The Marriage Diaries
by Jack'N'SallyGal
Summary: "Marry: defined as entering into a close union. Or, marriage according to law or custom. My definition has been altered in light of recent discoveries: Life sentence to Azkaban Prison with James Potter as my cellmate."
1. Chapter 1

_**The Marriage Diaries **_

_**Chapter One: Cellmates **_

_**Disclaimer: HP belongs completely to J.K. Rowling…if the series were mine it would have focused entirely on the Marauders! **_

"Marry: defined as entering into a close union. Or, marriage according to law or custom.  
My definition has been altered in light of recent discoveries: Life sentence to Azkaban Prison with James Potter as my cellmate."  
-Diary of Lily Evans, May 1977

On the day he learned that he was to become a husband, James Potter had the best Quidditch practice of his school career.

As Captain, he could say with absolute certainty that the team was as close to perfection as they would get. They had worked for over three hours, running plays that had gone off seamlessly. They had worked themselves to the point of exhaustion. But they loved every minute of it as they readied themselves for their final game at Hogwarts.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team could have gone on for another hour of flying drills, feeding off their fellow teammate's manic energy, if it hadn't been for the sudden rainstorm. They collectively ignored the painful drops driving into them as they flew until thunder began rumbling loudly nearby and lightning tore through the grey clouds overhead.

The team had dispersed soggier than when they had started, agreeing to meet the next afternoon for another practice to prepare for their last match against Slytherin.

James entered the castle long after his teammates. He had stayed behind to finish putting away the gear before settling in to go over the playbook one last time. Afterwards, he had taken the longest hot shower of his life to soothe his battered muscles, standing under the spray long after the water had cooled.

James mounted the moving staircase before it changed and once it stopped made his way quickly to the Gryffindor Common Room. He ran a hand through his shower damp hair, only calling out a quick greeting to those he passed in the halls so he could get back to the dorm and change into fresh clothing.

The Common Room was empty when he entered. If he had been paying attention, James would have thought that the place where most Gryffindor's gathered at night being empty was odd, but he thought little of it as he strode through the dimly lit room, so intent on getting back to the dorm that he didn't realize it was occupied until he was startled by the sound of raised voices.

"…me to calm down? Adam, I can't-"

Embarrassed, and slightly curious about the scene he may have stumbled upon, James crept forward with more caution than before so he could hear whatever was being said.

"You'll be all right, Lil, I promise." A male voice quietly soothed.

In the cover of darkness a young red headed woman sniffed and tried to wipe the moisture from her cheeks. Her identity was unclear until she spoke in a distinctly familiar voice that the Head Boy would recognize anywhere. "How can you say that? Don't you care that we have to get married?"

James reared back on unsteady legs. His mind was suddenly spinning, his thoughts blurring together as he realized several things at once. First, that the crying bird was Hogwarts' very own Head Girl. Second, and most importantly, Evans was not alone, but discussing her upcoming nuptials with her boyfriend of five months, Adam Bell; the same Adam Bell who had come inside from a rigorous Quidditch practice not too long ago and was now holding a distressed Lily Evans.

James was torn between wanting to cover his ears and run, to avoid hearing anything more from the obviously distressed couple, and wanting to approach them, to do what he knew was right and see if he could be of any help to the Head Girl and her boyfriend, his teammate/

It went without saying that the Head Boy and Girl didn't involve themselves with the romantic aspect of one another's lives. They were forced to work together every day which required seeing more of each other than they ever thought possible. Even with all the time they spent together there still remained a distinct line between them that was not to be crossed.

But, to James' mind, if it was ever a time to cross invisible lines, now was the time to do it.

"Everything all right here?"

Lily had to press a trembling fist against her mouth to keep from crying out. Her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat as the overly familiar voice shattered the quiet of the Common Room.

She hadn't noticed before but Lily now took in the sight of a very wet James Potter standing near her and Adam, with a sober expression filled with worry. She closed her eyes miserably against the sight of him, unable to control the tears that flooded her eyes and made twin path marks down both pale cheeks.

Adam rested a comforting hand on Lily's knee. He leaned forward so the firelight slowly revealed his handsome features and a shaky smile that he aimed in the direction of the Head Boy and his Quidditch captain.

"Sure, she's just received a bit of shocking news."

James nodded, believing Bell to some extent, but wanting Evans herself to let him know that she was really all right. He raised his wand tentatively and muttered "Lumos" so the Head Girl was revealed in the thin shaft of light.

"Evans?"

Lily bit down on her lower lip, nearly undone by the kindness she saw on Potter's concerned face. She dropped her head into her hands, her tearful expression hidden by a curtain of red hair.

"Please, James, let me deal with this-"Adam begged.

James watched his teammate take Lily into his arms, one oversized paw cradling her head gently against his broad chest. Her body was trembling uncontrollably and when he looked into Adam's direct brown gaze he saw his teammate begging him to leave and give Evans the space she needed.

"I'll leave, but if either of you need anything, Bell, you'll let me know. You understand?"

Adam took James at his word, nodding soberly as he watched the Head Boy walk away.

~1~

The Marauder's dorm was uncommonly subdued as James entered. After the encounter in the Common Room he was too tuned out to realize anything was wrong until he was shirtless and working on the fly of his trousers.

Forgetting the removal of his trousers, James did an about face, taking note of the fact that the other two Marauders were huddled around Moony's bed, dead silent.

"What's the matter?" James forgot about his half dressed state as his panic mounted. "What's wrong with Moony?"

Sirius turned away from Remus with a small frown. He peered at James through fringe that had fallen over grey eyes that radiated concern for their friend.

"We received our letters, Prongs." Sirius spoke softly, keeping his voice low for Remus' benefit. "The Ministry sent owls telling us who we'll be paired with-"

"Paired with for what?" James jerked his head in the direction of their catatonic friend. "What is this about?"

"They've passed a bloody marriage law." Sirius muttered. "With all the numbers we're losing in this war someone got the bright idea that forcing us to marry will help boost the population to keep magical lines from dying out."

Suddenly, the conversation between Bell and Evans came back to James, the full meaning behind Evans' words slamming into him like a physical blow.

Evans had received her letter. That much was clear now. What he wasn't sure of was whether or not she had been matched with Bell. After all, if they had been thrown together, why would she be sobbing in the middle of the Common Room?

From beside Sirius, Peter spoke up for the first time. "We left your letter on your bed, mate."

James nodded dumbly, making no move to retrieve the offending parchment.

"Tell me who you drew."James surveyed Peter and Sirius before finally glancing at Remus who hadn't moved since James entered the room.

Sirius wearily scrubbed a hand over his face before mumbling an incoherent reply. He mumbled a name that none of them were able to decipher as Sirius stood looking like he would rather be at a Black family reunion than where he was at the moment.

"Pad-"James growled.

"I said Brighton," Sirius snapped. He continued more quietly, "I was paired with Clover Brighton…from Slytherin."

"Sweet fancy Circe." Eyes closed, James pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "Pete, what about you?"

Pete couldn't help but smile as he considered his future wife. He had been pleasantly surprised upon opening his letter but now he toned down his happiness for Remus' sake. "The Ministry matched me with Marlene McKinnon."

James nodded his head absently. "Well done, Wormtail."

Suddenly feeling much older than his eighteen years, James made his way over to Remus. The mattress dipped as he settled his weight next to Moony's still form on the bed.

"Remus, mate, you know it will be all right." James gently nudged his friend's side but Remus didn't seem to notice. He continued staring out the window, watching as darkness settled over the grounds, with a deceptively blank expression.

"I am legally bound to marry Hannah Weaver before summer's end. How is anything about that scenario remotely all right?"

Remus looked to his three friends, all staring at him with an equal mix of sympathy and their steadfast understanding. It was the werewolf's lot in life to have the worst luck imaginable. It was bad enough that a marriage law had been passed, but for Remus to be paired with Hannah Weaver out of all of the young women was a direct 'screw you' from fate.

It was known throughout Hogwarts that Hannah, a golden haired Ravenclaw beauty, had lost her parents the summer before Fifth Year when they were attacked and murdered by Fenrir Greyback in their vacation home. Hannah had survived but never fully recovered from the attack that took her parents and a younger sister away from her.

How could she be expected to cope with what had happened to her family when the monster responsible had never been caught and brought to justice? She would still be living in fear once she left the safety of Hogwarts and there was no doubt that being matched to a werewolf would only add to her terror.

Remus could scarcely imagine her fear, the horror she would feel when she realized who she had been matched with. He could hardly believe it himself.

"Mate, there are plenty of birds out there who wouldn't mind being matched to you-"

Remus glanced at James as if his friend had sprouted another head. "Plenty of birds don't know about my lycanthropy, James! How do you think Hannah will take the news once she finds out?"

James straightened to his full height, bracing himself against Remus' arguing. "You're so certain she'll hate you, but you weren't the one responsible for what happened to her parents, Moony."

"That's enough!" Remus bolted to his feet, riddled with enough nervous energy and doubt to make him a bit unsteady as he stood. "I don't want to discuss this any further. You still need to open your letter and after we learn who the future Mrs. Potter is, I'm going to speak to the Headmaster to see if Hannah's situation can be rectified. Surely the Ministry will realize that they have made a mistake."

All eyes went to James as Remus' nuptial issues were put on the backburner for the time being. James forced away all the doubt swamping him as he lifted the sealed envelope. There were so many possibilities, wonderful or horrendous possibilities awaited him in one rather small envelope.

"Come on, then," Sirius drawled, having regained some of his good humor. He was smirking at James as he leaned against one of the bedposts. "It's time to face the music, Potter."

"Prat." James grinned as the nerves in his stomach abated somewhat with his friend's teasing.

"Tosser."

Remus rolled his tawny eyes, his lips twitching to form a smile. "Open it already, Prongs. The suspense is killing us."

"All right, keep your skirts on."

With great dramatic flair James tore into the letter and began unfolding the parchment slowly, hoping to torment his friends further.

The three Marauders watched with growing trepidation as James' good natured smile faltered, diminishing rapidly, until it disappeared altogether. It was replaced by a look of disbelief that betrayed the enormity of the situation.

"James," Sirius clapped his friend's shoulder roughly. "What's the verdict?"

James blinked dazedly as if emerging from a dreamlike state. He dropped the parchment as if he'd been burned and watched as it floated languidly before landing on the floor. James cleared his throat and contemplated the parchment on the floor so he would not have to meet the probing gazes of his friend's.

"It's Evans."James took a steadying breath that did nothing to relieve the shock coursing through him. "The Ministry paired me with Evans."

~2~

Lily awoke the next morning feeling groggy and exhausted after having fallen into bed sometime after two in the morning. She reached with one hand and felt the spot next to her. It was still warm from Adam having slept there and gotten up sometime in the past few minutes.

_Adam_.

Lily felt a terrifying pressure in her chest and for a moment she was afraid she would start crying again and revert to the state she had been in the previous night. After the shock of the contents of the letter had worn off she had realized the implications of a marriage law. She was expected to give up her boyfriend, the man that she had been dating for well over five months, to begin a life with someone she didn't love, someone who had the power to take away her freedom if he so chose-

The possibilities had overwhelmed her and she had broken down completely, first in the Common Room, which James Potter would know all about, and then later in the privacy of the Head's Dorm, where the only person there to witness the brilliant Lily Evans falling apart had been Adam.

Sweet, undemanding Adam who held her in bed, calming her with whispered endearments and the promise that he would do whatever she needed him to, to look after her after she had married. Throughout the agonizing night she was grateful to Adam, but still wondered how he could be so calm about his own upcoming nuptials.

The Ministry had paired Adam Bell with Catherine Prewett, a fellow Gryffindor who had recently broken things off with a Hogwarts graduate that was several years her senior. Catherine was unattached and a pretty girl, Lily mused. Not to mention Adam and Catherine didn't have the history that the Head Boy and Girl had, the epic history that came with two people who disliked one another after a series of blunders and misunderstandings.

Lily lay back in bed thinking what she knew were selfish thoughts. There was a war on, after all, but she couldn't help thinking of what she would be giving up by entering a loveless marriage with James Potter-

"Did I wake you?"

Adam smiled ruefully as he padded his way across the room and slipped into bed beside Lily. He was still warm, his chestnut colored hair sleep tousled as he pulled the covers over them both and settled against the pillow next to his girlfriend.

"No, I don't think so." Lily rolled over so she was facing Adam, their faces only meters apart. "I didn't sleep well in the first place."

"You did quite a lot of tossing and turning." Adam admitted as he stroked a gentle hand down the softness of her cheek. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm still in shock." Lily twined her fingers with Adam's, bracing herself for what she was about to say. "I need to find James, talk things through with him."

After Lily spoke there was a long silence in which Adam regarded her thoughtfully with golden brown eyes. He was surprised when he felt and unwanted flare of jealousy as he thought of Lily seeking out James so they could discuss their life after Hogwarts.

Over the years he had witnessed the animosity between the two; the taunting on Potter's part and the cool disdain Lily showed whenever they were in the same vicinity. It was true they had matured over the years but it wasn't as if they were friends or took any interest in one another outside of their Head duties.

The tentative alliance between Potter and Evans was nothing to envy but Adam couldn't help himself as he realized the reality of losing the red head lying beside him.

"If I were you I would catch him after practice tonight." Adam advised quietly. "He'll be in a good mood after the scrimmage."

Lily squeezed his hand as she closed her eyes and burrowed deeper into the covers. She felt his arms come around her and sighed contentedly in the near darkness. "Thank you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two: The Petition**

"_I suppose marriage would involve a great deal of compromise. Despite the opinions of some, I do know a thing or two about compromising my wants for the benefit of someone else. Such as going hungry so Sirius can have the last slice of bacon, or letting the bird that I've lusted after for the past seven years attempt to walk out of my life because it will make her happy. If that isn't compromise I'm not sure what is."  
-Diary of James Potter, May 1977_

James was aware the very instant that Lily showed up in the stands to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch scrimmage.

For the duration of the match he had been completely absorbed with the game. He sweated and pushed himself to the brink of exhaustion and beyond just as he pushed his teammates. Unlike the others, James made sure to keep his mind in the game as much as his body. As captain he felt the weight of responsibility on his shoulders to make sure his team was as prepared as possible for their last match.

All that focus was shot to Hades as soon as a sixth sense clued him in to Evans' presence.

She was in the stands, far away from the others who had come out to lend their support to the team. Not that it did any good, James thought with a disgusted frown. Physical distance wasn't enough to keep their peers from staring at the standoffish Head Girl. They couldn't be faulted as far as James was concerned when Lily showed up looking the way she did.

She was dressed up for a meeting with the Headmaster as well as officials from the Ministry. Loads of Seventh Year students met with the officials, presenting a signed petition that allowed them to redraw from a hat not so different from Hogwarts' own Sorting Hat, for a chance to draw someone else's name and be matched with a new partner, in Lily's case she had signed the parchment and marched herself to the Great Hall hoping to draw the name of one Adam Bell.

From what James could tell, Lily hadn't thought to change out of the clothes she wore before coming out to the pitch. It was impossible not to notice legs that went on for ages when they were encased in dress trousers that were tailored for a perfect fit. James felt his anger peak because he knew he was being distracted by long legs and the creamy white flesh that her breezy baby doll top left exposed but continued looking his fill anyway.

Lily forced herself to look away from James Potter's direct gaze. Even from a distance she felt his eyes on her, roaming over her face and elsewhere as if he were looking for an answer that eluded him. The tension in his jaw was unmistakable, the look on his face unreadable as he turned his full attention back to his teammates.

Lily swallowed her pride and quietly moved down the row to where Remus Lupin was seated. Although it was May and fairly warm with a tepid breeze Remus was bundled up in a faded black sweater and equally discolored jeans. Like the Head Girl he made a conscious decision to sit away from the rest of the Gryffindor's and now appeared absorbed in a paperback novel with a front cover that was worn from being reread several times over.

"Do you mind a bit of company?"

Remus startled, lowering the book with a caution that proved his reluctance to socialize since the news of the marriage law broke. Realizing it was Lily and not one of the gossip mongers, Remus smiled broadly and made a sweeping gesture for her to take a seat next to him. "Not at all."

Remus set aside the Muggle novel he had been pretending to be so engrossed with. As Lily smoothed a hand over her outfit, Remus took the opportunity to survey her briefly, curious as to how she was fairing after the events of the morning. "Lily, you know I heard about what happened with the Ministry officials earlier."

Lily nodded her head, absently tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. She knew the entire castle was discussing her desperate attempt to petition for Adam and her humiliating failure. She remembered the serene look on Albus Dumbledore's face as she anxiously plucked a scrap of paper from the charmed hat only to glance down and see James Potter's name scrawled in bold letters. Against the wishes of the Ministry Lily had reached in and drawn again, her hands shaking as she grasped a second scrap of parchment only to have the same results.

The other couples who wished to petition for a chance to draw someone else stared on in shock as the Head Girl's deep-set green eyes filled with moisture. She had stood before her classmates mirroring the astonishment they felt as she realized her fate. There was no getting out of the situation she found herself in, her options were exhausted, her hope shattered with the failed petition.

Lily stared away from the scrimmage, her eyes taking in the breathtaking view from the stands instead of the action on the pitch. "Everyone knows the situation now. They know that I have no choice but to marry James. That I tried so hard to stop it and failed." Lily turned her attention back to Remus who was regarding her as a friend, without judgment. "He knows too, doesn't he? James heard what happened."

Remus nodded compassion in his gaze as he reached for Lily's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "They can't help themselves, Lily. It's easier to deal with what's happening if they focus on someone else's misfortune. Take comfort in the fact that you and James aren't the only ones in the spotlight at the moment."

Grateful for his kindness, Lily linked her arm through Remus' and set aside her own worries. She would deal with the fallout from her actions later. Now, she needed to be sure that Remus was as okay as he seemed. "What about you? Has the Ministry said anything about you marrying Hannah?"

"They have agreed to release Hannah from her contract. Apparently, she attempted to draw again and the parchment was blank." Remus grinned wryly, genuinely relieved after the unexpected turn of events. "The Ministry deemed it cruel and unusual to force a young woman to marry a half-breed and after she withdrew the blank parchment they decided that she would be exempt from the law."

It was amazing to behold the sight of fire leaping into Lily's eyes. "I cannot believe you would say something like that!"

"Lily-"

"If you're a half-breed, Lupin, then I'm nothing more than a dirty Mudblood." Lily retorted hotly, still looking riled up and ready to do Remus Lupin bodily harm if he disagreed with her words.

Remus sobered. He could see beneath the anger how upset she was by his self deprecating comment. He had slipped and momentarily forgot her unfailing loyalty to those she cared about. It was quite possibly one of the best things about Lily and also her greatest flaw. Lily Evans was tenacious in her faith in other people always sticking with them when others wouldn't.

"You are no such thing, Lily. I apologize if I offended you-"

"Me?" Lily's eyes widened comically. Remus watched most of the anger fade from her body, leaving her with a sad smile that made him distinctly uncomfortable. "Remus, if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would never describe yourself that way."

Remus rolled his eyes gently. "I'm sure you're right. Much like you, I'm sure there are those in our world who believe that werewolves are _deeply _misunderstood creatures, a far cry from the beasts we have been unfairly depicted as."

Lily ignored Remus' sarcasm. Once more she looped her arm through his in a gesture of camaraderie, small smile still in place. "I'm looking forward to the day when you meet someone just as incredible as yourself. Don't laugh! You'll fall for a wonderful woman, Remus, and she'll make you eat your words."

"I doubt it, Lily. I appreciate your faith in the human race but I have no plans to 'fall' for anyone anytime soon."

Lily laughed as if she was in on a joke that Remus knew nothing about. Her smile grew and she shook her head, rippling her fiery mane of hair as she considered her clueless friend. "Oh, Remus, you poor thing."

~1~

As soon as the scrimmage was over Remus grabbed his book and made a hasty exit. He gave Lily an encouraging smile before leaving her alone to face the proverbial lion in his den.

As she made her way to the locker room where the players were finishing getting cleaned up Lily felt nerves settle in her stomach, overtaking rational thinking and making her crazy with worry.

Adam had left as soon as practice was over, allowing her the privacy she needed to speak with James. He had been unnerved by the results of the petition but outwardly supportive of her need to clear the air with James.

She waited outside for ages, enduring curious stares and speculative whispers as team members trickled out and started back to the castle. After what felt like an eternity Lily squared her shoulders and bravely entered the steamy locker room. She encountered shocked glances from the Gryffindor team as she made her way through the grimy room. She walked with her head held high, her chin jutted determinedly, while her eyes scanned the room for a familiar mop of black hair.

"Where is Potter? I need to speak with him."

Through the haze of steam, Sirius Black materialized wearing jeans, a look of mild interest and nothing more. His grey eyes sized Lily up as he folded his arms over a solid chest, clearly at ease with his half dressed state. "You plan on talking to James in here?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders, appearing more confident than she felt. She realized that all eyes were on her. Activity had come to a standstill as soon as the Head Girl entered the locker room looking for her fiancée. "At least we'll be able to have a certain amount of privacy in here."

Sirius snorted. Unbothered by his lack of clothing, he regarded the red head with thinly veiled hostility. "After what you pulled this morning I'm surprised you had the nerve to come here-"

"That's enough, Padfoot."

Lily turned at the sound of James' steel laced voice, seemingly floating through the mist and reaching her ears. "I would appreciate it if the rest of you would clear out so Lily and I could have some privacy."

Locker doors slammed shut and feet shuffled as Gryffindor's finest hurried to obey their captain. Lily watched the retreat with a small amount of amusement. When she turned back, she found herself incapable of speech, every coherent thought abruptly fleeing her mind. James Potter stood before her with a towel draped loosely around his narrow hips, his head cocked as he regarded her solemnly.

Lily took quick inventory, looking from James' indecipherable expression to a bead of water making its way down his lean chest and finally landing on the towel that served as a barrier between her and complete mortification.

After several seconds of heavy silence, Lily cleared her throat and dragged her eyes upward. A lesser woman would have blushed and stammered at such an impressive sight, and Lily grudgingly admitted that the lean, shower damp body was impressive. But she was not to be distracted. "We need to talk."

"I agree. First, would you do me a favor?"Under Lily's scrutiny, James' hold tightened on the towel and he shifted his stance, unknowingly causing the towel to part enough for Lily's eyes to widen.

Lily felt her nerves return in full force and struggled to keep her voice even. "All right."

"Could you take a step to the right so I can get to my locker? My clean clothes are in there."

"Right." Lily stepped away from James' locker and moved to the other side of the room where she dropped heavily onto a bench. "You get changed and I'll talk."

"Go for it."

Lily folded her hands in her lap. She drew a shuddering breath and stared fixedly at the mildewed wall in front of her. "I realize that you know what I was up to this morning, with the petition. I want you to know that I never meant to embarrass you, James. Adam and I both thought it would be quick and rather simple." She paused, unsure of how to continue and wishing suddenly that she could see James' expression as she spoke.

"You wanted it to be quick and simple?" Lily gasped as a hand gripped her arm and spun her none too gently so she was facing the opposite direction. James had dressed quicker than she thought possible and now loomed over her, looking rumpled and wet and incredibly angry. His hand tightened on her flesh as he lifted her to her feet. "Did you even pause to think things through before you signed that bloody parchment?"

"Of course I did!" Lily wrenched her arm free of James' bruising grip but moved closer so they stood toe to toe. "I discussed it with Adam this morning. We both agreed that we would at least attempt the petition."

James grimaced and took a step backward. He was sure that if he didn't distance himself somewhat from the insufferable red head he would put his hands on her again and end up shaking some much needed sense into her. "What a brilliant idea that turned out to be, eh? I'm still having a hard time believing that you attempted something so bloody stupid-"

Lily made a strangled sound of outrage. Her cheeks flamed and she thoughtlessly took another step so she was much too close to James, close enough to see the heat of anger in his hazel eyes up close and smell the soap he had just used to scrub the sweat from his skin. "Don't you dare speak to me that way you arrogant prat! I did what I had to do in this horrendous situation and I won't apologize just because it may have damaged your incredibly large ego."

"What are you talking about?"

Primed for a fight, Lily straightened her back and bounced on her tip toes so she was eye level with the Head Boy. "I'm talking about the fact that all of Hogwarts is discussing us because I attempted to draw Adams' name. I realize that my petitioning for Adam would be a bit of an embarrassment for you but I don't give a tinker's damn about your bloody pride."

James didn't speak right away. He merely stared at his inflamed fiancée, letting the thick silence drag on as their gazes clashed and held in the space that suddenly felt much too small.

"You're right, Evans." He said at last, sounding far too cool and in control in comparison to Lily. "You managed to embarrass me in front of the entire school. Well done and congratulations because it appears were truly are stuck together despite your well thought out attempt to make it otherwise."

Still brimming with unrestrained fury, Lily backed away from James before she could do something she would later regret. There was plenty she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that she was just as embarrassed as he was. That she was terrified and already lonely as she contemplated breaking things off with Adam and since the disaster earlier in the day she was now walking around in a state of panic as she considered the new future she had been dealt.

All the emotions were there churning turbulently inside of Lily, threatening to spill over if she unleashed them on James.

Instead, Lily dug deep into her reserve of self control as she turned her back on James and walked out of the locker room and into the bright afternoon sunshine, alone.

~2~

Clover Brighton had a headache the size of the Giant Squid. As far as she could tell, the world was really in a sad state when even the library wasn't safe from the mindless gossip concerning the marriage law. Clover had sought refuge among the stacks, abandoning her usual haven by the lake so she could finish the sketches she was working on.

It was less than ten minutes later and she was fleeing the unusually noisy library with her sketchbook and a massive headache. Clover wouldn't have paid any attention to the gossip under different circumstances. Circumstances where she wasn't the one being discussed her life being dissected for the entertainment of the masses.

Even in the corridor she felt the eyes of her class on her. Gryffindor's regarded her questioningly, not ready to trust the girl who would one day soon become the new Mrs. Black. Slytherin's were much more straightforward about how they felt. Her housemates considered her a traitor, as if it were her fault and not some cosmic joke that had paired her with the most notorious blood traitor in their year.

Sirius saw her coming before she noticed him. He was supposed to be meeting the rest of the Marauder's in the library, which would end in him grilling James about his locker room encounter with Evans, but he was sidetracked by the sight of the mysterious Clover Brighton. She was walking through the halls like she owned them, baby fine blonde hair streaming behind her with the damned sketchbook tucked under her arm. As an expert on females, Sirius conceded that Brighton wasn't exactly troll ugly, which made it that much harder to look away.

Clover had wide blue eyes, a bottomless blue that overshadowed a pert nose and plump lower lip. Her features would have been plain on their own but together on one female face they were nearly devastating and would draw the eyes of every male in a given room.

Sirius couldn't claim to know the Slytherin well but since learning that she would soon become a somewhat permanent fixture in his life he had taken it upon himself to learn as much about her as possible.

Thanks to two days of inquiry, he now knew that Clover Brighton was born on the third of October. She had no siblings as far as anyone knew and had a wide circle of friends outside of Hogwart's. She spent her time with people that hailed from foreign places and were interested in fruity paintings and abstract rubbish that made no sense. Clover carried her sketchpad around at all times, flipping it open randomly so she could draw pictures of Merlin only knew what. Finally, Sirius knew that Clover had befriended Severus Snape in their third year, and had been part of the infamous Snape, Evans, and Brighton trio until the disastrous lake incident of fifth year.

Sirius propped himself against the wall, his arms folded across his chest as he watch Brighton approach. She wasn't looking at him, either because she hadn't seen him or because she had but refused to acknowledge his presence. Despite his best efforts he found himself curious about her, wondering what kind of woman he would be marrying.

Just as she was about to walk by, Slytherin royalty with her nose tilted up, Clover caught Sirius' eye and did the strangest thing. The corners of her mouth tilted upward and she winked saucily without breaking stride.

Sirius was rooted to the spot where he stood, helpless to do anything other than stare after Clover Brighton as she marched toward her own common room clutching the ever present sketch pad tightly to her chest.

~3~

James was dreading rounds that night. After dinner he began working on an essay that wasn't due for another week, forcing all his concentration on Potions instead of Lily Evans. He discovered it was easier said than done when he discovered after several hours that he still hadn't written more than ten words.

His mind kept straying back to the locker room. He remembered the look on Lily's face, the anger that drove her to go head to head with him so fiercely. Most of all he remembered her attack on him, the way she accused him of having too much ego to care about anyone else.

James shook his head but found no relief from his troubled thoughts.

"James?" Remus cleared his throat lightly from his bed. "I don't think you want to be late for rounds."

James removed his glasses so he could scrub at his face and pinch the bridge of his nose. "Thanks, Moony."

Peter could be heard laughing from his bed. "We can't fault you for not wanting to go, mate. After Evans stormed into the lockers the way she did-"

"Pete, shut your gob." Exasperated with his friend's cluelessness, Sirius launched a pillow across the room that collided perfectly with Peter's unsuspecting face.

Despite the dread settling in his gut, James managed a smile as he slipped his glasses back on the bridge of his nose. He rose from where he was seated and stretched languidly, easing some of the tension from his battered body.

"I'll see you in awhile." He shot a teasing grin over his shoulder before he passed through the door. "Don't wait up for me."

For the first time all year, James was early. He arrived several minutes ahead of Lily in their agreed upon spot near the Hufflepuff dormitories. He watched her approach, the way she instinctively slowed as she drew nearer and her eyes widened in surprise.

James jammed his hands in the pockets of his trousers and ducked his head when she stopped in front of him. "I'll take the Slytherin and Ravenclaw corridors if you'll patrol along Hufflepuff and Gryffindor." James attempted to move past her with a polite smile but the feel of Lily's hand closing firmly over his arm stopped him in his tracks.

"James, I'd like to apologize."

James glanced down at the pale hand on his arm before meeting Lily's earnest gaze. "Apologize for what, exactly?"

"I want to apologize for what I said earlier. I shouldn't have gone off the way I did, saying those things about you-"

James gently removed Lily's hand while averting his eyes. "It doesn't matter. We should start rounds-"

Lily bit back her impatience reminding herself that anger would get her nowhere at this point. "It does matter. I shouldn't have said what I did. I was upset about what happened with the petition and I wrongly took it out on you."

"All right, fine. Apology accepted." James shoved a hand through his hair, his gaze straying down the dark corridor. "Before we forget all of this I'd like to know if you believed what you were saying about my precious ego."

Lily winced. "James, I can't blame you for being embarrassed after what happened. I'm just sorry that I attacked you that way."

James looked back at the Head Girl, his gaze burning into her with its intensity. "I don't give a damn what everyone else is saying about me, Evans. What really got to me was the fact that you didn't think of the consequences of what you were doing when you decided to draw from that hat."

"What consequences?" Lily demanded. "I was trying to save both of us from an awful marriage-"

"What if you drew Nott's name? I know I'm not your favorite person in the world, Evans, but what if you went up there this afternoon and drew a Flint or someone as equally narrow minded? Do you have any idea what they could do to you?"

Understanding dawned on Lily with startling clarity. "I hadn't considered it."

"I didn't think you would." James said gruffly. "But I thought about it. If you had drawn one of their names you would be stuck with them, no petition would get you out of it. You would be married to someone who knows you're Muggleborn and treats you like complete shite."

Lily stumbled away from James and had to lean against the wall for support. She tipped her head back and closed her eyes as she allowed a wave of humiliation to engulf her. She felt like a fool for yelling at James earlier, accusing him of having a giant ego and saying horrible things to him when he had been the one worried about her safety.

"You're telling the truth, aren't you?"Lily asked miserably. "You were thinking about what a huge mistake I could have made while I was busy yelling at you in the locker room."

James couldn't help but crack a smile as he leaned on the wall beside Lily. "As surprising as it is, I admit I was thinking about your safety."

Lily groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Now I feel worse. Merlin, I really am sorry."

"We already went over this. You don't have to be sorry. We both did our fair share of yelling."

Lily laughed a weary sound that caused James to look at her a little closer. "That's true enough. Out of all the arguments that have occurred on the grounds I'm fairly certain that our spectacle in the locker room made some sort of history."

"We've done worse." James remarked thoughtfully, not that Lily needed reminding.

Before they could continue travelling down a rather unpleasant memory lane, Lily pushed away from the wall. She backed away from James, jerking her head in the direction of the Hufflepuff dorms.

"I'll, erm, check the Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaw's-"

"Yeah, I'll do the other two."

They nodded in mutual agreement and took off in opposite directions without saying another word.

**A/N: Whew. What a long two weeks it has been! First, thanks everyone for taking an interest in this story. All alerts and reviews are appreciated!  
Also, you'll notice that the rating has been changed to M because I am anticipating a certain amount of lemony goodness to come in this story. If occasional smut and adult themes in general offend you I apologize and thought I should take the time to warn you.  
Thirdly, in case you were unsure before I will say now that this story is definitely AU. I added things such as Quidditch locker rooms for the sake of the story line and hope taking my artistic liberties won't bother anyone too much!  
Finally, thanks to Operamuse. She is a fabulous sister and writer who allowed me to bounce my ideas off of her and agreed to look over this story for me.  
Again, thanks for taking the time to read! Love and fluff, JNSG**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Run From Safety **

**A/N: I would like to thank everyone who took the time to review! I **_**thrive**_** on feedback so please feel free to let me know likes/dislikes, what you'd like to see more of, etc. It feeds my rabid plot bunnies and prompts quicker updates!**

**Dislaimer: HP is not mine. Run From Safety also belongs to the band Octoberman…great song…worth checking out!**

"Marriage is complicated and messy even for people who are in love when they walk down the aisle. Alice finally became Mrs. Longbottom over Christmas and her and Frank have been starry eyed ever since. They fight like other couples but you look at them and they are so in love with one another that you feel like you should look away to give them privacy. Alice says the occasional fights make her feel awful but I have it on good authority that the making up is incredible."  
-Diary of Lily Evans, June 1977

Two weeks after the notorious locker room incident, Lily rose early and dressed. It was a Saturday which meant getting up ages before anyone else to spend several hours working with Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing.

It took plenty of convincing including a recommendation from Dumbledore before Pomfrey allowed Lily to infringe on her territory. Over the course of her final year Lily worked her hardest to earn the trust of the Medi-Witch and now that she was about to graduate she felt that she had finally come to an understanding of sorts with the other woman.

Lily smoothed a hand over the loose fitting trousers she wore and pulled her mane of red hair into a ponytail as she walked through the mostly empty corridor, knowing she was early but still walking quickly because she knew it would please Poppy.

"Good morning Madame Pomfrey." Lily stopped short in the doorway of the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey barely glanced up at the Head Girl, giving all her attention to the battered body of James Potter.

James stirred from his bed, glancing toward the doorway where Lily stood open mouthed.

"What happened?" Lily tentatively stepped into the room, before she abandoned her reserve and allowed her feet to propel her across the room and to James' bedside.

He was exhausted, his face pale and his eyes heavy behind his glasses. There was blood drying at his hairline from a rather nasty looking abrasion. The skin that was exposed by his stained shirt revealed deep gashes with dark blood and the beginning of several painful looking bruises.

James struggled to sit up in bed despite Poppy's protests. His body was shaking the effort and exhaustion but he managed it. "Hey, Lil-"

"What happened to you?" Lily demanded more firmly.

Madame Pomfrey shifted her hawkish gaze from the Head Girl to James who offered a weak grin. "Mr. Potter has informed me that he _fell _in his dorm room on the way to the lavatory."

James winked at Lily disarmingly. "It was a rather rough landing, that's all."

Madame Pomfrey's lips thinned and she regarded the young man in her charge. He was clearly lying, but that wasn't important now. She had another patient to look after now that the full moon had passed, one who needed her more than the _clumsy _Mr. Potter.

Shooting James a watchful look Pomfrey turned to Lily. "Miss Evans, if you will please begin cleaning Mr. Potter's abrasions, no need to risk infection. I gave him a sleeping draught so he should be dozing in no time. Meanwhile, Mr. Lupin needs tending."

"Of course." Lily set to work immediately, retrieving enough disinfectant and warm towels to take care of James' abused body.

"Lily-"

"Not a word out of you, Potter. Not yet."

Lily gathered her supplies, balancing the towels, disinfectant and a basin of warm water as she made her way over to James. She sat on the unoccupied side of the bed and silently began the task of wiping the dried blood from his forehead.

"I could probably, erm, do this myself."James would refrain from mentioning the effect she was having on him as her small, competent hands moved over his body but the least he could do was offer to take care of his own injuries.

"Absolutely not." Lily insisted. "This is part of my internship. I can handle it."

James sank back against the pillow supporting his head, unable to keep his eyes open. "Aren't you the slightest bit curious about what happened?"

Without answering, Lily removed James' glasses. He opened his eyes without really being able to make out anything other than Lily's blurred silhouette. He watched her place his specs on the bedside table before turning back to him and continuing to wipe the grime from his face with a gentle hand.

"I have a pretty good idea of what happened to you."Lily began applying the disinfectant, impressed when James didn't so much as wince when she applied it directly to the gash on his forehead. "Yesterday was the full moon, wasn't it?"

James' hazel eyes shot open. The room was spinning as he sat up and fumbled for his glasses. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Mindful of Poppy's supersonic hearing, Lily lowered her voice. "I know about Remus, James. I've known since fourth year when he told me. Since I've started working here I've noticed a trend with the Marauders. You seem to show up pretty often around the full moon each month. You usually make up some far-fetched excuse for why you're nearly unconscious and bleeding so Poppy will treat you without involving the Headmaster."

James tried to laugh but it came out as more of a croak. "The full moon has nothing to with this. It's nothing more than my own klutziness."

"You really think such a weak story is going to fool me? Falling on your way to the loo," Lily rolled her eyes, "Merlin, Potter, how daft do you think I am?"

James seemed to fight an internal battle for several seconds before answering. He considered Lily, her friendship with Remus and how much she cared for him. He had always known that she felt a strong loyalty to this she cared about so he doubted there was any harm in telling her, or letting her tell him what she had guessed. "What's your great conspiracy theory, Evans?" He asked finally.

Lily regarded James thoughtfully while dabbing lightly at the scrapes on his face and arms. When she spoke she made sure to look him in the eye so she could see the truth of her words reflected there.

"I think that Prongs, Wormtail and Padfoot care a lot about Remus and they went to…dangerous lengths to help him."

James pretended to consider this. "Okay, what else?"

"I think what they did to help their friend shows equal parts loyalty and courage and more than a little stupidity."

"Stupidity, eh?" James murmured drowsily.

Once Lily finished tending to his wounds she surprised them both by taking his hand in her own, trailing her fingers lightly over his bandaged knuckles. She stared down at his hand in silence, considering its size and the obvious strength. It was roughened from years of Quidditch but she knew it would have the capacity to be gentle.

She was sure of it now that her theory about the Marauder's had been confirmed.

"The three of you could have failed and wound up doing some serious damage."

"That's true." James conceded. "But we didn't. We were too determined to fail, love."

His head drooped against the pillow. Lily laughed quietly, admiring his ability to be cocky even while he was fighting off the urge to sleep.

Lily released James' hand, tucking the sheet more securely around him and removing his glasses once more. "Sleep well, Prongs."

She brushed a feather light kiss on the Head Boy's forehead before quietly moving away to find Madame Pomfrey.

**~1~**

Several days later, on the morning of the last Quidditch game, the Marauder's dorm was in an uproar. Three of the four occupants were rudely awakened at six in the morning as their dorm was being loudly tossed. Furniture was being moved, clothes thrown across the room as the fourth occupant searched frantically for his lucky Quidditch socks.

Sirius Black sat up in bed, his normally styled hair a mess, a furious frown turning his lips down at the corners. Blearily, he wiped a hand over his face as he struggled to make sense of the scene unfolding before him. "Potter, what the sweet hell are you doing?"

James was on his knees peering into the black abyss beneath Peter's bed with a bleak expression. He mostly ignored Sirius' question, clearing aside loose parchment and a stray trainer while he searched for the blasted socks that he'd worn during every game over the past seven years.

They were mangy, thinning in the heel and going from a fresh out-of-the-package white to a dull grey after being worn for so long. The others teased James for being superstitious enough to hang on to them but there was no way he was giving up his lucky, if shabby, charm.

"Prongs, go back to bed. We'll form a search party later, I promise." Remus ran a hand over his sandy bed head, eyes unfocused and heavy with sleep.

Sirius' grey eyes widened as he stared disbelievingly at James' back. "This is about the socks? You woke me up at six in the bloody morning for a manky pair of socks?" Sirius cursed under his breath and flopped back in bed. "I ought to stuff those socks-"

"Can you three please stop talking?" Peter whined glumly from his bed. He belatedly threw his arm over his eyes, blocking out the sunlight and the angry faces of the Marauder's. "I'm knackered and I have to meet Marlene for an early breakfast."

Sirius gave up on glaring at the neurotic stag boy and swung his gaze to Peter who was still trying to burrow into his blankets and recapture the remnants of deep sleep. "You and McKinnon are repulsive, do you know that? Spending all your time together and making sappy eyes at each other."

"Don't be bitter, Padfoot." Peter mumbled sleepily. "With time I'm sure Brighton might be able to stomach being married to you. If you're lucky she may eventually find you tolerable."

"Bugger you, Wormtail." Sirius muttered without heat. "Enjoy being married to the village broomstick-"

"For the love of Merlin, will you both stop! It's far too early to be going back and forth that way." Remus exploded suddenly.

At Peter's bedside, James straightened with socks in hand. "Found them, dirty but no worse for wear. I have no idea what they were doing under Pete's bed but that is unimportant at this point."

Peter rolled his eyes and curled up in his bed. "Does that mean I can go back to bed?"

"Do what you like, Wormtail." James said contentedly. "I'm going to shower."

James took his time in the shower, trying to avoid hitting the worst of his bruises with the stream of water. He took longer than necessary as his thoughts drifted from the parting shots Moony had taken at Prongs several nights before to the woman who bandaged him up while he was in the hospital wing.

He wasn't sure how it had happened but after their talk that morning things had shifted between them. Instead of the uneasy courtesy they normally extended one another, they had developed some sort of bond, a genuine affection for one another that closely resembled a friendship.

It was unnerving to see Lily smile at him now when they teased one another. Her temper wasn't as quick around him even though they still had a tendency to argue. Now, instead of lapsing into a tense silence they would usually argue until one of them broke down laughing or they forgot why they were fighting in the first place and the matter would be dropped.

Rounds were no longer silent but filled with seven years of missed conversations about past, present and what they hoped for in the future.

James listened to Lily discuss the Healer program she had been accepted into through St. Mungo's and her excitement for her friend Alice who had just married longtime boyfriend and Auror-in-training, Frank Longbottom.

In turn Lily listened to James ramble about Quidditch scouts wanting to sign him, how bizarre it was for to have them clamoring for his attention. He told her edited versions of the Marauder's adventures over the years, pleased when she would laugh helplessly instead of calling them immature prats like he thought she would.

Eventually, James turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. He toweled off still thinking about Evans and grinning like a nutter.

**~2~**

Many hours after the Gryffindor victory Lily and James were still awake. They were the only occupants of the Common Room, everyone having retired hours before when the party ended.

James was tired after playing the match of his Hogwart's career but when Lily asked he had agreed to stay up. Graduation was fast approaching and with the pressure of N.E.W.T.S. they were both able to agree that it was better to get the arrangements out of the way now rather than later.

They were brainstorming, working in sync until James surprised himself by being a complete prat. It wasn't intentional and even while it was happening, James' brain screamed at him to stop but he couldn't seem to prevent things from getting completely out of hand.

James was sprawled on one of the sofas, legs crossed at the ankles, posture relaxed. He was discussing floral arrangements of all things with Lily who was seated across from him, scribbling furiously on a scrap of parchment.

James watched her write, red head bent, teeth sinking into the softness of her lower lip. Her hands moved swiftly, transferring her rapid fire thoughts onto the parchment before they could be forgotten.

"Lily?"

"Hmm?" Lily glanced up with a thoughtful expression, her eyes luminous in the fading light of the Common Room.

In that moment James was struck speechless. He was sure that he couldn't speak around the sudden lump lodged in his throat followed closely by the wave of lust that engulfed him. He wasn't sure what had triggered it, the swollen lower lip that she had been worrying for the last half hour, the way the corners of her lips twitched into an uncertain smile as he gazed at her without saying a word.

Sweet fancy Circe, even the way her ponytail bounced when she cocked her head to one side turned him on.

"James?" Lily prompted sounding confused.

James cursed himself silently and shook off the lusty haze. Having forgotten what he was going to say in the first place, James said the first thing that came to mind and immediately regretted it."I've seen Adam and Catherine around a lot lately."

_Really smooth, Potter, bring up the boyfriend and his fiancé. Why not find a puppy to kick while you're at it?_

The sexy half smile that had James so entranced disappeared completely from Lily's face. She cleared her throat and glanced back down at the parchment intently. "I hadn't noticed."

Anger quickly killed any remnants of lust that James felt. He couldn't explain why, but something about Lily's sudden timidity bothered him. The last few times he'd seen Lily with Adam and it had bothered him not just because they were still together but because he also saw Adam hanging around with Prewett whenever he wasn't with Lily.

James had been smart enough not to bring it up, until now. "How could you not notice, Evans? They've been spending all their free time together."

Lily set aside the quill she was holding, her green eyes flashing with annoyance. "I haven't noticed because it isn't my business, Potter. Will you please just leave it alone-"

James sat up straighter and leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "How is it not your business? You're dating the bloke while he's spending time with his bloody fiancé!"

"We aren't dating you arrogant prat!" Lily whispered angrily. "I broke up with Adam two weeks ago, not that it is any of your business-"

James laughed and flopped back on the couch with a schooled look of indifference that he didn't feel. "You're right of course, definitely none of my concern. It's not like we're getting married or anything-"

Without sparing James a glance Lily swept up the pile of parchment they had used to brainstorm their ideas for graduation.

"That's brilliant, Evans." James muttered. "Just walk away."

Lily dropped the pile of parchment and rounded furiously on James. "What would you like me to say, James? That I miss Adam? I do, all right? I miss him but we've decided to remain friends so we are still spending time together-"

James hurled himself off the sofa. In a manner of seconds he was standing directly in front of Lily, regarding her with a look of distaste. "Is that what you'll be doing when we're married? Sneaking off to spend time with Adam who you're apparently just friends with?"

"What I do when we marry won't be any of your concern, especially since it will be a marriage in name only." Lily bit out.

She had the satisfaction of seeing James turn a brilliant shade of red as he considered facing the rest of his life as a celibate man. Grinning at his rage, Lily scooped up her papers once more and strode out of the Common Room.

She didn't make it far. The portrait opened behind her and before she could process what was happening a pair of hands gripped her upper arms, jerking her around.

"Potter, don't-"

It was too late for any more protests. Lily felt the air being knocked out of her as she collided with James Potter's solid chest. An instant later he dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers, feather light with hardly any pressure at all, a kiss that was at odds with the potent anger that was radiating off of them in waves.

Drawing back, James loosened his grip, giving Lily the chance to tell him to go to hell or inflict the bodily harm he deserved. He was amazed when he found her staring up at him, her gaze heavy lidded and at odds with her uncertain expression.

Looking at Lily, taking in the sort of dazed look on her face, James could only assume he was looking at her the same way. He felt just about as uncertain as she looked about what he'd just done and how much he wanted to do it again very soon.

Disgusted with himself, James released her while taking a step back. "Merlin, Evans-"

Lily didn't give herself the time to think. Acting on impulse, she closed the gap between their bodies. She stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips firmly against his, unsure whether to laugh or cry when his arms slid around her waist, subtly pulling her close and sending a jolt of electricity through her body as she felt the kiss all the way to her toes.

She wanted the kiss to be horrible, to prove that their first barely-lip lock was a fluke and never worth repeating. She was hoping their mouths would meet and she would feel nothing.

Lily hadn't expected the sharp pang of heat that shot straight through her. She opened her mouth to James, feeling the antagonism from their fight melt away as a more primal reaction to one another surfaced, scaring her to death.

It was Lily who ended the kiss this time. She pulled away, breathing heavily, feeling the loss of James' warmth as he dropped his arms and took a deliberate step back.

Eyes averted, Lily licked her swollen lower lip incredulously. She resisted the urge to fidget under the scrutiny of James' hazel gaze but couldn't quite look him in the eye. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

Feeling completely thrown off James jammed his hands in the pockets of his trousers and rocked back on his heels. "You mean the first or second time?"

Lily shook her head, unconsciously licking the bottom lip that was wreaking havoc with James' libido. "I-I have to go."

"You can't." James felt like tearing at his hair. He was so on edge, every muscle tensed, his akin tingling after their encounter. "We have to talk about this-"

"Please don't do this. Let's skip the part where we each overanalyze what just happened and go directly to ignoring one another."

"I don't want to ignore you, Evans." Without thinking James lifted his hand to her face, using his fingers to tilt her chin up so she would meet his eye. "You're completely barmy if you think I'd be able to ignore you after what just happened."

Lily could feel the heat of James' fingers under her chin. A small part of her wanted to turn her face into the palm of his hand, to feel the rough texture of his hand against the downy softness of her cheek. She could imagine his look of surprise if she dare do something that bold, shifting into one of amusement and pleasure

Lily exhaled noisily while internally questioning her own sanity. It was not sane to fantasize about James Potter's hands, on her cheeks or elsewhere.

It couldn't possibly be rational or healthy to be arguing one second and snogging their brains out the next.

Could it?

"I'm not sure how wise it would be to start snogging now that we have a friendship of sorts."

"That's a fair point. Friends are not meant to snog." James tried to soften his words with a teasing smile. "I've never had the urge to snog Moony or the other blokes before; I think our friendship may be somewhat different in that respect."

"Unbelievable." Lily grumbled. "I'm a bundle of nerves while you're completely nonchalant about this entire thing."

Suffering from emotional whiplash James opened his arms. He was grateful when Lily stepped into them without too much protest. He rested his chin on the crown of her head and took a deep, tranquil breath.

"I'm hardly nonchalant, love." James tightened his hold on her body before releasing her. "You have a way of making me crazy."

Lily squeezed her eyes shut, fighting off the urge to laugh at the absurdity of their situation. "I swear I don't mean to."

"We'll have to work on that, Lil."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: The Gift **

**A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing everyone. I appreciate your patience with my updating schedule because I have finally found a summer job and my hours tend to vary. Writing time has decreased in favor of doing something I get paid for, which is unfortunate because I do miss my free time! Do not worry, though, because my muse would never let me give up on this project. Thanks again, JNSG **

"Marriage should be all right. To be honest I'm not sure why everyone's so against it. It will be like having a fit roommate who gives you regular shagging rights. Not a bad situation, that."  
-Diary of Peter Pettigrew, July 1977

An instant before her Self-Awakening charm sounded Lily awoke and managed to catch it before it could go off.

At first she was disoriented. She took in her surroundings beginning with the obviously old but well cared for bedside table and dresser and ending with the twin bed she had slept in that creaked each time she moved.

_Alice_, Lily remembered groggily.

After graduation nearly a month before Lily had returned to her childhood home briefly to pack her belongings and clear out of the bedroom that had been hers since she was a toddler.

Since then she had been staying in the second bedroom in Alice and Frank Longbottom's flat until she was dragged down the aisle by Potter or they managed to agree on a house to settle into.

She had been awake less than a minute and she already wished she could go back to bed.

As if it wasn't enough to be elbow deep in her classes through St. Mungo's, Lily was also dealing with the search for a flat, wedding plans and the prospect of meeting her in-laws. Her stress level was ratcheted up daily and she found that each morning she had the urge to pull the duvet over her head and return to unconscious bliss.

Since graduation she had been in constant communication with James, though they hadn't seen each other. They sent their owls back and forth, probably exhausting the poor dears, carrying messages concerning their estate agent and guest lists and addressing the other mind numbing tasks that had been thrust upon them.

For several long moments Lily contemplated staying in bed. It was still dark beyond her window, the sun not quite prepared to rise as the gentle summer breeze blew in from outside, inviting Lily to stay in bed just a while longer.

With an audible sigh Lily forced herself out of bed, her feet padding softly against the carpeted floor. She crept across the room and peeked out into the empty hall before stepping out of her temporary bedroom.

"Morning, Lil."

Alice, still in her pale blue nightdress, yawned hugely as she put the kettle on for tea. Her dark hair was wild from sleep, her cheeks flushed with it.

Lily immediately felt a stab of guilt. "Did I wake you when I used the toilet earlier?"

Alice shook her head, leaning against the counter with a grimace. "No, unfortunately Frank has his Auror training today. He was up at five and out the door by five thirty."

"That's ghastly." Lily dropped into a chair at the battered kitchen table that the Longbottom's had salvaged from the local charity shop where Alice worked. "How often does he have to go?"

Alice grabbed two steaming cups and carried them over to the kitchen table. Holding back another yawn she sipped her tea before answering Lily. "Four days a week. On Friday's he goes in later for lessons at the Ministry."

Lily noted the signs of exhaustion on her friend's face including the smudges of black beneath her eyes that indicated a lack of sleep. While Frank was completing his Auror training, Alice had put her aspirations on hold to work shifts at the charity shop several blocks over. Whenever she wasn't working there she worked at another shop close to the flat to bring in extra money.

Between two jobs, settling into their flat and spending time with Frank it was no wonder Alice was exhausted.

"You should go back to sleep for awhile, Alice." Lily advised gently. "At least one of us should be in their bed, snuggled under their covers at such an unholy hour."

"I probably will once you take off. What's on the agenda for today?"

"First, I'm stopping off at St. Mungo's for a brief meeting with one of the advisors. After that I'll probably take the time to do a bit of much needed studying." Lily began rubbing her temples as she felt the beginnings of a headache brewing. "Then there is lunch with James at noon, followed by a meeting with the estate agent, Lara the Insufferable. Finally, another meeting at St. Mungo's to discuss the date of my finals. Afterward I will be back here, buried in my studies."

Alice emitted a low whistle, pushing a tin of biscuits across the table and in front of Lily. "You need one of these more than I do. Dealing with Lara the Insufferable will take all the fortification you can get."

Lily groaned as she dropped her head onto the table, biscuits forgotten. "I can't help it, Alice. The woman is so bloody cheerful while she shows us the most ostentatious homes that could fit a family of twenty."

"Not to mention her habit of flirting with James right in front of your face." Alice remarked good naturedly. "You do realize that you will have to get used to all the tactless cows flirting with him. Although after that kiss he laid on you I doubt you have anything to worry about."

Lily finished her tea, quickly washing out the cup before she returned to her temporary bedroom to shower and prepare for the day. "Lara the Insufferable can have him as far as I'm concerned. At least then she'd have to be the one to meet Charlus and Dorea Potter and not me."

**~1~**

More than six hours after her conversation with Alice, Lily was seated at a table in the the Corner Café nursing a full blown headache and waiting for her fiancé to arrive.

The summer sunshine was nearly blinding and the quiet sounds of people chattering around her were enough to turn the pain in her head into something closer to a migraine.

The headache had started after the meeting with her advisor and felt as if it was getting worse by the minute.

Lily had apparated to St. Mungo's where she was greeted by a stern older Healer who displayed all the warmth of a poked Hippogriff. Healer Frederick Mathews had ushered Lily into his office which turned out to be a windowless space the size of a broom closet, dark and dank and completely lacking any cheer.

The balding man had spread out Lily's file with a foreboding frown before dissecting it with a critical eye. With no preamble or pause Healer Mathews proceeded to _strongly encourage _Lily to drop out of the accelerated course she had been enrolled in so she could spend less time on her studies and concentrate fully on family life.

Lily had stared disbelievingly at the older man, hoping that she had misheard him. "I'm sorry, Healer Mathews, I'm not sure I understand what exactly my family life has to do with my courses."

Healer Mathews had taken pause, regarding Lily for several beats of silence before leaning back in his chair and speaking frankly. "Miss Evans, I am aware that you fall under the age group affected by the marriage law. This summer you will be focusing on wedding gowns and baby prams not worrying over your final examination. You may have been the brightest witch at Hogwarts but I can assure you that your finals will demand study time that you won't possibly be able to put in."

Sitting across from the rotund Healer Mathew's, Lily had felt her hands clench into fists. She had a satisfying, if brief, mental image of hurling herself over his desk and strangling the man with her bare hands.

Fortunately common sense prevailed and she had managed to keep from inflicting bodily harm on the man.

Lily had straightened her spine and tilted her chin, meeting Healer Mathew's direct gaze with a steely look in her green eyes. "I can assure you, sir, that my studies will be receiving all of my attention. My husband won't be getting in the way of that."

Lily had witnessed the flash of surprise on Healer Mathew's fleshy face before it transformed into one of condescension. "You should know, Miss Evans that I am writing my recommendation in your file for future advisors to see, should you fail your finals and attempt to re-enter the program."

Lily had stood, offering her hand to the Healer with a deceptively serene smile. "You do that, sir. I look forward to working with you."

Now, Lily replayed the Healer's harshly delivered words in her mind. She closed her eyes, remembering the look of disdain he had worn after she had declared that nothing would get in the way of her and her fledgling career.

Lily had meant what she said to the obnoxious Mathews. Her career as a Healer had always been at the forefront of her mind throughout Hogwarts. It was the reason she was taking the advanced course offered through St. Mungo's. She had been on the fast track since first year, always vowing to herself that nothing would get in the way of her goals.

As Lily sat sipping tea in the practically empty café she wondered about her priorities. Would she be able to concentrate fully on her finals when she was moving into a new house and preparing to begin a new and very frightening phase of her life?

Lily wasn't sure.

Her own self doubt worried her, but there was no denying the thoughts that kept her awake at night, staring unhappily at the cracks in the flats ceiling. Her thoughts raced as she considered the wedding she was supposed to be planning, the marriage that would most likely be a complete disaster, and undertaking a career that put the lives of witches and wizard's in her young hands.

At the front of the café several copper bells chimed lightly as the front door was opened. Lily glanced up at the sound and caught sight of James entering the café, his eyes settling on her as he spotted her almost instantly.

They hadn't seen one another since graduation. The last time she saw him he was at King's Cross where they had exchanged information and parted ways rather quickly. All things considered, they were on good terms. Even though they had been in constant communication since graduation, there owls included nothing personal, focusing entirely on preparing for their nuptials.

As James drew closer, Lily experienced a myriad of emotions.

She was glad to see him again. That much she knew thanks to the nervous flutter in the pit of her stomach. After the mind altering kiss they shared in the corridor, it was no wonder she was feeling a mix of attraction and trepidation.

When she was around him it made their situation real and impossible to ignore. As soon as she caught sight of him the million things that were bothering her came to mind.

_It isn't every day that a woman finds herself engaged to a man she is attracted to but doesn't love and has no intention of marrying_, Lily reminded herself. _You wouldn't be human if you felt anything other than bloody confused._

Contemplating the jumble of feelings she had about being near James Potter was something that could be saved for later when she had more sleep and wasn't battling a raging headache.

When he reached her, James leaned in and placed a brief kiss on Lily's cheek. "How have you been, Lily?"

Lily dropped back into her chair, taking a fortifying sip of tea before she spoke. "I've been busy with my lessons. What about you? How have things been since graduation?"

Catching sight of the waitress James ordered a cup of tea before turning back to Lily with an impatient look. "Things have been fine. Have you eaten already? There's a house I'd like to show you, the sooner the better-"

Lily's stomach rebelled at the thought of food. "I've already had something." She lied. "Do we have to see the house right this second?"

James accepted his tea from the waitress and drank the scalding liquid down quickly. "I think it would be best if we did."

Lily pushed her tea cup aside, wishing desperately for a hot bath and a warm bed instead of another house in another overpriced neighborhood. "Right, where to?"

James dumped a handful of coins on the table and offered his arm to Lily. "It's in Godric's Hollow. Lara is meeting us there."

_Perfect_, Lily thought dryly as they stepped out of the café and into the overwhelming sunshine.

** ~2~**

"…you'll see it once we make our way into the dining room. Also, the garden is quite large, perfect for a young family." Lara slid Lily and James an appraising look. "Especially if they plan on adding several small additions to their family unit..?"

James mostly ignored the not so subtle question. Lily looked ready to throttle the nosy witch so James took the precaution of draping his arm lightly over the tensed shoulders of his wife-to-be. Lily glanced at him sharply and James smiled blandly with a shrug that said, 'Estate agents? What can you do?'

Lily grimaced and turned her attention to the modest two story home they stood in front of. James watched for her reaction as she studied the freshly painted exterior.

It was a charming home, not small by any means but not oversized for a young couple. The neighborhood was obviously the perfect place for a family as Lara had eloquently pointed out. Several houses away children played on a freshly cut lawn in their nappies, their laughter and happy yelping carrying over to where James and Lily stood.

James kept his thoughts to himself as Lily took in the area. "I'm sure it's perfectly nice, Lara."

When James spoke Lily quickly glanced away from the playing children, her expression unreadable as she glanced back at the house.

The estate agent beamed at the young couple as she unlocked the front door and opened it with a flourish. "It's a gem, really. Godric's Hollow is the perfect area for a young couple-"

"Thank you for taking the time to meet us at such short notice." Lily said with a sweetness that didn't fool James. "But do you think it would be okay if James and I toured it on our own?

"Good heavens, of course. How silly of me. Take your time and look around, dears." Lara pocketed the house key and stepped back onto the front porch to allow James and Lily to enter. "Let me know what you think."

"We will. Thanks." James shut the front door as Lara stood beaming at them, no doubt considering her commission for the sale.

James heard Lily sigh, an enormous sound of relief that they had been gifted with several minutes of blessed silence.

James placed his hands in his pockets as he watched for Lily's reaction to the home. "What do you think so far?"

Lily shrugged as she tucked a flyaway strand of scarlet hair behind her ear. "I like the neighborhood. The exterior is cute."

James followed behind her, allowing Lily to wander through a cozy family room and into a spacious kitchen and dining area.

"Lara the Insufferable said the flooring is original to the house." Lily mused quietly. "I like the wood. The paint colour, on the other hand, should be changed as soon as possible."

"What, no red dining room?" James teased.

Lily shook her head as she trailed her hands over a dining room table that appeared to be battered in a stylish, purposeful way that made it look antique and shabby chic. "I think I'd lose my appetite staring at that awful colour."

James motioned for her to continue the tour. "No red walls, duly noted."

They poked their heads into the downstairs loo and found it unremarkable but tidy before continuing upstairs. They lingered in the two spare bedrooms before stepping into the master bedroom at the end of the hall.

"It's spacious." James said for lack of anything better to say.

Lily nodded her head distractedly. Her eyes went from the massive bed covered in fine silk bedding to the bookshelves and the intimate sitting area on the other side of the room.

James noticed her discomfort as she put as much distance between them as possible; glancing at the master bath and moving to examine the bookshelves whenever James tried moving closer.

"What do you think?" He stood in the doorway of the bedroom, resigned to Lily's skittishness.

"I like the layout." Lily remarked with a thoughtful expression. "The paint is horrendous and the kitchen needs work but I think Lara might be onto something."

James considered her words before continuing. "Good. So, you don't think it's awful, or anything? Red walls and all?"

"No, I told you I like it. Why?" Lily's eyes narrowed. "What do you think?"

Losing his nerve, James went with the gesture of helpless men everywhere and shrugged. "I can't really give my verdict until I've seen the garden."

"That's fair enough."

Lucky for James, the garden turned out to be one of the selling points of the home. As soon as they stepped outside, Lily stopped in her tracks and gaped.

James felt a small amount of relief as Lily took in the lush beauty of the blooming flowers and grinned at the sprawling play area set up for a small child.

"It even has a tree fort." Lily murmured. "A tree fort and a play area built like a castle."

"There's plenty of space out here, too. We could get a dog or something. That sounds pretty domestic to me. Do you like dogs, Evans?"

"I do. I used to be okay with cats too until my sister took in Demon. I was terrified of him as a child."

"Demon?" James intoned disbelievingly.

Lily grinned and rolled her eyes, remembering Petunia's pet from Hade's. "She was a giant ginger cat that liked to sleep under my bed. She'd lunge at me when I'd get out of bed in the morning and claw at my legs."

"That's horrible." James was unable to hold back his laughter as he imagined a small, knobby kneed Evans getting shanghaied by an oversized cat.

"It's funny now but it wasn't quite so humorous when I was six. So, yes, as long as it's a member of the animal kingdom and not a ginger feline, I will probably like it."

Hearing the humor in her voice, James took a leap of faith. There was a chance that Lily would completely lose it on him once she heard what he had to tell her, but it was now or never and he'd been waiting since he first arrived at the café to tell her. At least she was smiling now.

"Lily, I have a bit of news for you."

"That sounds like a prelude to something terrible." Lily groaned. "It's terrible, isn't it?

James decided it was best to hedge around the truth without lying outright. "It isn't terrible as much as surprising. You should know that before I met up with you in the café, I had brunch with my parents."

"Go on." Lily waited for the other metaphorical trainer to drop.

"Much to my surprise, they bought me a sort of graduation gift that I had no idea about."

"James-"

"They bought this place, Lil. My wonderfully overindulgent parents began house hunting in January and picked this place out. It's already been paid off and the deed is in my name. As soon as we're married the house will be in both of our names."

James fell silent having used all his oxygen supply and then some while he blurted the news. He watched Lily carefully, noting the look of disbelief and the way any colour left her cheeks. She gave a cursory glance around the garden before looking down at the grass beneath her feet.

"They bought us a house. Your parents bought a house and put it in both of our names." Lily stated flatly.

"That sums it up quite accurately. And I should mention that they would like to meet you this Friday at dinner." James added the last part in a rush, hoping to soften one shock with another.

To her credit, Lily didn't fly off the handle the way he expected her to. He had adjusted to the news somewhat because he was used to his parents showering him with expensive 'gifts' and generally doting on him as he grew up.

His mother could be overbearing when it came to her only child but James knew that she had bought the house as a special surprise for him and Lily. He knew she meant well and it was that knowledge and years of experience that kept him from being upset with his mum for interfering in his life.

"I know this is a shock. For graduation they bought Sirius a flying motorbike that cost nearly as much as the house did. His eyes nearly crossed when he saw it-"

Still appearing dazed, Lily nodded her head once. "The house hunt is over, I suppose."

"James! Miss Evans!"

James and Lily groaned collectively as Lara came around the side of the house. She was waving frantically as if there were any chance they could ignore her presence.

"I have to go." Lily didn't glance away from Lara as she spoke. "I have other things to do today. Make sure to owl me the time for dinner on Friday."

James sensed Lily's resignation and felt his desperation rise. "Lil, wait. I'm sorry about my parents, that they did this-"

"There isn't much we can do now, is there?" Lily remarked quietly and without any heat. "We'll discuss this later, James. I have a meeting I need to get to."

"Skip it." James knew he was begging and hated it but couldn't seem to stop himself. He gripped Lily's wrist loosely and met her confused gaze. They gazed at one another for a long moment both struggling to ignore the current of electricity that had swept through them at the light contact. "We can ditch Lara the Insufferable and grab a proper lunch, talk about this. I can go back to my parents and tell them that we've decided to sell this place."

"I'm not going to skip my meeting. I have to see an advisor about my finals." James could practically see Lily struggle with her temper. She opened her mouth but paused before speaking again. Finally, she tugged her hand from his grip so she could fold her arms across her chest. "This will have to wait; I was supposed to be at St. Mungo's five minutes ago."

Feeling completely pathetic for pleading James took a step away from Lily. He focused on the children's play set so he wouldn't have to meet her emerald gaze. "Fine. I'll owl you."

"I should be back at Alice's later tonight." It sounded as if she was prepared to say more. Instead, she seemed to shake herself as she retreated further from him. "Goodbye, James."

Just as Lara approached a sharp popping noise sounded as Lily disapparated from Godric's Hollow.

"Did you tell her the good news, James?" Lara chirped as she came to stand by his side. She was smiling up at him, a look of calculated interest in her bright eyes.

"Yes, I told her." James smiled charmingly, the estate agent not realizing that the smile didn't reach his hazel eyes. "She was thrilled."

**A/N Things to look forward to: Meeting the in-laws and Marauder interaction. I can hardly wait to write it so I hope you are looking forward to the next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Stag Night Gone Awry **

"I don't have time to be married. I have far too much on my plate to deal with a marriage to a Gryffindor playboy with as much depth as a puddle."  
-Diary of Clover Brighton, July 1977

After the disastrous day, beginning with his parents and ending with the unsettling encounter with Lily, James made it his mission to get completely pissed.

He shucked off his clothes as soon as he returned to his flat and dressed down in a worn pair of trousers and a faded shirt.

He sent owls out to the Marauder's, had a drink to take the edge off his shot nerves and within the hour they were at The Hole in the Wall, their newly designated meeting place for male time.

It was a dive, wonderfully dingy and dark with the regulars seated at the bar and waitresses who flirted and told bawdy jokes. The food was better than decent despite the atmosphere and the drinks were always cold.

It was like a new home away from home.

When James entered a blonde woman at the bar was eyeing him interestedly and Moony and Wormtail were already waiting at a table in the back.

"Evening, gentleman." James greeted. He hailed an overly made up waitress and asked for the strongest thing they had behind the bar. "Padfoot late as always?"

"It seems," Remus began stirring his beverage, nonalcoholic because of the approaching full moon, with a straw. "Padfoot has a meeting with an acquaintance of the female variety that could not be put off."

"He always does." Peter and James clinked glasses in honor of their friend who was off with a bird he wasn't engaged to, indulging in the debauchery of a man without a care in the world.

Remus frowned as he looked between James and Peter who were grinning. "Of course you two would be on board with Sirius' lack of propriety."

James signaled to the waitress for another drink. He could already feel the effects of the first as he gazed at their surroundings with renewed warmth. "What do you mean by that? C'mon Moony, like you haven't indulged in a handful of flings over the years."

"Of course I have but I'm not the one about to be married."

James noted Remus' discreet look in his direction. He took note of it and tucked it away to be worried about later.

"Been waiting long, lads?" Sirius' voice boomed through the pub as he made his way toward his friends.

"Not long at all. I'm only on my second drink." Peter remarked dryly.

Sirius began working on the tie at his throat, loosening it before he unbuttoned the first three buttons of his dress shirt. Grinning delightedly, he pulled out the chair across from Remus and dropped heavily into it. He slouched down in his seat, stretching his long legs in front of him crossed at the ankles, flirting outrageously with the waitress who appeared to take down his order.

"I'll bring that right over, sir." The waitress trilled. She was blushing like mad and stammering as she backed away.

"Thanks, love." Sirius winked before returning his attention to his friends. "Prongs, you have the floor, mate. What prompted this emergency meeting?"

James set aside his second drink and plowed a hand through his hair before speaking. "I need to think about something other than my marriage for a few hours. I've been thinking about nothing else for two months and it's driving me mad."

Sirius accepted his drink from the waitress without really looking at her. Crushed, the girl wandered away with a downtrodden pout that signaled another casualty of the Black charm.

"Am I missing something here..?" Sirius looked between Remus and Peter with a frown. "What is there to be stressed about, James?"

James groaned and dropped his head onto the sticky tabletop. "My parents bought us a bleeding house, Padfoot. Mum handed over the keys like she was doing us a huge favor and I had to go over and give Evan's the news."

James reached for his glass and downed the rest of his drink. He enjoyed the burning sensation in the back of his throat and the fact that it eased away his troubling thoughts was an added bonus. "It's thinking about all the details and planning our future and all that rubbish that's keeping me awake at night."

"How did Lily take the news about the house?" Remus inquired.

"Surprisingly well, all things considered. It helps that she doesn't hate the place but I think she feels awkward about accepting something so large from my parents."

"Pray tell, stag boy, what is the problem with this situation, then? Your parents bought you a house. Fiancé likes said home. Fiancé is amicable to moving into home-"

"It isn't just the house, Padfoot! I feel like I'm doing everything wrong!" James blurted. He looked pained as he signaled for another round of drinks and slumped back in his chair. "Everyone at this table knows I've been fascinated by Evans for ages. Agreed?"

Remus and Peter firmly agreed, looking to Sirius who hadn't said a word.

Sirius produced a small package from his trousers. He shook out a fag and lit it before jamming it between his lips with a grin and speaking around it. "If by fascinated you mean hot and bothered then yes."

James mostly ignored Sirius' words, "Circa age fourteen I would have loved any reason to be around Lily. But the idea of marrying her now and buggering up both our lives is terrifying."

"What makes you so sure you're going to ruin everything?" Remus spoke quietly so his friends had to lean in to hear his words.

"I'd say that a lot of it has to do with my past history with Evans, Moony. Pile on my meddling mum, Lily's career and our tendency to clash whenever possible and I believe this marriage has the capability to be a spectacular failure." James said dryly. He took a long pull of Firewhiskey, felt the liquid settle in his abdomen. He was in the pleasant pre-haze of being completely pissed, at the point where he could forget his troubles and simply enjoy the company of the three people he was closest to.

Sirius stubbed out his fag in a corroded ashtray while his grey eyes settled knowingly on James. "You're giving this too much thought, Prongsie. Why don't you and Evans take up in separate houses? You don't have to live with a bird to be legally married."

Peter scrunched up his face, peering at Sirius with a bewildered expression. "Is that what you and Brighton are doing?"

"We are, as a matter of fact. She's keeping her flat in Hogsmeade and I'm staying in London. We'll be legally married but won't have to put up with one another on a daily basis." Sirius grinned, proud at having come up with such a foolproof plan.

"Marlene wants to stay home while I work. She's rather traditional about that sort of thing." Peter blushed as visions of his gorgeous bride to be flitted through his mind's eye.

"Eh, no more talk about marriage tonight." James groaned. He pushed back from the table and rose. "I think I'll go find the waitress for a basket of chips or something."

"I'll go with you." Remus ignored the questioning looks that Peter and Sirius were giving him. He trailed after James, taking a seat and indicating James should do the same once they reached the bar. "Have a seat, James."

James slid onto the cracked vinyl stool without a word. He was surprised by the severity of Remus' expression and with his friend's silent assessment James suddenly longed for the oblivion of another drink.

The waitress approached and listlessly took their order. Once she shuffled away Remus cleared his throat as he prepared to speak. "James, I'd like you to promise me something."

"Anything." James replied without hesitation. It was an unspoken law among the Marauders, something sacred in their brotherhood that didn't need to be communicated with words.

They would go to the ends of the earth for one another and James wondered briefly what Remus would ask of him, what he was about to ask that was making him look so somber. "What is this about Moony?"

"I would like you to give me your word that you will do everything you can to make your marriage with Lily work." Remus remarked levelly.

James laughed and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Seeing that Remus was serious, his laughter faded and his smile vanished completely. "What do you mean by that, Remus?"

The werewolf grimaced and looked away briefly while he weighed his words. "James, you know that Lily and I were friends during school. Since graduation we've kept in contact and she's let me in on just how nervous she is about your nuptials." Remus exhaled noisily. "I just want to know that you'll at least try to make things work between the two of you. That you won't give up if it gets too difficult."

James wanted to laugh again. Not because he found anything funny about what Remus was saying but because he was so stunned by his mates words. "Where the hell is all this coming from?"

"I told you, Lily and I have been in contact lately. She has expressed some concerns about your marriage and I wanted to make sure you both were on the same page." Remus explained as if it made perfect sense. "She's more afraid than she lets on and I want to be able to reassure her-"

"Give her some friendly reassurance, eh Moony? I'm glad you've been consoling her seeing as she has to suffer through marrying me." James sneered. He looked away from Remus then, choosing to focus on the faded linoleum flooring rather than the flash of hurt he saw Remus try to hide.

James nearly apologized when a thought struck him. It made him feel slightly queasy and forced him to meet Remus' solemn gaze. "Moony, didn't you and Evans date early on?"

Surprised by the change in conversation, Remus nodded slowly. "Yes. We dated briefly in second year, before I befriended you and Padfoot. What does that have to-"

James dropped his head on the counter, feeling sick and cursing himself for never putting things together sooner. He lifted his head and faced Remus, feeling unbearably sober despite the alcohol he had consumed. "Moony, are you in love with her?"

It would explain why Remus was so serious about him treating Lily good once they were married. _It could also be genuine friendly concern_, a part of him pointed out.

James thought of all the times he had seen Lily and Remus together over the years and discounted the logical 'friendly concern' argument. Remus and Lily had spent loads of time together outside classes, especially after the fifth year incident with the greasy git who-shall-remain-nameless when Lily hated the sight of every Marauder except Remus. She had been lonely, James guessed, after losing two of her closest friends, and had turned to Remus for friendship and perhaps something more.

The more James considered it, the more it made sense that Lily would be the type of bird for Moony. They were both so bloody smart, earning top grades and enjoying afternoons in the library at Hogwarts while everyone else preferred to be outdoors and away from their lessons. The fact that she was the only female Remus had ever told about his lycanthropy only confirmed his deepened his suspicions.

James wondered why he had never thought much of it before when it was so urgent now.

After several long beats of astonished silence Remus shook his head with a smile twisting his lips. "I think you've had too much Firewhiskey tonight, James."

James looked away from Remus. He studied the wall with a fixed look of interest, collecting his thoughts before speaking. "You didn't answer my question, Remus."

With no hesitation Remus said, "I am not in love with Lily. We did date briefly in second year but we were twelve, Prongs. It was nothing serious."

James closed his eyes, filled with misery because he didn't believe a word Remus was saying. He swayed unsteadily on the stool before gripping the bar with one hand so he wouldn't topple off. "If you love her you have to tell me. I won't marry her if you do because I'd rather spend the year in Azkaban than do that to you-"

Remus laughed and placed a firm hand on James' shoulder. "You don't know what you're saying, mate. You're completely pissed." Remus accepted a basket of chips from the waitress. He quickly set them on the bar as he helped James off his stool and began leading him back to their table.

"I know I've had a few drinks but I'm serious about this Moony-"

"I know you are." Remus soothed. He caught Sirius' eye as they drew closer and signaled that it was definitely time to leave. "I think it's time to get you back home."

_**~1~**_

_Four days later _

For Lily time seemed to fly past until it was Friday evening and she was dressing for dinner with her future in-laws.

An hour before dinner, Lily came out her bedroom wearing a dress that she had purchased for the occasion with curlers in her red hair and only half of her makeup applied. She stalked into the living room where Alice and Frank were cuddling on the sofa, her expression mutinous.

"I can't do this." She took a seat across from the pair, smoothing her dress jerkily to prevent it from wrinkling.

Alice cocked her head as she studied Lily. She was snuggled up against Frank, resting her head against the expanse of his chest while her fingers toyed idly with the buttons of his shirt. "Of course you can do this. You really don't have a choice."

"Alice," Frank kissed the top of his wife's head tenderly. "Have a little compassion for her. Remember how nervous you were when you met my mum?"

Alice's fingers stilled as she looked up at Frank with a glare. "That was completely different. Your mum is terrifying-"

Lily glanced between the pair as they argued about the frightful, older Mrs. Longbottom. She felt the nervousness deep in the pit of her belly and was finding it difficult to breathe suddenly. "You lot aren't helping! Merlin, what if they hate me? You don't think they are on board with all the pureblood mania, do you?"

"Of course they aren't!" Alice exclaimed. "You don't think James would subject you to this meeting if they were like that, do you?"

Despite Alice's reassurance, Lily still appeared a bit paler than usual. Taking pity on Lily, Frank went out of his way to reassure her about the Potter's. "I've met them once before, Lily. They're perfectly friendly and I'm sure they'll like you."

"Go on and finish getting ready, Lil." Alice gently prodded her friend. "I think you'll make a better impression without the curlers in your hair."

Lily went back to the confines of her makeshift bedroom. She gave herself a small pep talk as she swiped on a dab of lippy and swept blusher over her cheekbones. She evaluated her appearance in the mirror and deemed it perfectly acceptable for an evening with her fiancé and his parents.

Lily was convinced that she was ready for the night until she heard the faint sound of someone knocking on the front door. Her stomach dropped and she seriously considered locking the door and hiding under her bed to avoid leaving with James Potter.

"Lily! James Potter is in our living room!" Alice hollered.

Lily took a fortifying breath before gripping the doorknob with one clammy hand and slowly pushing open the door.

James caught sight of Lily immediately as she stepped out of her bedroom. He was standing just inside the door, chatting with Frank Longbottom and looking devastating in a tailored suit that was at odds with his untamed hair. He looked away from Frank and took in her appearance managing to keep his eyes from straying below her neckline but smiling appreciatively.

"You look good, Lily. Nice, I mean."

Lily managed to shrug as if her stomach wasn't tied up in knots. "You clean up all right, Potter."

James tugged at his lapel while a flush spread across his cheeks. "I do my best, Evans, even if my hair refuses to cooperate."

"I'm sure your parents won't be too shocked by the state of your hair." Lily remarked with a small, nervous smile.

"They shouldn't be. They've had eighteen years to adapt to it."

Lily caught sight of Alice who was watching their exchange with blatant curiosity. Before her friend could offer up any of her commentary, Lily took James' proffered arm and practically dragged him through the front door.

"We should be going. Wouldn't want to be late…"

"We won't wait up!" Alice called before Lily was able to slam the door shut behind her.

_**~2~**_

"Have you been drinking?"

They had apparated just outside of the Potter home and Lily leaned closer to James and sniffed. She smelled his soap and aftershave but beneath that she caught the unmistakable scent of Firewhiskey that her nose had detected as soon as they arrived.

"I had a drink or two before I came over, to steady the nerves and whatnot." James explained.

Lily stopped dead to stare blankly at him. "You needed to calm your _nerves_? James, you don't get to be nervous, here! These are your parents. I'm supposed to be nervous and hyperventilating not you."

"You'll be brilliant, Evans. My parents will love you, my father especially. He's quiet and brilliant and will adore you on sight." James muttered as he approached the door forcing her to follow uncertainly in his wake.

Lily guessed it was the alcohol that made James sound so sure of what he was spouting and if that was the case she decided to be grateful he indulged in a drink or two because she needed all the reassurance she could get.

"Ready?" Without waiting for an answer James pressed the buzzer. An instant later the door was opened by a rotund House Elf that clapped excitedly upon catching sight of James.

"Mr. James has come home! Misses told Daisy he would come to dinner tonight and I is so glad he is here!"

James smiled fondly at the beaming elf and spent a moment speaking to her and admiring the bright yellow ribbon that was perched on her head. The elf became flustered with his praise and ushered them into the foyer to hang their coats.

"Misses is excited to meet Ms. Evans. She is sure Ms. Evans is perfectly lovely and will keep Mr. James in line!"

Lily listened to the elf chatter with half an ear as they were led into the Potter's parlor for drinks before dinner. She studied the antique furniture discreetly while marveling at the sloping ceiling and the plush seating area they were approaching.

The home was grand, spacious and decorated with care. But Lily noticed books stacked on an end table and a pair of knitting needles left on another, giving the home a normalcy that eased her anxiety.

"James and Lily, you've made it! Thank you Daisy, for showing them in." An older woman with still dark hair and a wide smile approached them. To Lily's surprise the woman bypassed her son to draw Lily close for a warm hug. "Welcome to our home, Lily. It is so good to meet you."

"It's good to finally meet you, too." Lily said once Dorea Potter had released her.

"Sirius, would you be a dear and fix these two something to drink? I have to go upstairs so I can fetch Mr. Potter from his study. He's eager to meet you, of course, Lily." Dorea said brightly. She paused to give her son a warm hug and kiss on the cheek before hurrying from the parlor with an energy that belied her age.

Lily felt a tad lightheaded as she turned and caught sight of five all too familiar faces. She didn't know whether she was going to laugh until she cried or pass out on the spot.

Seated in the parlor sat Sirius Black and Clover Brighton, drinks in hand. They occupied the same sofa with as much distance as humanly possible between them. Across from them Remus Lupin was speaking quietly with Peter Pettigrew, their conversation coming to a close as they caught sight of Lily and James.

The most surprising guest turned out to be Marlene McKinnon, the future Mrs. Pettigrew who also happened to be James Potter's ex girlfriend from Fourth Year at Hogwart's. She was regarding Lily coolly as Sirius went off, grinning like mad, to fetch the drinks.

**A/N So, is Remus in love with Lily or was alcohol making James a bit paranoid? That turned out to be an interesting convo between friends that I hadn't planned on. **

**I felt like there was already enough going on without adding dinner with the in-laws to the mix so I left off at a cliffhanger.**

**I really appreciate the substantial reviews- between work and personal drama it is difficult to keep motivated, so please drop me a line, it always makes me smile! **

**3 Love and fluff, JNSG** 3


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Ex's and In-laws **

**A/N Thanks to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter! **

**It really means a lot to me that others care about this story as much as I do! It gives me some much needed motivation. Also, I will tell you now that the Potter's have been altered from what Ms. Rowling probably envisioned, their age and names. But I'm quite happy with their personalities and I hope you are as well! **

_Disclaimer: None of it is mine- except the obviously made up bits, of course_

"The dinner went better than I could have imagined. I was afraid that I would feel stifled and unwelcome but it was the exact opposite. I'm grateful (_if you can believe it_) that the Marauder's were there to keep things lively. I found myself laughing and completely at ease in the Potter home. Sort of a small miracle, all things considered…"  
-Diary of Lily Evans, July 1977

**Where we left off: **

_The most surprising guest turned out to be Marlene McKinnon, the future Mrs. Pettigrew who also happened to be James Potter's ex girlfriend from Fourth Year at Hogwart's. She was regarding Lily coolly as Sirius went off, grinning like mad, to fetch the drinks. _

James followed Sirius out of the room and proceeded to give him a swift kick in the arse once they were out of sight.

"Bollocks!" Sirius yelped and rounded on James while rubbing his smarting bottom. "What was that for?"

"That," James hissed, "was for not mentioning the fact that you lot would be here tonight."

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned his back on James as they approached the well mini bar. They moved in tandem as they prepared drinks, a ritual they had been performing for Dorea since they were could remember. "Don't get your knickers twisted, Prongsie. Dorea made me promise not to say anything."

"Still, a little warning would have been appreciated-"

Sirius handed off a drink to James with a devilish twinkle in his eye. "That would have taken the humor of the entire evening."

James gulped down more than half of his drink, coughing as the scotch settled in the pit of his stomach. "Sometimes," he wheezed, "I really despise you."

Sirius laughed loudly and thumped his breathless cohort soundly on the back, seeming unbothered by James' blunt statement. "Come along, Prongs. We better get back in there before McKinnon pounces on Evans."

**~1~**

After James abandoned her, nearly running after Sirius to get out of the room, Lily decided the safest spot for her to occupy would be between Peter Pettigrew and Remus. She knew Marlene was still glaring daggers at her but she chose to ignore the other woman's frostiness and strike up conversation.

"Well, this is unexpected." Lily wished she had something in her hand so she wouldn't be tempted to twist her fingers in her lap. "Seeing everyone tonight, I mean."

Clover Brighton smoothed a hand over the flawless silky red dress she wore, looking curvaceous and feminine and making Lily self conscious about her own slender body. There was no denying that her former friend looked stunning and at ease while Lily still felt like a bundle of nerves. "No one told you we would be here? I thought Sirius would have."

"No." Lily laughed ruefully. "I'm afraid he didn't."

"You have nothing to be nervous about, Lily." Remus reassured her. "Dorea and Charlus are two of the kindest people I've ever known."

"We used to spend most of our summer's here." Peter added with a fond smile. "It was like a second home."

"Remember the summer before Fifth Year, Dorea hosted the Summer Gala and we tried desperately to keep up with the adults, drinking champagne and staying awake until four in the morning." Marlene's laugh was soft like tinkling china and one hundred times more grating. "James and I went out to the garden so we could watch the sunrise. It was a wonderful night."

Lily met Marlene's icy gaze with her own cool look. The brunette raised one eyebrow, a talent Lily had never mastered, before looking away and catching the eye of Peter Pettigrew with a warmer smile for him.

Clover rattled the ice in her nearly empty glass, drawing Marlene's attention, and took one last sip before asking, "Wasn't it Fifth Year that you and James broke things off?" She set her glass on the coffee table in front of her and cast an innocent look in Marlene's direction. "It is _so lovely _that the pair of you have been able to remain civil with one another."

Marlene's grip tightened noticeably on her drink. "Yes, Fifth Year. It ended quite amicably."

Clover grinned lazily and tilted her head as if studying Marlene. "So it would seem."

A heavy silence fell over the room right as Sirius and James returned with drinks. Lily nearly snatched hers out of James' hand so she could take a generous sip. James didn't comment but sat himself on the arm rest of the sofa so he was beside Lily.

"Have we missed much?" James asked lightly.

"Nothing important." Remus interjected quickly. "Is anyone else in need of another drink?"

**~2~**

Several minutes later, Charlus Potter was ushered into the parlor by Dorea. He greeted the Marauder's and Marlene before his wife introduced him to Clover and Lily who he greeted quietly but with warmth.

Lily shook his hand, put at ease by the kindness she saw in his hazel gaze and the shock of black hair that, while thinning, was so similar to James' own untidy locks. She knew he was a retired Auror, and although he had been retired for several years now he still appeared fit and strong.

Lily was startled suddenly to realize that James with his own rangy build would most likely turn into the spitting image of his father as he aged over the years. It was unnerving to think it about and she couldn't quite help thinking about it every time she looked at Charlus over the course of the evening.

Dorea dominated the conversation through drinks and throughout dinner. She asked Peter about his parents who were travelling in America, Clover about the boutique she had recently opened in Hogsmeade, taking interest in everyone at the table and not just the Marauder's who were so obviously her pride and joy.

They gathered around the massive dining room table, the Potter's and six other people that had nothing in common but each other.

"James tells me that you are pursuing a career as a Healer." Dorea remarked after the salad had been cleared away.

Lily briefly swiped her lips with her napkin. She looked from James who was lounging in his chair across from her, to Dorea who was smiling compassionately. "Yes, my first examination is in August. I'm very excited to begin working."

"It seems like a very exciting profession. Charlus was an Auror for thirty years, another interesting line of work." Dorea took hold of Charlus' hand, smiling softly at her husband. Charlus acknowledged her words with a nod and gave her hand a surreptitious squeeze that didn't go unnoticed by Lily.

Marlene delicately cleared her throat and tucked her napkin neatly in her lap. "I think it's wonderful that women have begun dabbling in the professional world. But there's still something appealing about someone who stays home to tend to the home and their husband."

Lily was sure her face must have reflected some of her displeasure at Marlene's archaic words. She felt her scalp tingle, a sure sign that her temper was taking hold, as she stared at the prim female at the opposite end of the table.

An instant later she felt James' foot gently connect with her leg beneath the table. She glanced at him in surprise and saw that he wasn't looking at her. He was focused on Marlene with a mild expression that bordered on amusement. "Of course women who stay at home deserve recognition. Although, I'm sure Lily would be bored to tears if she attempted it. Maybe I could be a stay at home husband and perfect my laundry folding skills."

Sirius snorted and everyone at the table laughed. "To perfect those folding skills of yours, you would have to do laundry to begin with."

Remus grinned wryly, getting in on taking the piss out of James. "I roomed with him for seven years. The likeliness of him picking up on concept of doing laundry by now is highly unlikely."

"That's enough teasing." Dorea remarked with a laugh. "Leave my poor boy, alone."

James sniffed, mock offended. "Thanks mum." He glared pointedly at his friends. "At least I know someone here appreciates me."

"Of course I do, love." Dorea patted her son's hand lovingly. "Your dear old dad and I still love you, even if you are domestically challenged."

The table dissolved into laughter, even James cracked a smile and shook his head at his mum. Lily grinned into her glass of wine. Suddenly, she felt James' gaze on her and glanced up, her eyes connecting sharply with his across the table.

He grinned mockingly and lifted his glass in a silent toast while conversation went on around them. Still smiling, Lily returned the gesture, sipping her wine while there gazes held over the rim of their glasses.

**~3~**

Dessert turned out to be a sinfully delicious pudding that Lily could have devoured without anyone's help. Instead of being served by a house elf, Dorea presented it herself, beaming with pleasure at having created something that everyone enjoyed with such relish.

More drinks were poured as they lingered over the meal, laughing as the Marauder's regaled everyone with stories from the summer's they spent together at the Potter home. Lily heard stories of enchanted loo's and exploding pudding, found herself laughing at the ridiculous if mostly innocent antics of four thirteen year old boys.

"…was I supposed to know it would backfire?" Sirius scoffed when James accused him of mucking up the perfect prank at one of Dorea's famous seasonal parties. "Wormtail wasn't in place, not that anyone bothered to let me know!"

Peter scowled deeply at Sirius. "That is complete rubbish, mate."

Across from Sirius, his wife-to-be accepted a fag from Remus. She placed it between her perfectly scarlet lips and leaned in with her eyes locked on her fiancé as the werewolf lit it in a characteristic show of geniality.

After a moment she exhaled, letting out a cloud of smoke that blended with that of Charlus' pipe and Sirius' own fag. "I think you owe Peter a thank-you for not being in the proper place. Charming the Minister's chair to shout naughty things about him could have gotten you a ticket to Azkaban Prison."

For a moment Sirius appeared transfixed, unable to do more than merely stare at the woman who was to be his wife. Clover was magnificent, posing casually, fag in hand, her lush body gloriously showcased by a dress that she had designed with her figure in mind.

It was common, Lily knew, for men to fall under Clover's spell even if it wasn't always her intention. She was impressive to behold and Lily was amused to note that Sirius was not immune to her allure.

"I doubt it would have come to that." Sirius finally said dismissively. "The man was drunk off his arse-"

"Ah, yes, he could never really hold his drink." Charlus recalled with a wry smile. "Thankfully, his sense of humour improved dramatically after he tied a few on."

Lily was mesmerized as talk turned to 'the old crowd', including an impressive guest list of those who clamored to attend the lavish parties that the Potter's threw. Charlus and Dorea didn't appear to be name-dropping, merely remembering past dinners that sometimes got out of hand. They mentioned the Minister and his 'beastly nephew' just as flippantly as they discussed the most well known celebrities in the Wizarding and Muggle world as old friends.

By the time she finished her coffee, Lily's head was spinning. Charlus had retired to his study several minutes earlier to finish on some sort of Ministry project for 'an old friend' and the conversation had turned to the Potter's plans to travel more extensively now that Charlus had retired.

Suddenly feeling as though she needed fresh air, Lily asked to be excused from the table. Dorea waved away the formality and Lily pushed away from the table, eager for several minutes of alone time that would allow her to catch her breath.

She stood and heard the scraping of chair legs against the floor as James quickly got to his feet across from her, a gesture that could have come straight out of a Jane Austen novel. It was so out of the blue that for a moment Lily was immobilized, staring with a gobsmacked expression.

"Thanks, I'll, erm, be right back." She muttered and left the room, hoping her cheeks hadn't turned a violent shade of red.

Lily considered taking shelter in the downstairs loo. It was the size of her temporary bedroom at Alice's flat and decorated in a muted blue colour that Lily admired. She poked her head in but moved further down the mostly dark hall. She paused when she reached the end of the hall and noticed an open door that led into a room with floor to ceiling bookshelves.

Transfixed by the sheer size of what appeared to be the Potter library, Lily stumbled into the room with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide, as she took in the sight of what appeared to be thousands of books.

The lighting was dim but she could make out plush chairs and a desk that was cluttered with parchment. The room had a masculine feel to it and even smelled faintly of cologne and pipe tobacco. It was an oddly pleasant combination and she breathed it in, reminded for a moment of her father's study in the Evan's household.

"You're a book lover, aren't you?"

At the sound of the disembodied voice Lily spun around with a gasp. She pressed a hand to her thundering heart as Charlus Potter stepped out of the shadows and into the faint light cast by an antique desk lamp.

"I didn't mean to frighten you." He clasped his hands behind his back and Lily could have sworn his cheeks were reddening with embarrassment. "I was retrieving a novel from my study and heard you come in." He explained, sounding truly remorseful.

"No, I didn't mean to disturb you. I saw all the books and I had to see…" Lily gestured vaguely at the shelves. "It's magnificent. I've never seen such an extensive private collection."

"A good deal of it is left over from my Ministry days." Charlus admitted. He gestured to the shelf behind Lily with a wry smile that only endeared him further to the red head. "But I've also collected my favorite Muggle and Wizard authors. I have a weakness for suspense novels, you see."

Lily grinned as she began scanning the titles. She saw plenty of the suspense novels Charlus said he was so fond of. She also found titles that surprised her; classics by Fitzgerald and Hemingway, poetry by Keats and Milton. There were books on gardening, astrology, and a limited edition of 'Caring for Marvelous Magical Creatures'.

She stumbled across a Jane Austen novel and plucked it off the shelf with a smile.

"You have every genre properly represented, Charlus."

Charlus accepted the book from Lily with a shake of his head and a small smile once he read the title. "I must admit that the Jane Austen belongs to Dorea. I remember Dorea had James read it when he was fourteen." Charlus dropped into a nearby chair and motioned for Lily to join him. "She wanted him to be exposed to it at least. But he was always too full of energy to really sit and enjoy a book."

Lily curled into the plush chair, tucking her legs under her so she was comfortable. Fascinated, she propped her chin in her hand and tilted her head to one side. "How on earth did she manage that?"

"James would move the heavens if his mother asked." Charlus stated simply. "He would do anything she asked, even if that meant subjecting himself to her taste in literature."

"It's hard to believe some people don't enjoy reading. If we would have had a library at my parent's home I probably would have lived in it." Lily admitted. "Instead, I ended up spending my afternoons in the library in town."

"My collection is at your disposal." Charlus said with quiet sincerity.

After knowing Charlus for only several hours she could clearly tell that James had inherited his outgoing personality from Dorea. At dinner he had been charming and warm but Lily could see now that Charlus was at home among the stacks, talking about his love of literature with someone who could relate. "Let's see if we can't find a few for you to take home, shall we?"

It was a book lovers dream come true. It could have been the wine added to her excitement but Lily had to contain a delighted squeal upon hearing Charlus' offer.

"That would be wonderful."

**~4~**

It was over two hours later that James and Lily exited the Potter home, Lily with several books in her possession that Charlus had personally recommended. The sun had set over an hour ago but the heat of the day still lingered in the night air as they stepped out onto the front stoop.

"Ready?" James offered his arm for Lily to take and apparated them away from the Potter's and onto the front walk of Alice's flat.

"You did that remarkably well after having several drinks." Lily remarked as they made their way to the front door. She was still a bit tipsy after the several glasses of wine from dinner and discovered that her arm was still linked with James's once they reached the front door.

She was content, flushed with the success of the dinner and the warmth of the night. Lily knew that part of it had to do with the wine. Not only did she feel unusually warm but James appeared to be surrounded by a soft haze as they stood under the dim glow of the porch light.

James chuckled and jammed his hands deep in his pockets. "I would say that practice makes perfect, but that sounds bad, doesn't it?"

"Yes." Lily laughed and found herself leaning against the door to steady herself. "It makes you sound like somewhat of a lush, Potter."

"Lush?" James scoffed. "I beg to differ, Evans. You seem to be the one who had a little too much of my mother's finest with dinner tonight."

Lily closed her eyes and sighed. She scrubbed a hand lightly over her face and reopened her eyes only to find that James still appeared to be glowing and her legs were still wobbly beneath her. "You're right about that. I should be going in, I have to sleep this wine off or there will be hell to pay tomorrow."

"That sounds like a plan. Can you make it in all right?"

"I can make it in." Lily assured him.

Before he could turn away and disappear into the night Lily leaned forward to press her lips against his in a brief but temptingly soft kiss. She drew back so she could press her hand against his cheek with a drowsy smile. "I had a lovely time. Goodnight, James."

James shook himself out of his startled state before croaking, "Right, goodnight, Evans."

Lily dropped her hand and flashed another uncharacteristically lethargic smile that made James helpless to do anything but grin in response. Lily turned away from her glowing fiancé and pushed open the front door so she could disappear into the safety of Alice's flat.

**A/N Is James glowing because of Lily's alcohol intake or is lurve in the air? =)**

**Secondly, it appears Miss McKinnon is messing with the wrong red head. If Lily wasn't going to take her down Clover was there serving as temporary wingman.**

**Also, who can resist a man who reads Jane Austen for his mum while managing not to be an incurable mama's boy? Honestly? Points for James. **

**Next Chapter- The search for the perfect wedding gown begins! **

**Love and fluff, JNSG**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Cosmic Intervention**

"What is it that we are celebrating with these blasted ceremonies? It amounts to a life of **imprisonment**; being legally **bound** to someone I don't give a toss about. I'll skip the wedding fanfare. I have nothing to celebrate."  
-Diary of Severus Snape, July 1977

The day after the Potter dinner Lily agreed to meet up with Remus in London for a late dinner. They decided to meet in an out of the way pub that was filled with a row of regulars at the bar and only a handful of other patrons throughout.

Lily had only been seated for a few minutes when Remus entered and approached the table. Lily rose and smiled, greeting her thin friend with a warm hug. He seemed to be losing weight rapidly; his clothes hanging off his too-lean frame and making him seem small and feeble.

As they sat she noticed his pale complexion and the deep circles beneath his eyes and felt a stab of worry. Over the years Remus had teased her about her mothering. It was in her nature to help those around her and that included the sometimes obstinate werewolf who seemed determined to care for himself and hated to impose on others.

"I know I look dreadful." Remus remarked once they had ordered and settled back into conversation. He smiled for Lily's benefit as his gaze wandered to the open window. "The full moon is tomorrow and I have been too restless for sleep."

"Have you seen Healer Foster, yet? He's a leading expert in werewolf studies and I'm sure he'd love to speak with you."

"I haven't gotten around to it, Lily." Remus tucked his tongue in cheek before dropping the bombshell. "My new Ministry position is keeping me busy."

Lily leaned forward in her chair with an insuppressible smile that easily could have lit the entire room. She took hold of Remus' hand and gave it a brief squeeze. "You didn't tell me you got the job! Why didn't you mention it last night?"

"I started two days ago." Remus admitted, amused by his friends obvious excitement. "I work in the stacks, mostly, doing research and bookkeeping."

"That's brilliant, Remus." Lily lifted her water glass in a toast. "I'd like to take the time to toast my favorite werewolf and wish you the best at your job. Of course you're brilliant at absolutely everything so you don't really need to rely on luck."

Remus turned a light shade of pink and ducked his head in embarrassment. "Stop it, Evans, your making me blush." When Lily laughed and tapped her glass with his, Remus merely rolled his eyes toward the ceiling before settling back in his chair. "Now it's your turn. Any developments I should know about?"

The waitress arrived with their orders and Lily selected a crisp before answering Remus. "Well, I received an owl from Dorea this afternoon. She wants to take me dress shopping in Hogsmeade tomorrow and I agreed."

"That should be interesting." Remus offered diplomatically.

"It might be nice to have her opinion on my dress. She is a mum, after all."

"I'm sure _your_ mum would be happy to help you with your dress." Remus stole a crisp from her plate and sent her a level look.

"We already talked about this, Remus. Involving my family in this would be a disaster and you know it."

"I understand, but before we drop it and never discuss it again I'd like to offer a bit of friendly advice; I think it would be best for you to do what you like and not live your life around what will make Petunia happy."

"She's my sister, Remus. My big sister hates the sight of me and I'd rather not have that hanging over my head while I plan the wedding."

Remus held his hands up in surrender. "It's your decision ultimately. As it happens, your decision is the wrong one but as your friend I'll support you in spite of that."

Lily's mouth fell open in silent outrage and Remus couldn't contain his laughter. Lily's expression of outrage quickly turned calculating as she grabbed a crisp off her plate and launched it across the table at the head of her laughing mate.

"Sod off, Lupin." She muttered before a chuckle of her own escaped and the pair dissolved into helpless laughter.

**~1~**

The next morning Lily rose early to prepare for her day. She got her studying out of the way early in case the dress hunt took longer than planned and spent the rest of the time in anticipation of what was to come.

At one in the afternoon she was standing in front of Honeyduke's where she agreed to meet Dorea Potter. The crowd was thin enough that it was easy to spot the other woman as she approached, looking tidy and put together in a modest summer dress.

"Lily, it's good to see you again." Dorea greeted her daughter-in-law with a warm embrace that was so gentle and motherly that Lily was reminded of her own mum for a moment. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, of course. You said you arranged an appointment?"

"At first I was planning on taking you into one of the more established shops. They have experts on hand to help but lack the warmth we're looking for." Dorea walked briskly as she spoke, looking glorious and in her element while Lily struggled to keep up. "And then I found the Wildflower Boutique. I spoke with Clover and she said that she could fit us in today-"

"Clover?" Lily stumbled over her own feet, her face flaming as Dorea stopped and smiled patiently at the younger woman.

"I thought it would be nice if you worked with someone you knew on your dress, rather than working with complete strangers."

Lily agreed with a bland smile, more certain than ever that the fates were conspiring against her. It felt like another joke in a long line of sick cosmic jokes the universe was dumping on her. First, when she realized the identity of her groom-to-be, and now when her mother-in-law was unknowingly throwing her together with the woman who used to be one of her closest friends at Hogwart's.

From the beginning she should have realized that their friendship was doomed. Throughout her early years at Hogwarts Lily had experienced everything the Wizarding world had to offer with Severus and Clover beside her.

They had been an unlikely trio; Clover with her artistic ability and outward confidence, Severus with his snarky disposition and a chip the size of London on his shoulder, and Lily who had been so eager to explore her new world and loved both her friends with a laughable naïveté.

It had been a nasty shock when things began to change between the three friends, subtly at first until the unforgettable blow up by the lake.

At the start of Fifth Year, Severus had begun avoiding Lily. She had noticed a change in him but brushed it off at first, figuring that he was preoccupied with his courses and things would work them out eventually. They wouldn't speak for days on end and he would even miss class before he re-appeared, unwilling to offer any explanation and looking at her with thinly veiled anger when she tried to question him.

While they drifted, Lily had watched as Clover and Severus grew closer. They spent more time together, heads bent in low conversation that would end abruptly whenever Lily approached.

The friendship had ended abruptly after Lily came to Severus' aid only to have him turn on her and call her a Mudblood for everyone to hear. She had seen a whirlwind of emotion in his eyes as he said the words, effectively turning his back on her and driving a stake through the friendship they had shared.

Not only had she lost one of her oldest friends but Clover had followed Severus that day, leaving Lily behind to wonder why everything had gone so spectacularly wrong.

Lily shook herself mentally, unable to shed the dark mood that now gripped her. It had been ages since Fifth Year and the disaster by the lake, but it still hurt to think about and made her dread the rest of the day.

When they reached the Wildflower Boutique Lily was surprised by the charming, cottage-like exterior. She had expected a grand building, something large and open with bold colors and outrageous dresses.

Instead she stepped into a modest country home with battered wood flooring. The walls were freshly painted in earth tone and the shop was decorated with mismatched antiques that were kept the focus directed on the clothes rather than the décor. Lily caught the glimmer of a tinkling chandelier overhead, the only nod to Clover's love of glamour in a shop that exuded warmth and relaxation.

"Clover, it's lovely to see you again. Thank you for agreeing to see us on such short notice."

Lily was jolted out of her mental funk by the sight of Clover emerging from the back of the store. With minimum makeup and her blonde locks pulled into a simple twist she looked natural and at ease in a flowing gauze skirt and simple tank top.

"I'm glad you owled." Clover hugged Dorea and smiled when her gaze landed on Lily. "I'm honored that you considered me. If you follow me to the fitting area I'd like to show you some dresses I've pulled for Lily."

Less than five minutes later Lily faced her image in a full length mirror, trying to come to grips with the fact that she was really in a wedding gown and not hallucinating from a recent lack of sleep.

"Oh, Lily, you're beautiful." Dorea produced a tissue from her purse and began dabbing discreetly at her eyes.

Lily assessed the image she presented beginning with the creamy white material that hugged her upper body and flared grandly at the waist. It was a traditional wedding gown in every sense with a full lower half and intricate beading and lace that extended to the massive train that ran behind her in a lush river of white.

Lily adjusted the veil that Clover had carefully arranged after pinning back her hair to give the full effect, with a small smile. "It's a lovely dress."

"There are more for you to try if you'd like." Clover helped Lily off the platform in front of the mirror and guided her back to the fitting room. When the door closed behind them Clover rounded on Lily with a serious look. "What do you really think of the dress?"

"It's gorgeous but I can't imagine wearing such an ornate dress." Lily began looking through the dresses on the rack, her expression thoughtful. "I'd like something with less fluff. Something simpler, more form fitting-"

"I have it." Clover snatched another gown off the rack and quickly helped Lily into it. "You'll try this dress on so Dorea can get her fix of fluff and lace but I promise the next dress will blow you both away."

Clover kept her word. For the next ten minutes Dorea dabbed her eyes and gushed over the beaded bodice and the full skirt that completely swallowed Lily's lower half.

Finally, they retreated into the dressing room where Lily removed the offending gown and stepped into what Clover dubbed The Dress.

"What do you think?"

Lily stared into the mirror for the third time. She lifted her hands and smoothed the creamy fabric over her middle.

"I just got it in yesterday. The a-line style is perfect for your body type and the sweetheart neckline is gorgeous." Clover continued on about the brooch detail and the quality of the beaded lace but Lily had tuned out, lost in her own thoughts.

It was nothing like the first two dresses. Where they had hugged her modest chest and flared out this dress hugged her upper body and draped over her lower half in a cascade of white. It was sparsely embellished with crystal beads that glimmered under the shop's lighting and mercifully lacked the billowing bottom that she had grown to despise. Lily turned in front of the mirror watching as the dress shifted with her every movement, subtly outlining the curve of her body beneath the breezy fabric.

It was simple and elegant in an understated way that made Lily fall completely in love with it. It wasn't a traditional wedding gown but beautiful and perfect for her non-traditional summer wedding.

"I think it's the most beautiful dress I have ever seen." Lily admitted around the lump of emotion in her throat. Clover silently placed the veil on Lily's head and took a moment to straighten it and stare at the image reflected back at them.

"You look stunning, Lily, which I think it has more to do with you than the dress."

"I don't think I can take it off." Lily choked on a sob and pressed a hand to her mouth in the hopes of suppressing her suddenly churning emotions. It wasn't like her to go from dizzying joy one moment to complete despair the next.

She despised dithering females and she had known more than a few. The type of women who was prone to fainting spells and crying jags over the silliest things.

But gazing at her reflection she felt a myriad of feelings, beginning with unfathomable wonder and ending with abject misery. The contrast made her feel like an overly hormonal female for the first time in eighteen years and she hated it.

"Do you need a minute?" Clover absorbed the look on Lily's face without directly commenting on it. "I know it's a lot to process."

"No." Lily looked away from the mirror as she brusquely threw open the door leading out into the shop. "Let's just get on with it."

**~2~**

In the end the dress was purchased with the understanding that Lily would stay behind to allow Clover to make the proper adjustments while Dorea moved on to another appointment.

Before she made her departure Dorea drew Lily aside to say goodbye.

"Thank you for letting me be here today, Lily." Dorea's laugh was watery and she produced another tissue to mop up the last of her tears. "I didn't count on getting so emotional."

"I didn't either." Lily admitted. On impulse she reached for the older woman, hugging her tightly and thinking of her own mum's smiling face. "I appreciate your help, Dorea."

Dorea gaze her arm a final squeeze before calling out another goodbye to Clover and exiting the shop with the bells jingling at the store entrance.

"Would you like tea before I get started?"

"No, thank you. I think it would be best if we finished up here."

For the next few minutes Lily stood patiently while Clover waved her wand over the waist and bust, getting the proper measurements for the alterations. Lily was perfectly content to gaze at her likeness incredulously, boggled by the fact that she had found her dress, but Clover seemed determined to make conversation.

"Lily, are you sure this is the dress?"

"Of course I'm sure. I love it."

Clover set aside her wand and after a beat of hesitation touched Lily's arm softly. "Then why are you crying?"

Lily lifted both her hands to swipe away the moisture on her cheeks. She sniffed once and straightened her spine with determination. "I haven't the slightest idea." She rolled her eyes toward the ceiling with an unsteady laugh. "It's ridiculous, crying over a bloody dress."

Clover stared at Lily with an unreadable expression before sighing. "I know what it's like, Lily. I've known which dress I'd wear to my wedding since I was eight years old." Clover laughed as she ambled over to a cupboard behind her desk. She returned with a tin of biscuits in hand. "It's the groom I'm not sure of at this point."

Clover offered Lily a biscuit before selecting one and nibbling on it. "I designed my gown knowing that there was a good chance that I'd never actually walk down the aisle. I used to dream up what I'd wear and what my bouquet would be made of. It's frightening to be surer of the dress than the person you're marrying. It scares me to death."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Lily said flatly. The bite of biscuit turned sour in her stomach and she suddenly felt ill so she pitched it in the bin at her feet. "I'm sorry but I can't stay. I have somewhere to be."

Clover nodded as if she understood which only infuriated Lily more. "That's fine. If you'd like you can stop in next week and we can do another fitting."

"I'll have to see if I can make time." Lily changed out of the dress in record time. She felt the wetness on her cheeks as she slid back into her trousers and it only served to annoy her that she couldn't get a grip on herself. She exited the dressing room and flashed Clover and unconvincing smile before ducking her head and making a beeline for the exit. "Thanks for your help."

**~3~**

"All right mate?"

The morning after her unsettling dress experience, Lily was jolted out of sleep by Alice. The pixie burst into Lily's makeshift bedroom, flinging open the curtains and letting in the full sun of the morning, cheerily and without apology.

Lily slapped her hands over her red rimmed eyes in response and tried to pull the covers over her head in vain. She had spent most of the night tossing in her bed, unable to forget the mix of misery and elation that swamped her the rest of the day. Once she left the shop, she could have gotten a million different chores out of the way.

Instead, she had returned to the safety of Alice's flat where she changed into an especially ratty pair of pyjamas, curled up with a cup of tea and contemplated how her life was beginning to shape up. Overall it had been the most unproductive afternoon of her life and a thoroughly depressing way to waste an afternoon.

"Cor, Alice, my eyes are bleeding!"

Alice plopped on the edge of the bed and sighed. "They are not! I would have let you sleep the day away but you have mail."

Lily whimpered and burrowed further into the dark recessed of her tangled blankets. "I'll look it over later."

Alice brandished an envelope, dangling it just out of Lily's reach. Lily almost ignored it, tempted to roll over in the hopes that Alice would take the hint and clear off, until she noticed the broken seal over the flap. "You opened my mail? Really, Alice, boundaries?"

Alice shrugged, playing the innocent unconvincingly. "I didn't open anything. The seal was broken and the letter sort of fell out and what could I do? I had to pick it up and-"

For the first time that morning Lily laughed. Resigned to the fact that she was up for the day with no hope of going back to bed she threw off the covers and snatched the letter from Alice's hand. "Who is it from?"

Alice bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. "It's from one James Potter. He wants to stop by after some meeting this morning. He also wanted to thank you for your '_entertaining_ send off' the other night." Alice waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Care to elaborate?"

"No." Lily said flatly. She normally didn't shy away from sharing every small detail of her life with Alice, but remembering the goodnight kiss after the Potter dinner, she suddenly wasn't so eager to share.

It felt private now. A rare moment where she had been completely at ease with James Potter, something she needed to mull over and keep to herself. "Merlin, a girl gets engaged to a Potter and she can forget about sleep. What time is it?"

"It's half past seven." Alice said gleefully. Lily yelped and scurried out of bed, snatching her bathrobe as she darted into the loo. "You'll have to hurry if you want to be ready by eight!"

Lily had just slammed the door shut behind her when an ominous knock sounded at the front door.

**~4~**

For a full minute Lily stood in front of the mirror, silent and listening as James spoke to Alice in the kitchen. She briefly considered showering and going through her hair and makeup routine. It wouldn't take long to clean up, maybe apply a dab of lippy and do something with her hair.

On the other hand, if she was expected to be Mrs. Potter for the next seventy odd years, James would be seeing her in various states of dress. He would see her in the morning when her hair was matted and her cheek was creased from sleeping on her pillow, afternoons when she was wearing her comfy trousers and no makeup, and evenings when any trace of makeup had been sweated off and she didn't feel like bothering with her hair.

It was, she decided, a precedent that should be set early on in their marriage. If she was going to be married off the least she could do was be comfortable around her husband. She wasn't the type to fuss over her appearance constantly and it would be better to be up front about such things from the beginning.

Lily scooped her hair into a ponytail and scrubbed her face at the sink. She brushed her teeth as a courtesy and padded out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where Alice was making coffee and keeping James distracted with idle chatter.

"…would love to see you. He's been so busy with training, only a day or two off during the week." Alice appeared troubled for a moment but she remained in motion, pouring two cups of steaming coffee and tending to the breakfast that she had fixed in record time

A telling crease had appeared between her eyebrows but it vanished when she caught sight of Lily lurking in the doorway. "You're just in time for breakfast. I would join the pair of you but I have work in a few minutes. Ta!"

The door slammed shut as Alice left in a whirlwind of pint-sized energy leaving Lily alone to absorb and process the sight of James Potter in her kitchen and in a suit. He looked far too put together for such an early hour and it only irritated Lily further. It was unfair for him to look refreshed with the secretive half smile that was constantly throwing her off balance while she was running on fumes after the previous day's emotional wringer.

James set aside his coffee mug and attempted to smother a grin as Lily folded her arms across her chest with a telling frown. "Did I wake you?"

"As a matter of fact you did." Lily sighed and slid into the chair opposite James. "I have to tell you, I feel underdressed. Do you normally wear a suit to breakfast? If so we are going to have to correct that habit now."

"No, breakfast attire is usually boxers and whatever clean shirt is lying around at home." James nudged the plate of Alice's breakfast toward Lily with a small grin. The grin combined with an image of a sleepy James in his boxers was wreaking havoc with her imagination which managed to startle Lily into feeling slightly more awake.

Lily pushed that mental image out of her mind and focused instead on what he was saying as well as the steaming plate of food in front of her. "I just came from a meeting and didn't have time to change."

"Who schedules meetings this early?" Lily grumbled as she stabbed at the eggs on her plate. "It's completely ludicrous."

James consciously withheld any comment on Lily's mutterings and the pair tucked into their breakfast, lapsing into an easy silence. After most of the contents of their plate had been cleared James retrieved the platter off the stove to refill their plates. Lily moved around him and brought the coffee pot back to the table with her.

She topped off both their cups and settled back into her chair while cradling the steaming cup in both her hands. "I really did have a good time the other night. Your parents made everything feel oddly normal."

"You should know that my mum completely adores you." James added more eggs to the pile of his plate and began eating with enthusiasm. "She wrote me to let me know how the dress expedition went. She also mentioned how wonderful you are and that I better not muck things up."

Lily swallowed her sip of coffee before choking out a laugh. "She did not say that!"

"Of course she did." At Lily's look of disbelief James rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "She's a mum, Evans. She's been dreaming of a daughter-in-law to coo over since I hit puberty."

"I knew I liked her for a reason." Lily finished off her coffee and managed to plow through half of what James had placed on her plate over the course of their conversation. When she was finished she sat back in her chair with a contented smile. "Now I feel human again. That was the breakfast of miracles."

"Agreed." James pushed away his plate and mirrored her relaxed position. "Speaking of in-laws, when am I meeting the Evans clan?"

Lily stilled imperceptibly, her posture no longer relaxed in the face of the unforeseen complication. "You'll meet them eventually. Later, I suppose."

James hadn't picked up on her sudden change in mood. He leaned forward, a hint of mischief twisting his lips into a smirk. "Come on, Evans. Turnabout is fair play. I subjected you to a night of my family, which includes the Marauder's no less, so it's only fair you do the same."

Lily wrapped her arms around her middle so she was folded in on herself before shaking her head. She avoided her eyes so she saw the cracked edge of her plate instead of James' troubled expression. "You'll meet them after the wedding, James."

"After?" His expression morphed into one of utter confusion. "Wait, they won't be at the wedding?"

"No," Lily said quickly, "They won't be able to make it."

Uncomfortable with James' silent scrutiny, Lily cleared her throat and pasted on a brilliant smile. "What was it you wanted to discuss this morning? You had something you wanted to talk about?"

"Yeah, I did." James tucked away his questions about Lily's family for later and straightened, thinking about his own news. "I had a meeting this morning with Dorian Keller." He received no response and couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. "You don't know who Dorian Keller is, do you?"

"I haven't the slightest idea." Lily admitted. "Enlighten me."

"Dorian Keller was recently named Captain of the Chudley Cannons. They're in need of a new Chaser and want to sign me for the position."

Lily's mouth fell open. "You're being drafted into the league? James, I had no idea you were considering professional Quidditch."

"I wanted to keep it quiet until I looked over my offers." James admitted. "I already spoke with the managers of the Ballycastle Bats and a handful of others but I'm really considering the Canons."

Lily tilted her head to one side, considering. "Didn't the Canons change their slogan to 'Let's just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best'?"

"Yeah," James grinned and plowed his fingers through his hair. "They've had a bit of bad luck for the past few seasons but they've signed loads of new talent this year."

"So, you're telling me that the Cannons are awful but you think they will improve and you want in?" Lily asked slowly, as if piecing James' thought process together.

"That's pretty much it, yeah. I've had offers from better teams but I don't want to start out on a great team. I want to work my way up and I think I can do that with the Canons."

Lily shook her head and leaned closer to James across the table. "Did you sign a contract?"

"No, I told them I would owl later with my decision. I wanted to talk to you about it first."

"What's to talk about?" Lily asked gently. "You want to do it and it sounds like they really want you. You should sign with them if it's what you want."

"It is what I want. I want to play because I love the game. But there's a lot of travel involved with publicity for the team and games out of the country and early morning practices. It's a lot to undertake and I need you to be okay with it."

Lily pondered his words and gave pause before speaking. "I've been properly warned about the insane schedule and you have to go for it. You'd be insane not to."

"Brilliant." James jumped out of his seat looking every inch the boy who had just been visited by Father Christmas. He hauled Lily out of her chair with a whoop and drew her into a bone crushing hug that nearly squeezed the breath from her lungs. "I'm going to do it. I have to get home so I can owl Dorian."

James released Lily to press a quick kiss to her cheek. "Give Alice my thanks for breakfast. I have to go but I'll owl you later."

"All right." Lily ducked her head and smoothed a hand over her wrinkled pyjamas. James was halfway through the door when she called out, "Congratulations Potter."

James skidded clumsily to a stop and had to grip the door to keep from tripping over his own feet. "Thank you, Evans. I'll talk to you tonight."

The door closed with a bang, shutting where James Potter's grinning face had been only a moment before.

**A/N If you'd like to see the dress that inspired Lily's gown feel free to check it out at my profile! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: I Do, Don't I? **

**Disclaimer: None of J.K. Rowling's recognizable creations belong to me. I can only claim the extras. The rest is hers. **

"_She made a beautiful bride. Composed and elegant. The dress was gorgeous, to be sure, but everyone seemed to focus on the bride's face. She was so calm and smiling the whole walk down the aisle…"_

_-Information provided by an anonymous source regarding the wedding of Lily Evans Potter  
Article from The Daily Prophet, August 1977_

The man charged with the task of walking Lily Evans down the aisle was missing on the afternoon of the Potter-Evans wedding.

James was busy pacing in his father's study, tugging irritably at his collar every few seconds and muttering as he stalked from one end of the room to the other to notice the absence right away. Sirius assumed that Lily had no idea about the man's absence as she was on the other side of the Potter home, being fussed over and treated like a queen to ease her nerves on the big day.

The only person actively aware of the werewolf's absence was Sirius Black. And as best man to the pacing James Potter, it was his duty to track down Remus Lupin as quickly and efficiently as possible.

When he had the chance, Sirius pulled Peter aside, not telling him where or why he was leaving, only that he had to leave and would be back in plenty of time for the ceremony. It would be left to Peter to distract James at all costs and keep him from realizing two of his mates were missing an hour before his trip down the aisle.

Sirius tugged his wand in his robes and surreptitiously made his way out of the study without James realizing it. He mostly ignored the work of the wedding planner and the Auror's milling around to chase off any uninvited guests. He waited until he had a shred of privacy before leaving the home with only a small "pop" signaling his departure.

When Sirius arrived at his destination, he was so stunned by the sight that greeted him that he was forced to take a moment to adjust to what he was seeing.

Most of the flat was closed off from the world. Stained curtains were drawn tightly to prevent any natural light from entering the room but with what little light there was, he could just make out Remus' form sprawled on the lumpy living room sofa.

"Remus, are you dead?"

"Go away, Sirius."

"Because, if you were dead I would understand why you aren't at the Potter's right now."

"I'm not going." Remus rolled over, clutching an empty bottle in one arm and wincing when Sirius strode over to the window and tore at the curtains until the room was filled with light.

"You have ten minutes. You smell awful so you'll need to shower and shave that rubbish off your face." Sirius turned back to Remus, all business. "Get up."

"No."

"Remus-"

"I'm not bloody going, Sirius! You get Lily down the aisle and leave me alone."

The two friends stared at one another for several moments. The air was charged with what lay unsaid between them and Remus was surprised when Sirius left the room without a word. Remus lay back against the couch and closed his eyes against the raw, sick feeling in his throat while hoping desperately that Sirius would return to the Potter's wedding and leave him in peace without another word.

It was a surprise when Remus tumbled off the couch and onto the floor, crying out as the room spun around him and bile rose in his throat. Before he could even consider the possibility of being sick all over the floor, he was being dragged by a determined set of arms in the direction of the loo.

"What the sodding hell are you trying to do, kill me?" Remus began thrashing and continued to spit more obscenities as Sirius hauled him into the bathroom where the shower head was already spitting out warm water.

"Get in the fucking bath or I'll pull you in there myself."

"Bugger off."

"Fine. We'll do it the hard way."

Sirius removed his suit jacket as a precaution but wasted no time in throwing open the shower curtain and lifting Remus into the water by force. Considering how feeble and hungover he appeared, it came as a shock when Remus got to his feet and hauled back, throwing a nasty punch that connected perfectly with Sirius's nose.

Despite the numbing pain, Sirius held out one arm and pressed it against Remus' chest with all his weight so Remus couldn't escape the confines of the shower.

"Grab the bloody soap and start washing up or I swear I'm coming in after you. I'm not leaving, moony. I'm not going anywhere unless you're coming with me so get on with it."

"Padfoot," Remus closed his eyes as water dribbled ineffectively off his chin and down the front of his sweater, "I can't do this. Please-"

"You're not missing the wedding. I'll tell you what's going to happen," Sirius eased his hold ever so slightly and spoke with a firm but understanding resolution, "You're going to get cleaned up and dressed. Once the sober up potion begins to work and you stop feeling like shite, we're going to floo to the Potter's."

Remus began nodding his head, staring off somewhere else with a rather vacant expression while water streamed uselessly over his clothes.

"You're going to escort Evans down the aisle and get pissed at the reception."

"That's how it's going to go?" Remus asked with a small smile that made Sirius laugh.

"Yes. I would give you a more in-depth itinerary for the rest of your day, but we don't have time. Get on with it."

"Right."

Sirius stepped out of the shower, gingerly prodding his nose to make sure it was still in the center of his face, and picked up his jacket on the way out.

"Padfoot?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for assaulting me."

"Stop being a tosser. We have a wedding to get to."

Lily made the decision to run when Alice decided to track down Mrs. Potter to discuss the press swarming the front of the home. Ever since James signed with the Canons, the papers had been going wild for James and by extension, Lily. The Prophet was especially desperate to get an exclusive with the couple. The Wizarding world was clamoring for stories concerning the young couples dealing with the recent marriage law and James Potter's story was a reporters dream.

Lily wanted nothing to do with the dream. She didn't care about the Potter wealth, or all the attention that was placed on James' looks and athletic career. She had her own career to think about. Her healing exam was quickly approaching which meant that she had enough on her plate without the circus surrounding James.

With the implications of her nuptials sliding neatly into place in her mind, Lily gathered the bottom of her dress, walking quickly but carefully to avoid tripping herself up, and rushed out of the room where she was waiting for the ceremony to begin. The hall was empty and smelled strongly of the flowers that had been tastefully arranged throughout the home in preparation for the reception. Lily cautiously peered out from the door to make sure she was alone before stepping out into the hall and closing the door behind her with a soft click.

"Where are you off to, all dressed up?"

Panicked, Lily whirled on Remus who was coming up the stairs with a crooked smile as he witnessed the bride in stealth mode. Lily felt a small stab of comfort at the sight of Remus but it quickly vanished when she noted the immaculate suit that was being worn specifically for her wedding.

"You never saw me. Tell the others you never saw me and I'll be gone before anyone realizes it." Lily pleaded, knowing that it was a lost cause. There was very little chance that Remus would step aside and allow her to bolt, leaving James at the altar to face the entire Wizarding world and the bloodthirsty press.

"Do you mind if we discuss this in your hen's room?" Remus suggested. "All the flowers are doing awful things to my sinuses."

Lily allowed Remus to gently touch her elbow, guiding her back into the room where she had been getting ready and planning her escape. As the door shut behind them, Lily wandered over to the window to stare out at the people who were filling the garden. The scent of the flowers was nauseating and inescapable when she so longed to get away.

"I'm not doing this. It's not that I can't," Lily continued as she faced Remus calmly, "I just won't. I have too much else, Remus, to do this."

Remus regarded her thoughtfully, nodding as he dropped into a chair in front of the mirror where Lily's makeup had been painstakingly applied. She was so unflappable under pressure. Lily was thinking, yes, but she wasn't panicking or working herself into a frenzy of anxiety. He looked at her, lovely in the dress that Clover had supplied, and so determined to stick to her own path

"I didn't tell you in the hall, but you look wonderful. It's a shame no one else will see."

Lily looked back out at the garden, too furious to actually look at her friend. "This isn't a joke! I'm telling you I won't marry your best friend and you make jokes?"

"I wasn't joking." Remus crossed to the window so he was standing shoulder to shoulder with the bride. Without hesitation, Lily dropped her head onto Remus' shoulder. He let her have her silence, deciding it was up to her to articulate what exactly was weighing the most on her mind.

"I have plans."

When she didn't continue, Remus nudged her with his shoulder until her laugh filled the room. "I need to be preparing for my healer exam. Instead, I'm parading around in this ridiculous dress, preparing for a ridiculous marriage."

"You don't really think being married will stop you from doing what you like, do you?" At Lily's uncertain look, Remus chuckled and shook his head. "Lily, this marriage is far from ideal but there is no way it's going to derail you from what you want. You're too determined to even think that way."

"Easy for you to say, you're exempt from all of this." Lily dug her fingers into his side and grinned when he swatted her away. "You don't have to give a huge part of your life to someone you haven't chosen."

"Howling at the moon once a month finally has its perks."

They lapsed into silence once again. Lily carefully avoided looking out at the garden and focused her attention, instead, on the shine on the dress shoes Remus wore.

"I realize that this doesn't entirely help the situation but you should know that James will do his best through all of this. It won't be perfect but he would never intentionally hurt you or keep you from what you want to do."

"You have to say that," Lily teased, "He's one of your closest friends."

Remus appeared thoughtful. "I wouldn't say it if there was the slightest chance I thought being together would harm you. If that were the case, I would have helped you when you were running out of here."

Hearing his words, Lily felt a swell of gratitude and love clog her throat. Before she could respond properly, the door opened and Alice poked her head in with an encouraging smile.

"Everything's set. Are you ready to start down?"

Remus held his arm out and Lily glanced at it briefly before tucking her hand into the crook.

"I'm ready."

"What if she ditches?"

Standing in front of well over two hundred guests in the garden of his childhood home, James looked at Sirius as if he had sprouted a second head.

Undaunted, Sirius continued, "Evans is fearless. I reckon she'd do something sneaky like that."

James smiled at the sea of people in front of him, but gave them his back so he could glare at his best man.

"Padfoot, I have something to tell you."

"What's that?"

"You're no longer my best man. As of this moment, your title has been revoked."

"Git."

"Tosser."

"Pra-"

The groom and best man could have continued for the foreseeable future, merrily tossing insults back and forth, if the swell of music hadn't ended their exchange.

"Ready?" Sirius called over the sweet strains of music.

James noted the outrageous glint in Sirius' eye, the extra something that always seemed to appear when they were about to do something potentially foolish. He couldn't help but respond to it in the same manner he had when they were children.

"Always," he called back with an answering grin.

**I realize it has been ages (two whole years!) since I updated last. I apologize for that but I promise you this story has been on my mind and I still have the notes so I can pick up rather smoothly and finish it. Thanks, as always, for reading! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Settling in **

"**I think people confuse a wedding with a marriage. I don't have any experience with that, obviously, but I think it could be a nasty shock going from all that fanfare to everyday life. You have that one day of indulgence but where do you go from there?"**

**-Diary of Remus Lupin, August 1977**

With the wedding formalities over with, Clover stood off to the side in the very back of the room at the reception. She watched as James and Lily went through the motions of their first dance as husband and wife. Their steps were tentative and they appeared oddly mistrustful with the achingly sweet strains of music that filled the room.

The crowd looked on in awe, and Clover couldn't blame them. The bride and groom were unbelievably attractive, bodies seemingly melting together in the soft light of the ballroom. The trepidation Lily and James must have been feeling, the uncertainty was palpable and made it impossible to fully look away.

While Clover could appreciate the beauty of the home and the couple in general, she couldn't help the anger brimming just beneath her cool exterior.

"Need another drink?"

Clover glanced at her husband and the flute of champagne he offered, the corner of her mouth twitching at the sight of his already loosened tie. "Thanks."

Sirius watched Clover down the contents of her glass in one expert sip before passing the glass off to a passing waiter. She caught him staring and shrugged carelessly.

"I don't think I can handle watching this sober."

Interested, Sirius joined her in finishing the contents of his glass before giving Clover his full attention. "Why's that?"

Clover crossed her arms over her ample chest and nodded sharply in the direction of James and Lily who were finishing up their dance. Lily looked a bit shell shocked by the thundering applause that broke out in the room and for his part, James ducked his head and followed her to their table so no one could read his expression.

"Look at this place. It's lovely and I'm sure the Potter's mean well, but you know the only reason anyone accepted their wedding invitation was to say that they were here when the marriage fails."

"How very pessimistic of you."

"There isn't much about this to be optimistic about." Clover shook her head, wishing she had another drink to fill her empty hands.

"Do I have permission to speculate?"

"You have the floor, husband."

"I think," Sirius moved so he was behind Clover, bending to whisper in her ear so the average passerby couldn't overhear their conversation, "you're saying all of this because you're worried about Evans."

"Technically, it's Potter now."

"That's not really an answer, is it?" Clover could practically feel Sirius' grin on the back of her neck. She certainly could feel his hand as it toyed with the fabric of her dress, his fingers edging closer to the zipper.

"What if I am worried?"

"James won't hurt her. He'd cut off his own arm first."

Clover's skin prickled when Sirius dragged the zipper of her dress down ever so slightly. She would have liked to tilt her head to one side to give him better access, to let the zipper continue on its path and see where they ended up.

Instead, she stepped away, snagging another drink as she made her way back to her assigned table. "We'll see about that."

After spending a large part of the evening being introduced to the rest of the Canon players and the formidable task of learning their names, Lily managed a retreat to Charlus Potter's library. Her dress pooled around her as she sank to the carpeted floor and plucked a random book from the shelf.

She pretended she was reading the text but in reality the words blurred together and she didn't comprehend any of it. In truth, she needed the sanctuary of the room that smelled like the worn pages housed there as well as the pipe tobacco Charlus smoked.

Eventually, she moved from the floor to the oversized chair that Charlus normally occupied. Lily sank into the leather and bunched the fabric of her dress around her knees so she could curl up and look out the window at the lanterns that created a lit path for guests to stroll.

The sounds from the ballroom reached her as the guests settled in to finish dinner and enjoy the conversation at their tables. She could only imagine what they were discussing out there and she was all too happy to be tucked away from it all.

It wasn't long until the stress of the day caught up with her and Lily gave up the fight to keep her eyes open.

In the ballroom, James spent the majority of the evening with his teammates. He had already made the rounds earlier with Lily, thanking people for coming and putting in just enough time in each circle so he wouldn't be considered rude.

It was a relief to relax with his teammates taking the piss out of him and the Marauder's at his side in a show of solidarity. After the stress of the day it was brilliant just to stand back and enjoy his friends with a drink in hand.

It was the approach of his mum, after the guests had gone and James was swimming in a pleasant haze from the readily available alcohol that clued him in to the absence of his wife.

"James, have you seen Lily? I thought she went to the loo quite some time ago but I haven't seen her since."

"I'm sure she's fine. I'll poke around and see if I can find her."

"Let me know when she turns up." Dorea instructed as James nodded absently and made his way out of the emptying ballroom.

When he reached the double doors that led into the more commonly used areas of the home, James made a left, deciding to check the nearest loo in the unlikely event that his mother was right and Lily had been holed up there for an undisclosed period of time.

When he found that it was empty he continued down the hallway, pausing when he reached the library. The lights were off but the lanterns outside provided enough of a glow for James to make out the shape occupying his father's chair.

Lily was tucked into the chair, her cheek pressed against the worn leather in sleep. It struck James then how small she looked and how young her wedding dress made her seem. He supposed he looked young as well but it was especially apparent when she was sleeping in the near darkness, curled into the oversized chair like it was a lifeline.

James crouched next to her, preparing to nudge her awake when he noticed tears staining her cheeks that had previously escaped his notice. He blamed the alcohol when his fingers trembled against the warmth cheek, gently removing the moisture.

"Lily, you're only dreaming."

Lily tossed restlessly in her sleep, making a small keening noise and opening her arms. James lifted her slightly and sat in the chair so her body was cushioned against him, holding her and murmuring comforting nonsense as he stroked her hair.

"Whatever it is, it's only a dream."

He felt Lily stir and shift to accommodate her dress. Her head lifted and she glanced up in the darkness, still struggling to wake up.

"Adam?"

James felt his entire body freeze and loosened his hold on Lily as she continued to wake up from the grips of her nightmare. "No. It's…I'm not Adam."

All at once Lily was thrust into consciousness. In a matter of seconds she realized where she was and who she was actually with. Her face flamed in the darkness of the library as she detached herself from James and stood up.

"I fell asleep."

"I noticed. You were having some sort of nightmare."

"Right. I get those when I'm stressed."

A heavy silence fell quickly becoming unbearable and forcing James to clear his throat as he switched on a nearby lamp. "Mum's been looking for you. The guests have gone and we can head home."

_Home_.

James watched Lily scrub a hand over her face, appearing every bit as exhausted about the beginning of married life as he felt.

"How long should a replenishing potion settle before being administered?"

"Three minutes. But after ten it needs to be stored properly to avoid spoiling."

"Right. In case of an unexplained bite, who should you-"

"Contact the healer in charge of the emergency wing first and then notify my supervisor."

"Evans, do you realize that you're beginning to answer questions before I finish them?"

Lily Evans Potter stared across the breakfast table at her husband, unimpressed with his assessment. "That means I'm finally starting to get all of this down."

"Or it could mean that you already have it down and don't need to work yourself so hard."

It had been exactly a week since the wedding. So far the pair had settled somewhat into a routine where Lily woke early to get a jump on studying. They ate breakfast together and James would leave for training with the Canons returning home around supper time. It was an unspoken agreement that Lily would handle dinner if James agreed to quiz her for the healing exam and help her with clean up.

The routine was working out well, allowing Lily the time to study when she needed to and finish setting up around the house without James bothering her.

Still, even with so much time devoted to her studies she was unbelievably anxious about her upcoming exam. There simply weren't enough hours in the day to prepare.

"I understand if you think I'm going overboard to prepare but this test is important."

"I know it is." James split the last piece of bacon on the plate and tossed half onto Lily's plate before taking a bite of his own half. Lily nibbled on her piece absently, trying to talk herself into being calm. "Just don't freak yourself out with stress."

"I'm trying not to." Lily finished the last of her juice and began tidying up the dishes so she could channel her nervous energy. "What about you? What is the team up to today?"

"More drills, a meeting with the managers, and a work out to cool down. All fun stuff."

"Ah, sounds like it."

"Thanks. I'll be home by seven."

"See you then."

James grabbed his gear and Floo'd from the house. Lily took advantage of the quiet to finish the rest of her studying. She covered the chapters that she outlined in advance and after a lunch break where she wouldn't allow herself any more study time, she showered and ran out to do several errands.

She did her grocery shopping at a Muggle store to avoid the press. Lily hadn't even begun to get used to being hounded by people with cameras each time she left the house. It was a luxury to go to a Muggle market where she was as unremarkable as the next patron.

It was while she was stocking the cupboards and considering what would make an easy dinner that a knock sounded at the back door. Puzzled, Lily frowned and made her way to the door so she could peer out before opening.

Immediately she hauled the door open and pulled her guest in by the collar of his shirt before he could be seen or have his picture snapped for the front page of the papers.

"I don't think they've seen me. I was careful."

Lily took a cautious step backward and folded her hands in front of her, unsure what to do with them.

"Adam, what are you doing here?"

It was more than a little shocking, seeing her recently married ex-boyfriend in the kitchen of her new home. The home she shared with James Potter.

It was especially unnerving given how good he looked, grinning as his cheeks steadily reddened. Instantly, it was as if the past few months hadn't happened. Lily felt as if she were transported back to Hogwarts and back to being with Adam, when everything felt simpler. She could almost forget that they were married and would end their day with a completely different set of people.

Almost. Until she caught the glint of gold on his ring finger and felt the weight of reality crashing over her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to be such a shock."

"It's been awhile, that's all." Lily glanced around her kitchen, fumbling as she pulled out a chair and gestured for Adam to join her at the table. "Would you like tea?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Adam seemed to take in as much of the house as possible from his view. Lily watched as his eyes swept through the kitchen and living area, smiling when he caught sight of the books surrounding the sofa, and finally settling on her face. "How have you been, Lily?"

"I'm still settling in but I'm managing. How are things with you?"

"Good. Great actually," Adam fidgeted in his chair while toying with the ring on his finger, all without looking at Lily, "I wanted to share something with you before it made the papers."

Lily felt her stomach drop as if it would plummet through the floor, before twisting itself into a very tight knot.

"What is it?"

"I know we didn't discuss out future plans much after the Ministry handed its decision down about the Marriage Law."

When he saw that Lily was processing and had no desire to speak, Adam continued, "We decided to make a go of the marriage. Make something…real. I wanted you to know, there will be an announcement in the papers eventually but…Catherine is pregnant."

_Pregnant_.

"That's…remarkable. I'm happy for both of you." She managed after a slight delay.

"I'm so glad to hear that, Lil. Really. I actually think the pair of you would get on well."

"Would we?"

Lily tuned out for the rest of his stay. She vaguely heard talk about the in law's and what Catherine wanted to do once the baby came but she wasn't able to focus on what he was saying. It was all a bit muffled and distant, like it was happening to someone else.

This couldn't be her life. Could it?

There was no way she could reconcile the Adam who occupied her kitchen with the man that she had loved at Hogwarts. How could she when he was calmly telling her about his wife and how lovely their arrangement turned out to be?

Once the visit had ended and Adam said his goodbye's, adding insult to injury by hugging her as if they were old friends, Lily sat back down at the table and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to calm her racing mind. 

**A/N More couple interaction ahead, I promise! This won't be one of those stories where James and Lily fall instantly in love. It's a process that I'm laying out now. Also, thank you so much for your reviews! They are hugely motivating and I appreciate each one. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: HP is not mine. I am merely borrowing the characters here and their world. **

**A/N: There was a request to know which couples were paired due to the marriage law. Just so everything is cleared up, here are the couples that come into play as of now: **

James Potter – Lily Evans  
Sirius Black – Clover Brighton  
Peter Pettigrew – Marlene McKinnon  
Remus Lupin – Exempt from law  
Adam Bell – Catherine Prewett 

**Chapter 10: Playing the Game**

**"At least it's not dull, I suppose. What could be worse than being married and falling into a dull life?"  
-Diary of Lily Evans, September 1977**

James was more than a little weary when he arrived home and discovered his wife finishing a glass of wine whilst cooking. It wasn't the wine or the cooking that startled him. He knew she was fond of both.

It had more to do with the fact that dancing coincided with the drinking and cooking.

The little Muggle radio that Lily situated on the countertop was producing a rhythm that, according to the movements of her hips and wondrously long legs, she found agreeable.

Grimy from practice, James stopped a safe distance away and watched as Evans worked her hips in a compelling motion that mirrored the pace at which she stirred the contents simmering on the stove. Clutching the bag that contained his gear as if it were a lifeline, James willfully ignored the strange rush of feelings that this particular sight elicited and began backing away with every intention of escaping to partake in a long, meditative shower.

"I didn't realize you were home."

Shite.

"Just got in, actually." James momentarily debated and then decided on keeping his answers short and to the point until he could better gauge Lily's mood.

"Well, dinner's almost on. You have time for a shower if you'd like." Lily placed her empty glass on the counter and went back to stirring without the added bonus of moving to her Muggle music.

"Right. I'll be down soon."

James practically ran from the room, clomping up the steps with all the stealth of a peeved Hippogriff, relieved when he locked the door to the loo behind him and began undressing. He pushed the small aches and general grumbling of his muscles from his mind and considered the situation downstairs.

There was something distinctly _off_ about the atmosphere in the kitchen. Everything about the scene should have indicated a spirited, uplifting mood; what with the music and the wine, and of course the dancing. Under the cool spray that was battering his already aching body James groaned. He wasn't likely to forget the dancing anytime soon.

He continued pondering the situation as he went through his routine. He soaped up and scrubbed, pushing all thoughts of Evans temporarily to the side as it seemed not on the up and up to think of her while showering without her knowledge and permission.

Ten minutes later he reappeared downstairs with no plan other than remaining cautious and vigilant so he could accurately pinpoint out her state of mind. It would have made sense to him had she taken her final and come home to celebrate it being over. But with the exam still a week away, it didn't seem likely that Lily would be celebrating something that was contributing to so much of her stress.

"Smells wonderful, Evans."

Lily stopped in the middle of setting a pair of plates on the table and for a moment James feared her wrath. It wasn't that Lily was prone to shouting at him for using her last name. They still referred to one another using their surnames, a habit from their Hogwarts days. It had become a nickname more than anything, said out of a tentative fondness rather than in anger.

However, since the wedding James made a conscious effort not to use her surname, unsure if it would only make the adjustment to being known as Potter that much worse.

Instead, she surprised him again by flicking a glance in his direction and smiling. It was a small smile, a gentle tug that sent each corner of her mouth upward, but it was there nonetheless. She busied herself with doling out the appropriate silverware, looking away as she did.

James dropped into the seat across from Lily and ducked his head as he felt a foolish smile take up residence on his face as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Thank you." They each sampled from their plate in silence until Lily swiped a napkin over her lips and asked, "How was your day?"

"It was alright. The meetings went well, training is killing me but that's how it's supposed to be." He smiled at her from across the table and felt his stomach perform a strange acrobatic routine when she returned his look with a smile of her own. "Erm, how was yours?"

"Fine," her smile dimmed as she reached for her wine glass, now filled with water. "I got the grocery shopping out of the way, did some studying."

"Do you need me to quiz you after dinner?"

"No," Lily seemed to be concentrating rather hard on the contents on her plate as if they would disappear if she glanced away. "I'm taking a break from that tonight."

"Fair enough."

The rest of the meal passed in a relatively smooth silence. James did his best to concentrate on the food and only spared a handful of glances in Lily's direction. Once again, he was caught off guard by his spouse, this time when Lily positioned herself at the sink while he was cleaning up.

"Evans, do you have a temperature?"

"I'm not ill just because I am gracious enough to pitch in with the cleanup effort, Potter." Lily drawled with her back to him.

"Right, but…you do realize that you are not supposed to be helping me. So if I anger you by leaving articles of clothing in the loo-"

"As you are wont to do-"

"So, if that happens - you do realize you can't use this cleanup effort against me, don't you?"

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"Shut it and hand me that dish." 

After dinner, during the hour or so when they would normally be situated in the kitchen and James would help Lily prep for her examination, they settled in the living room instead.

Lily placed a Muggle film in the moving picture device and curled up at one end of the couch while James occupied the other. He watched the pictures as they moved rapidly on screen with no small amount of fascination. It was a whole new kind of magic though one that was unfamiliar to him.

"So, who are those blokes?" James asked after several minutes of being too interested in what he was seeing rather than paying attention to the plot.

"That's Paul Newman."

In the flickering light cast from what Lily termed _The Telly_, James glanced over and caught her expression as she ogled the man on screen.

"You fancy him."

Lily laughed, hardly sparing him a glance. "Well, look at him. He isn't unfortunate looking, is he?"

"What about the other one, then?"

"Robert Redford."

"Right. Fortunate looking as well, I suppose."

"He's handsome too. I just happen to be more of a Newman fan." Lily laughed at his openly amused expression and patted his socked foot. "Not to worry, you'll have plenty to look at once the female lead arrives." 

For the next few days instead of studying after dinner the pair would retreat to the living room to view Lily's small collection of films. Eventually they even got in the habit of picking up snacks from the sweet shops so they could eat while they watched.

James was half-heartedly watching an older black and white film, alternating between paying attention and staring out the window as he waited for Lily to arrive home.

It was the night of her examination. She left a note explaining that she had left the house at half past five and didn't know when she would be home. While waiting, James threw together a bit of nosh, contemplated doing laundry, avoided the laundry, and then finally settled down with the film.

James was seriously considering going upstairs to clean the loo for the second time that week when Lily Floo'd into the house. She looked tired around her eyes but otherwise no worse for wear and even smiled when she deposited her bag on the floor.

James wandered to the telly to shut off the film and motioned for Evans to join him on the couch.

"How was it?"

"Not as bad as I thought it would be." Lily flopped back and shut her eyes, looking drowsy. "I answered all the questions and then went back to look each of them over a second time."

"How many pages were there?"

"Sixteen."

"You re-read sixteen pages?"

"Front and back, no less. Eventually the numbers began to blur."

"Bloody hell."

"Right." Lily yawned hugely and rubbed her tired eyes. "I'm hoping you made dinner so I can eat and crash."

"You're in luck. I was feeling culinarily inclined." 

On the night when Lily Evans Potter received her exam results via owl, Sirius Black's life took a turn toward the disastrous.

He had just returned from an evening excursion on his motorbike and was considering the longest shower of his life when the buzzer sounded near the door. Sirius strongly considered ignoring it.

There was no sense of impending doom nagging him or telling him not to open it but Sirius wished to Merlin that something would have compelled him not to when he opened the door only to discover his wife on the other side.

For several moments, he was distracted enough not to notice the young woman standing beside Clover. It was easy to become distracted when faced with Clover Brighton Black after dark with shower centric thoughts on his mind.

"I was just about to shower, care to-"

"Someone broke into the boutique," Clover rushed to explain before he could utter the rest of his proposition. "I wouldn't be here but Violet and I were sleeping and I don't want her there right now."

"I'm not letting you go back there alone, you know."

For the first time, Sirius turned his attention to the shorter, darker version of Clover. He stared at them both for several moments, taking in not just Clover's words but the startling appearance of her smaller prototype.

"Wait. Violet?"

Brimming with impatience, Clover gestured to the younger woman while willing Sirius to keep up. "My little sister. She's staying with me for awhile. I need to get back and talk with the Auror's. Watch her."

Clover apparated and was gone instantly, as if it were okay to leave Sirius with a teenager who seemed on the brink of losing her mind.

"We have to go to the boutique! Look, I can't pop in and out of rooms like she can. But you can, can't you?"

"I-"

"What if the people who broke in are still there?"

"Bossy little Muggle, aren't you?"

Without waiting for an answer Sirius took hold of the younger girl's hand and popped out of his flat and into the boutique. Chaos greeted them. Their feet crunched on broken glass and Sirius was forced to tug Violet out of the way so she could avoid getting trampled on by Auror's who were just arriving on scene.

"Stay behind me and don't speak."

"I-"

"Don't." Sirius ordered before striding through the mess to find Clover among the ruin.

Sirius stepped over torn dresses and overturned pieces of furniture. Bits of glass and jewelry that had been tossed from the display case carelessly littered the floor. Sirius checked that Violet was behind him still and hadn't wandered off before coming up beside Clover so he could hear what the Auror's had to say.

"…need that list. Anyone who might want to harm you or your establishment, we need to know."

Clover dragged a hand through her hair and folded her arms over her chest. Her patience was waning, her store was a wreck, and the Auror was looking at her as if she was a careless first year who blew up her cauldron.

"I don't have a list. Look, I work with the Wizarding and Muggle communities. There's a chance that someone might have targeted me for that reason."

"Without the list, we don't have much to go on."

"Go on this: I have wards set up here Auror," Clover leaned in closer to peer at the man's nametag, "Stevens. I have advanced and very effective wards in place to avoid something like this. Whoever broke through the wards has an advanced knowledge of dark magic so I suggest you start there, Auror Stevens."

Without another word, Clover walked away from the man. She walked away and took refuge in the mess of her office before she did something proactive like draw her wand and blast him into the street.

She was sitting among the rubble, contemplating her next move when a soft knock sounded on the door. It wasn't quite effective what with the door having been completely blown off its hinges but Clover turned anyway and gestured for Sirius to enter.

"I can take Violet back to my place."

"I would appreciate that." Clover picked up one of her sketch pads, discovered that all of the pages were torn out and useless, and was mortified to discover that she felt like crying.

"I wasn't going to bring her but she was scared. For you, you know…"

"I know."

Clover heard crunching sounds as Sirius stepped through the doorway and settled in front of her. He brushed aside the glass and other debris so he could kneel and gently press his palm against her cheek. She leaned into the strength there for several moments before meeting his gaze and smiling.

"You'll come to my place when you're done here?"

He brushed his lips over her cheek, lingering, before pulling away so she could nod in reply.

"Brilliant. I'll see you soon." 

As soon as Violet and Clover were tucked safely into their transfigured beds, Sirius popped into the loo so he could apparated to the Potter's home in Godric's Hollow.

He was expecting a quiet, sleeping house and was surprised to find Lily Evans Potter at the kitchen table working on what appeared to be a massive bowl of ice cream.

Evans glanced at the clock above the sink with a raised brow. "Morning, Black."

"Evans."

"James is sleeping. I was restless so I came down for a victory sundae."

"What are we celebrating?"

Lily loaded her spoon with ice cream and continued nibbling as she spoke, "I passed my exams. I report for my internship at St. Mungo's in two days."

"Congratulations."

Lily must have caught him looking toward the stairs because she waved him away. "Thanks. You can go on up, you know."

"Enjoy the ice cream."

"Thanks. Enjoy waking up Potter." He heard her laugh ring through the kitchen as he took the stairs two at a time, "Better you than me." 

**A/N I just wanted to say thanks again for all of your reviews. Honestly, I felt horrible letting this story go for so long and now I'm a bit overwhelmed by the reviews for TMD, All the Little Pieces, and my oneshot! **

**Also, just so you understand my updating schedule, I am working on two stories right now so I will be alternating between the two. **


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: One Step Forward

"**I hope to have a life with no regrets; and that includes my marriage. I have no intention of letting any of this pass me by!"****  
-Diary of Marlene McKinnon, September 1977**

**A/N I want to thank everyone who took the time to review. Seriously, you rock and made this quick update happen.**

"Prongs."

James was dreaming of Quidditch. Specifically, he was flying in his first match for the Canons, stunned by the roar of the crowd and the fevered intensity that wrapped itself around him. It was only after his name had been announced and the crowd went dead silent that James realized something was amiss.

Upon glancing down, he realized he was in his boxer shorts – and promptly prayed for a swift death.

"Wake up, prat!"

James was hurled out of his dream and into reality when light filled his bedroom and forced his eyes open.

"Bloody fucking…" James bolted upright so he could glare at the unapologetic figure standing at the foot of his bed. He fumbled around the nightstand until his hands closed over his glasses and Sirius swam into focus. "Padfoot. Everything okay?"

"Yes. Somewhat."

"So, there isn't an emergency?" James scraped a hand over his face to clear away the remnants of sleep.

"No."

James felt zero guilt when he grabbed his pillow and chucked it at Sirius. The impact was satisfying and soothed his irritation at having been startled awake for a non-emergency.

Sirius tossed the pillow back half-heartedly and settled his body at the edge of the bed. "Feel better?"

"Marginally. What brings you here at," James gave a cursory glance in the direction of the clock, "almost four in the morning?"

"Clover's living with me now."

James stared, waiting for the point to emerge.

"Clover and her sister are living with me. They're in my flat -"

"Sleeping? I gather they're actually sleeping now."

"Right, but that isn't the point."

"What is the point then, Pad?"

Sirius fixed his gaze on his hands. It took him several moments to puzzle out what exactly was weighing so heavily on his mind. "I made a tactical error."

"Tactical error." James repeated, lacking the impatience that colored his tone moments before. It would have been easy to remain angry with Sirius for keeping him up when he was scheduled for another grueling practice in another few hours.

In fact, when he was exhausted and aching at the end of the day it was more than likely that he would be cursing his mate in a very colorful fashion.

For now, he was prepared to stay up the rest of the night until things were sorted. There was no turning away family, especially when they appeared as miserable as Sirius was looking. It simply wasn't done.

"I've been shagging my wife."

"Ah. Is she-"

"Pregnant? No. But she's living with me, James."

James could sense where things were headed and nodded as it dawned quite clearly on him. "Which is almost as bad in your opinion, correct?"

"Too right it is! I didn't sign up for this." Sirius rocketed off the edge of the bed to pace the room. "None of this makes sense and it's a too much, mate."

"Would it be insensitive to remind you that none of us signed up for this? I certainly didn't."

"Git. I know that! Look, Clover and I had an arrangement, right? We were each attracted and there was no sense in denying it when we were legally bound anyway."

"Makes sense so far."

"Of course it does," Sirius snapped. "It made sense. Live in separate flats, shag when it suited us. It was an easy arrangement and it got completely blown to hell with the boutique getting broken into-"

"The shop was hit? Is she okay?"

Sirius waved the questions away. "Course she is." The picture of abject misery, Sirius dropped into a chair situated near the window and dropped his head in his hands. "But her sister was staying with her. Which is news to me seeing as I didn't even know the sister bloody existed until tonight. With the shop being destroyed and swarming with Auror's they're settled at my flat – and why are you _smiling_ like that!"

"It's not on purpose, promise."

"I hate you. I do."

"Look, Padfoot. You're panicking. You don't need to panic right now." James did his best to sound soothing when he really wanted to kick back and laugh at Sirius' discomfort. "It feels like too much right now but it's not forever, is it? The shop will get put back in order and she'll be out of there in no time."

"Don't forget the sister. She'll be leaving too."

"Clover and the sister will be cleared out before long. Not to worry. You'll have your arrangement back to the way it was and this will only be a minor hiccup in the plan."

Smiling for the first time in awhile, Sirius lifted his head and laughed. "Promise?"

"Promise," James said solemnly. "Now get the hell out so I can sleep."

"Wanker."

"Tosspot." 

Not long after hearing the news of the vandalism at the Wildflower Boutique, Lily was in Hogsmeade. She wondered what exactly she was doing there. It was strange to be surrounded by happy shoppers when she had what felt like a ball of nerves settling in her stomach.

It would have been easier if she had stayed home. Certainly, there was enough to be done there. She could have spent the day finishing planting in the garden or continued celebrating her upcoming internship.

She had options and yet, she somehow ended up in front of the shop owned by the person who used to be one of her dearest friends. Shaking her head, Lily squared her shoulders and strode forward to rap her knuckles against the front entrance.

It was a few moments before Clover appeared. The door opened slowly and Lily was shocked to see the obvious evidence that the other woman had been crying.

It was apparent that Clover had been tidying the shop with her hair scraped back and her face bare of any makeup. Her clothes were plain and stained with her efforts and when her chin wobbled, it felt as if the remnants of bad feeling melted away.

"Let's get you inside."

Lily guided Clover into the ruins of the shop. She managed to kick the door shut behind them and continued guiding Clover until she was settled in a chair behind the counter.

"It's silly, isn't it? I've been crying all bloody morning."

"It's not silly at all," Lily searched the contents of the counter, found what she was searching for and handed Clover a cigarette and matches.

"Thank you." Clover accepted the items with the grace of a queen.

It was something Lily had always admired about her. Despite the grime and misery of her tears, Clover Brighton was no less elegant than when she was dressed to the nine's and taking on London.

Aiming a stream of smoke in the opposite direction, Clover glanced at Lily with a smile that was all for show. "What are you doing here, anyway? If you've come for a frock, I'm afraid I'm all out."

"James told me what happened over breakfast. I wanted to help you sort through all this."

"Is Godric's Hollow so boring that you've turned to cleaning wrecked shops for entertainment?" Clover teased, not unkindly.

"As a matter of fact, yes. I haven't started work yet and I'm bored to tears."

"I can put you to use, I suppose."

"I was counting on it." 

It took most of the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening for the shop to be put back in some semblance of order. It was easy to get rid of the mess but the task of organizing and re-stocking was not an easy one.

Clover was distressed over the hit the shop's finances would take. Normally, it was a balancing act to pay the bills and keep the inventory fresh. With all of the damage and the items that would need replacing, the next few months could break Wildflower Boutique completely.

Lily did her best to get things back in order and keep Clover's mind away from the finances. She knew thinking about it couldn't be put off forever but it wouldn't do to think about financial woes constantly while repairing the damage that had been done.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to repay you for helping," Clover remarked while locking up and putting the wards in place.

"Nonsense. Don't be thick."

"Really, Lil. I don't think I'll be able to pay you even if I wanted to. What with the money I'm hemorrhaging."

There was a beat of silence between the pair. Both were smiling, tired from their day of work. It was Lily who opened her arms so she could enfold Clover for a quick, painless hug. The blonde stilled as if not quite believing what was taking place before slowly returning the gesture with any enthusiasm.

Lily noted the shock and pushed aside her own jumbled feelings as she stepped back and prepared to apparate home.

"You'll bounce back. It's what you do."

"It's nice of you to say so."

Lily landed just outside the house, still trying to calm the rush in her stomach as she opened the door and stepped inside. She was distracted for several moments by kicking off her shoes and dropping her keys on the table just inside the door. Her thoughts were so focused on the idea of a shower to rid her of the day's grime that she didn't notice the flurry of activity going on in the kitchen.

It was only when she heard the deafening clatter of pans that she stopped to fully absorb the sight of James Potter putting the final touches on what looked and smelled like a very time consuming meal.

The kitchen was a disaster area of course but it was the table that caught Lily's attention. While James hurried to locate his wand and get rid of the mess completely, Lily stared with disbelief at the transformed space.

A simple tablecloth had been placed over the normally bare table. Several dishes were covered to keep warm and silverware and plates had been distributed. It was the centerpiece, a collection of what appeared to be handpicked wildflowers hastily placed in a vase, that was too-large that really stunned her.

James was wiping his hands on a hand towel, looking between Lily and the table with an unreadable look when she re-gained her voice.

"What's all this?"

"It's about time I started cooking, isn't it?" He tossed the towel on the now spotless counter and motioned for her to take a seat. "You've been doing it for ages and I thought we should have a celebratory dinner of sorts."

"What is it we're celebrating?" Lily spotted a dish of still steaming dinner rolls, eyeing them greedily while James scoffed.

"You're joking, right? Your finals, Evans! Remember those?"

"Vaguely," Lily teased. "Honestly, Potter I'm so hungry I can't remember much of anything at the moment."

"You're in luck then, aren't you?"

James served the meal, heaping portions on each of their plates that would have easily fed an army of trolls. They wasted no time in settling in to the meal.

Lily was famished from her day, which James insisted on hearing all about. Between sampling the food, which was surprisingly delicious and filling her rumbling stomach, she told him all about the cleanup effort at the boutique.

"So, how was it?"

"It went well, obviously. Look at the state of me!" Gesturing to her filthy clothing, Lily laughed.

"Actually I was asking about you and Clover." James leveled an even look at her from across the table.

"Of course you are," Lily murmured. "Clever."

"Out with it, Evans. You're stalling."

Lily poked her tongue out at him and began toying with the potatoes left on her plate. "It was fine, nosy. I guess I didn't want to think about how much I missed her."

Satisfied to leave it at that, James remarked, "I'm glad it went well."

"Thanks."

Conversation stalled then as they picked at the last of their food. Once they were finished, James began clearing and made sure to shoo Lily when she offered to help.

"Shower. I'll handle this."

"If you insist!" Lily called as she practically ran from the room with his laughter following her upstairs.

Lily showered and rushed back downstairs to sample the pudding that James attempted for desert. They ate in the kitchen not to be bothered with the formality of plates when they could dive into the dish with separate forks.

When Lily was sure her stomach would burst, she tossed her fork into the sink and slumped back against the counter with her hands laced over her stomach.

"James, I have a question and before I ask it, I'm going to have to ask you to promise not to be offended."

James considered her words with a thoughtful nod. "Noted."

"Did you smuggle a house elf in to make the meal?" At his snort of disbelief, Lily continued, "It's okay if you did. To be fair, my meals never involved such an amazing desert."

"There were no smuggled elves involved in this meal, Evans. Practice let out early so I had far too much time on my hands."

Lily ducked her head, trying to smother her laughter.

James tossed his fork in the sink so it clattered with hers. In an attempt to prolong her laughter, he even managed a few shuffling moves to the muted beat coming from the radio. It was something upbeat and perfect for him to make a fool of himself.

Lily raised both brows and renewed her laughter. "Oh, Potter."

"As if you can do better." He moved his hips in a particularly jerky manner and had her covering her face as her shoulders moved with her amused giggles.

"Come on, then. Prove me wrong."

Lily glanced up sharply. She stared at the hand James offered as if it held a meaning greater than a simple dance in their kitchen. Telling herself that she was being perfectly ridiculous Lily hopped down from the counter and smoothed her nightshirt, as if it made a difference whether or not it was wrinkled.

Almost as soon as she accepted his hand, surprisingly gentle as it tugged her forward, the song changed. Instead of copying his silly dance steps, the tempo mellowed so she was moved seamlessly into his arms.

"Alright?"

"Of course."

"Is this a Muggle artist?"

"Mhmm. Eric Clapton."

"I like it. Talented bloke."

Lily silently prayed that James would stop talking. Not for the obvious set of reasons. He wasn't taking the piss out of her or grating on her nerves. If anything, it was unnerving to be completely pressed against him. Feeling the vibrations through his chest as he spoke sent a not unwelcome sensation thorough her that was not worth dwelling on.

"You're not teaching me all that much," James teased quietly.

Lily sighed and tucked her head companionably on his shoulder. "You're doing just fine, James."

That seemed to silence him temporarily. The aching mixture of guitar and Clapton's crooning swirled around them until Lily felt as if they were wrapped in it.

The sweet, aching strains left Lily slightly breathless and when James squeezed her hand she realized that along the way they stopped moving. The song ended and the radio chose that moment to turn to static that hummed in the small space.

James pulled back first, leaning away so he could catch her eye. His smile made her insides twist and then plummet when his arm loosened but didn't entirely release her.

"That wasn't awful."

"Were you expecting awful?"

James shook his head, pulling away entirely. "Not at all." 

**A/N Can anyone guess the song they were dancing to? (I'm a total Clapton fan) In case you want to take a listen –  
****it's, **_**Wonderful Tonight **_**which actually came out in '77.**

**Also, if you're looking for a little something between updates – I do have another story I'm working on. It isn't Marauder era but I'm having a blast writing it!**


	12. Chapter 12

"**I've never been more out of step as I am now. I wonder when I'll find my footing."**

**-Diary of Lily Evans, September 1977  
**

**Chapter 12: One step back**

**A/N: Full author's note at the end. Thank you all so much for reading! **

**Disclaimer: None of the HP world is mine. It all belongs to JKR.**

The day before Lily was scheduled to begin the night shift at St. Mungo's, she agreed to accompany James to a Canon's press conference. It was customary for spouses to be in attendance while the players answered questions. After, there would be pictures with the couples and a brief luncheon.

Lily didn't give herself much time to be nervous about the event. She kept her mind on other things as she dressed and apparated to the posh restaurant in Hogsmeade. For the most part, she kept to herself and blended in with the other attendees.

When the players took to the tables lined up in front of the press, Lily couldn't help but smile. She spotted James immediately, looking perfectly at ease and fit for the spotlight. Nerves flared in her stomach when he spotted her among the crowd and a broad smile overtook his face.

The nerves were nothing new, but since their playful dancing turned into a little something more serious the other night in the kitchen, it felt as if her nerves were on overdrive. It was ridiculous to be treading lightly in her home, but Lily wasn't sure how to fix the feeling that she was walking a fine line without being sure of her footing.

She was uncertain when it came to her standing with James. Luckily, with her job starting and both of them being busy, she would have more on her mind than her makeshift marriage.

As soon as she relaxed, however, she caught sight of Marlene McKinnon seated a table away and found herself rolling her eyes when she discovered that the other woman seemed to have trouble keeping her eyes off James.

It would have been understandable if she was there as a spouse, but without Peter in attendance it made little sense for her to be there later. Lily made a mental note to consider Marlene and what her presence at the conference meant later.

The rest of the event went smoothly with the press asking their usual questions and the players answering with a loveable mix of charm and determination that they would make a comeback this season.

It wasn't until the question and answer session ended and she and James were eating together, that Lily noticed the cameras trained on them.

"James?"

"I know," he remarked without glancing up from his plate and low enough not to be heard by anyone else.

Lily plastered a smile on her face. "How long have they been watching us eat?"

"Ever since I sat down. I didn't realize it would be like this."

"Me either." Lily suppressed the urge to fidget, grateful when the meal was over and they were able to apparate home.

Lily spent most of the rest of the day running errands. She was surprised at how much press coverage she was receiving, ducking into stores to get away from the attention.

Annoyed by a particularly persistent flock of reporters, Lily rushed into the Wildflower Boutique hoping to see Clover and avoid the mess of reporters.

Lily was still catching her breath, leaning with her back against the door when she heard low voices coming from the back office and glanced back to make sure she wasn't barging in with Clover in the middle of something.

Instead, Lily spotted Clover deep in conversation with Severus Snape and gasped. She didn't mean for the sound to escape her. Luckily, she was so overcome with alarm that the it was hushed and didn't carry across the shop.

With a myriad of emotion warring inside her, Lily wrenched the door open – intending to flee before she made of fool of herself. Too late, she realized her jerky movements caused the bells above the door to chime loudly in the otherwise deafening silence.

"Lily, hello-"

Lily heard Clover call her name as she hurried out from her office with Severus following slowly behind.

Lily held her breath, completely still when her gaze locked with his. The contact lasted less than an instant but she was sure it could have stretched on for days. He stood proudly but Lily didn't have it in her to mirror his stance. She remained pressed against the door, unable to find her bearings.

She could hardly breathe even with so much distance between them. He was looking at her, with rings beneath his eyes and a raw expression that immediately shifted to one void of any emotion. Stung, Lily glanced away quickly and swallowed the thoughts that wished to tumble out.

Without a word in her direction, Severus said a succinct goodbye to Clover and exited using the back entrance. Lily watched his retreating figure until his black robes blended in with the other shoppers and she was left feeling lightheaded and hollow.

"I came to get dress robes," Lily said shakily. She cleared her throat and tore her eyes away from the door so she could look at Clover. "James has a game, his first, and I need something. I'll come back another time."

"Please, Lily. Stay, just for a minute-"

"No," Lily felt foolish as her throat clogged with a vile combination of sadness and bitterness. She would have said more if she could. Instead she threw open the door and did her best to vanish into the crowd.

Lily had little time to consider her run-in with Severus because the next evening was her first night at the hospital.

For her first shift, she was assigned to the pediatrics wing and decidedly fell in love with her work within the first hour. She started just after supper when the hospital was beginning to quiet down.

Upon entering the hospital, her stomach was in knots. The dilapidated outside in no way matched the pristine interior, and it helped steady her nerves to see each floor humming with efficiency.

For her first case, Lily saw a young witch whose arm needed mending after she took her mum's broom for an after dinner test run in the garden. The girl was rather mournful, with a pout that belied the jaunty ponytails that swung with her movements.

"Obviously I didn't plan on falling off. I just wanted to have a go and put it back without her noticing."

With her arm taken care of, Lily rummaged in her robes and produced a lolly for the girl. "I bet she'd take you out if you ask."

"Not after this she won't." The girl was ready to sulk throughout the rest of the visit had it not been for a well timed lolly.

The rest of the night went smoothly. Lily was briefly called off the wing to aid in a rather nasty emergency on the first floor but returned soon enough to catch up on her work and see the rest of her patients.

The sun was preparing to make its ascent, indicating that her shift was nearly over when the commotion started. Lily had just finished what was technically her breakfast when she heard orders being barked from the hall. She chucked the remnants of her meal and hurried into the hall where a boy was being levitated to the nearest room.

Lily entered the room and approached the bedside of the boy who was gasping for air, his blue jumper soaked with drying blood.

"What's happened to him?"

The man who had been giving orders in the hall paused, flicking a glance at Lily and then moving on to look at whoever was standing in the doorway. Lily noticed the snub and prickled with resentment.

"Get me another Healer! I'm not wasting my time with any trainees."

"I assure you," Lily glanced at the man's identification tag with a grimace, "Healer Connery, I'm not just wearing these robes for a lark. I'm more than capable of helping you with the boy. What is the nature of his injuries?"

Healer Connery looked to the trainee at his side who fidgeted from one foot to the other and began reading from the boy's file.

"William Healy, age ten. This is his third transformation since being bitten by a werewolf," the trainee glanced at the boy with trepidation before continuing to read from the chart, "Also, staff at St. Mungo's have been advised not to come in contact with the boy near the full moon-"

"Ridiculous," Lily snarled under her breath. She looked to Healer Connery briefly, saying, "It appears that the boy's wounds are self-inflicted. They match the description, appearing around his face and chest. We'll need a blood replenishing potion from the storeroom."

When the trainee made no move to fetch the items that Lily asked for, she felt her patience wane. "I need those items as soon as possible."

"I'm not coming back in here."

Lily did not stop her movement. With a flick of her wand, the soiled jumper was removed so she could tend to the abrasions, starting on his chest. "Of course you are. Stop standing there gaping at me and do as you're asked!"

"By law, I don't have to come back into this room. It's against the law for you to even ask me to treat that…thing."

Lily's stomach plummeted at the woman's words. Her hands remained steady and efficient but her words were sharp and filled with all of the loathing that was swelling inside of her. "Fine. Leave. You're not welcome in this room or on my service."

Lily didn't bother glancing up when the woman fled the room. She focused on William and the way his chest heaved with the effort to breathe. His struggled sharpened her concentration and narrowed her focus back to what was truly important.

Still incensed with the trainee, Lily glared at Healer Connery, demanding, "What about you? If you want to leave, I have this covered. Be sure to send someone in who will actually be of use to me though."

To her surprise, he headed for the door saying, "I'll fetch the potions and find a trainee to get the boy cleaned up when you're through."

Lily was too stunned to reply. The Healer was already out of the room, barking orders while she finished tending to William.

It took another hour for her to have William healed and settled restfully in bed. Once Lily administered the potions and finished healing him she was appalled to discover that none of the trainees were willing to be near enough to clean him up.

Lily wanted to curse the lot of them for their ignorance. Instead, she closed the door and performed the necessary tasks herself. She transfigured a pair of fresh pajamas out of his soiled clothes and tucked the blanket up to his chin.

She had the urge to sit by his side, to watch over him through the night. His parents were busy speaking with hospital administration and even though he would sleep soundly with the potions she administered, Lily worried that he would wake up alone and frightened.

As a compromise, Lily brought her orders in William's room so she could occupy the chair at his bedside while completing her work.

It was there that Healer Connery found her. Lily's shift was only minutes from ending and she was completing the last order when the door opened and he stepped inside.

Now that she wasn't busy saving the life of a young boy, Lily was able to fully take stock of the man who had dismissed her earlier. He was older than her, but she couldn't tell by how much. He was certainly attractive with a hard expression gracing pleasing features.

It was his eyes though that caught her attention. They were a startling shade of blue and seemed to take everything in with just one glance.

"You did well earlier," he commented after a lengthy silence.

Lily glanced back down at the sheet in her lap so she could sign off on the order and officially end her shift. "I know."

Healer Connery laughed and Lily was startled to find that the sound made her want to smile back at the seemingly grumpy man. She managed to keep her lips neutral when she glanced up at him.

"Thank you for running to get the potions. It saved William's life."

Healer Connery inclined his head but didn't comment further. Instead, he surprised her completely by saying, "You look nothing like the pictures they print in the papers."

"You recognized me?" Lily's cheeks heated and she silently cursed the Prophet.

"I did just now. They print the one's that make you look timid though."

It was Lily's turn to laugh as she gathered her paperwork and gave William one last cursory check before leaving.

On her way out, Lily paused to grin at the older Healer. "They sure got that wrong, didn't they?"

Upon waking, James stumbled downstairs and fired up the kettle. He had another early practice and he doubted he would be of any use without something in his system. Once the tea was ready, he was surprised to catch sight of Lily seated on the back step, watching the sun come up over the garden.

Without giving his actions much thought, James carried his tea out so he could join her on her perch.

"I thought you'd be sleeping by now."

Lily shook her head and took the teacup from his hands so she could steal a sip. "Merlin, I needed that."

"You're welcome to it."

Lily handed it back and James glanced down at the spot where Lily's lips had been. Mindful that he was being a prat, he set the cup and thoughts of his wife's lips aside.

"I don't think I can sleep," she admitted.

James frowned as he ran a hand through his already wrecked hair. "Did something happen on your shift?"

There was a pause where Lily seemed to be gathering her thoughts.

"I helped save a boy's life. It was…indescribable, being able to help him when he needed it." Lily let out a puff of air and looked toward the sun when she announced, "Also, Adam Bell is going to be a father."

For the life of him, James couldn't think of what to say. It was such a rapid-fire change that he could only shake his head questioningly.

"Congratulations, about the boy I mean."

"I won't lie, it felt amazing."

In the silence that followed, Lily took another taste of tea with her gaze fixed at the tree line. James set the cup aside so he could clasp his hands together in his lap and ponder the situation.

"How did you find out about Bell?"

"He told me," Lily said with a smile that indicated the lack of humor in the situation.

"Ah," James wisely decided to let that detail go. "It seems a little…"

"Soon?"

"Yes."

"I'd have to agree with you. As long as they're happy, I suppose."

James nodded at that; surprised that she seemed to be taking all of this in stride ; shocked, undoubtedly, but with better poise than most people would have in her situation.

"Evans, what else is going on?"

"What makes you think there's something else?"

Lily finally looked at him then and he was stunned at how quickly her forlorn gaze caused an unpleasant aching sensation in his chest. James brought his hand up, foolishly rubbing the spot as if to make it go away. Realizing the futility of the gesture, he dropped his hand and tried for a cautious smile.

"You haven't stopped looking out there. I figure there has to be more going on."

Lily's gaze plummeted to the ground when she admitted, "I ran into Severus in Hogsmeade the other day."

Instantly, James' hand itched for his wand. It was a reflex and one he chose to fight when he noticed the way Lily's shoulders drooped, as if the weight of her confession was still too heavy for her to lift on her own.

James nudged her gently and lifted his arm when her head shot up to look at him. Without saying anything she closed the distance between them and leaned into his side so he could loosely drape his arm around her shoulders.

They stayed that way for some time, each saying nothing. Finally, Lily scrubbed one hand over her face and glanced up at James, saying, "He didn't say anything to me. Not one word. I suppose I should be grateful."

"But you're not. Grateful, that is."

"No," Lily said slowly, "I know you don't understand but it still hurts. Even after all this time." Lily shook her head, unable to communicate the rest.

Choosing his words carefully, James briefly tightened the arm around her. "I'm sorry things happened the way they did with Snape."

Curious, Lily leaned back so she could look at him fully. "Are you really?"

"If I'm being honest, it has nothing to do with him. But I am sorry because you were hurt."

Lily nodded, briefly angling her body in to tuck her head against his shoulder without saying any more. His arm slid lower and settled around her waist, offering a gentle show of support as her breath shuddered out against his shirt.

She pulled away too soon, still unsettled but appearing calmer after having let out her secrets. James froze when she leaned in and placed a light kiss on his cheek.

"You didn't shave this morning," she commented lightly.

"No," James wondered if his face was reddening beneath the light growth and then silently pleaded that she couldn't see it if it was. "It's too early to worry about it."

"You should get going. Don't want to be late for practice."

"Right." She scooted out of his embrace, standing so she could offer him a hand up.

He smiled at the unnecessary offer but took her hand anyway so he could linger there with her.

"You'll get some sleep?"

She nodded and he noticed how heavy lidded her eyes were with the need to rest. "Have a good practice."

James inclined his head, finally releasing her hand. "I'll see you when I get back."

**A/N: Whew. Lots going on in this chapter! I purposefully made it longer and gave you guys some interesting points to mull over because I will be returning to school soon and want to keep you happy until the next update comes in.**

**I'm going to do my best to be better at updating but it gets difficult because my classes and other obligations tend to get in the way of writing time. Your reviews and encouragement are so appreciated right now, especially because things in the story are beginning to head in a complicated but more romantic direction! =) **


	13. Chapter 13

"Life is like a game of Quidditch; you never know how things will shape up**."**

**-James Potter, September 1977**

**Chapter 13: Stay**

**A/N Sizeable note at the end **

**Disclaimer: None of JKR's world belongs to me**

To James, there was nothing quite as satisfying as the all-over ache that accompanied a grueling practice. He knew some of the older players grumbled about the laps and drills but he completed each one with a smile – still hungry for the game and all that came with it.

As September wore on, the practices doubled and tripled in intensity in preparation for their first game. As a team, they were solid but nowhere near as good as James and the coaches thought they could be. They ran drills over and over again, always working to improve the silent communication that was needed for a team to work seamlessly on the pitch.

He was exhausted by the end of his day but grateful when he received an owl from Sirius telling him that he better be at the pub by nine, no excuses. It had been too long since the Marauders had gotten together and it was time to fix that.

Once practice got out at four James returned to Godrics Hollow to shower and change. Lily was already at work having gone in to the hospital for an afternoon shift. James threw together a massive salad and ate standing. He was too tired and in need of a shower to really care about what he was eating.

Once he finished eating, he sent a return owl to Sirius, nearly passed out in the shower, and finally fell face first into bed.

As was his nature, James didn't arrive at the pub until close to ten that evening. After sleeping heavily he awoke slowly and got ready to meet the others.

They were already there by the time he arrived, settled at the bar with drinks in hand.

"Ah, Prongs, lovely you could join us."

"Now now, Sirius," Remus remarked with a smile, "James needed his beauty rest."

"He has to look fit for the papers, after all."

James signaled for a drink and sat down between Remus and Sirius, making sure to jostle the three of them for their teasing. "Laugh it up, wankers."

"Not to worry, we are."

"The latest ones will keep us in stitches for the foreseeable future."

James groaned when Peter produced The Prophet so he could spread the pages over the battered countertop. James made sure to take a long pull of Firewhiskey before glancing at the images of him and Lily.

There were so many of them. Shots of them wandering Hogsmeade together, laughing at the press conference. Most of them were candid, capturing real smiles and unreadable expressions instead of the faces they chose to show the public.

It was a wonder to look at them all.

"I need another drink," James mumbled.

Sirius reached across the bar and snatched up the paper before James could get rid of it.

"I like the ones where Prongsie looks like a love-sick prat."

"Which one would that be, Sirius?" Peter played along.

"It's so hard to choose. I'd have to say all of them-"

Remus slapped James weakly on the back as he slid another drink in front of him. James accepted the drink, eyeing Remus over the top of his glass.

"Alright, Moony?"

"Of course."

"You're looking tired, mate."

Remus shrugged and struggled back onto his bar stool.

"No more than usual. The transformations are never kind."

Sirius and Peter quieted then. James looked between his two other friends and they nodded for him to go on.

"We'd like to be there for the next one. I know you wanted to try this one on your own-"

"But James does have an entire garden for us to roam."

"We already know all of the wards to put up."

"And Lily would be fine with it, obviously."

Remus sipped from his drink, doing his best to not look suitably impressed. "You've thought this through."

"Just give it some thought, mate."

With their mission of broaching the full moon accomplished, talk turned to lighter subjects. Sirius bemoaned the presence of Clover and Violet in his flat. Not that he minded having Clover around but because the younger sister made it impossible for him to get his hands on the older one.

"Swear to Merlin, every time I even contemplate shagging Clover, Violet knows."

James' head lolled forward and he snorted into his drink. "Not possible, Padfoot."

"She's always popping up, though. It's maddening!"

"Has Clover talked about moving out?"

Sirius waved Remus away and snatched Peter's drink from the bar to replace the one he just finished. "Course she has. Bloody ridiculous that we've been under the same roof for weeks and haven't properly taken advantage-"

"The horror," Remus teased.

"Git."

James laughed at the banter between friends as he blearily held up a finger to signal the waitress. He missed pissing away hours with his mates at the pub. Since leaving Hogwarts it felt like none of them had a moment to breathe properly, let alone stage a get-together.

The pub was too warm and overcrowded with a wild cast of characters. Their feet stuck to the flooring, with who knows what coating the dull wood. Most of the time the waitress ignored them and looked like she'd rather be perched next to them with a drink or two in hand.

James knew the pub was a disaster and it only made him love it more.

It was close to closing after many drinks had been poured and the Marauder's should have been cut off, when trouble started. James was poking at the basket of abandoned chips in front of Peter when snatches of conversation reached his ears.

"…can hardly believe it myself."

"About time the Ministry does something about the Mudblood's-"

"...wouldn't let Henry go to Hogwarts if someone put a wand to my head! Too much filth, I tell you."

In his haste to move toward the table where the conversation was taking place, James knocked aside the basket of chips and nearly upset Remus' drink.

"James," Remus said lightly.

Sirius lifted his head off the bar and jabbed Peter awake. "What's he doing?"

James tripped over his own feet, righted himself, and leaned against the wall to keep from falling over when he approached the table of older wizard's.

"What's the matter boy?" One of them asked.

"From the looks of it, he can't hold his Firewhiskey," another chimed in.

Smiling, James cleared his throat and looked each of the gentleman in the face as he announced, "I've heard every word of your conversation from the bar. I just wanted to come over and meet the tosspot's responsible for the vile coming from this corner."

Remus and Sirius were on their feet before one of the men called James an arrogant whelp. By the time the first punch was thrown, Peter was diving into the fray with them.

It was complete confusion in Cotter's Pub. Chairs were thrown and tables were overturned. Glasses hit the wall and shattered. The waitresses ducked for cover and the barmaid ran to grab her wand.

James scarcely knew how he was standing, let alone landing punches. He was clipped on the jaw and rocked back into the wall before surging forward again to launch himself at the bloke who was responsible. For the most part, he didn't feel the punches or notice when a mug of Firewhiskey was overturned on his head.

He was cresting on a wave of anger, from the remnants of the explosion of red that happened behind his eyes when he heard the word _Mudblood_. James was perfectly content not to feel anything until Sirius was grabbing him around the waist and dragging him from the skirmish.

"Get off of me, Sirius!"

"We have to clear out. They've called in the Auror's."

Sirius grunted when James thumped him smartly on the shoulder in his effort to get away. "They'll be here any minute and the press won't be far behind."

"I'm not finished here!"

Sirius ignored James completely after that and enlisted Peter and Remus in helping him pull James away. They ducked out through the back and stumbled into the alley to catch their breath. James slumped against the wall of whatever building they were behind, filling his lungs and choking on the putrid smells that lingered in the alleyway.

Beside him, Peter groaned and doubled over at the waist. "I'm going to be sick."

"Bloody hell. Keep it together, Wormtail."

Three of the four Marauders groaned collectively when Peter defied their pleas and emptied his stomach perilously close to their trainers.

They allowed Peter to collect himself before apparating to the house in Godrics Hollow. Peter practically ran to the loo while Remus situated James on the sofa and Sirius made tea in a futile effort to sober up.

By the time Lily arrived home sometime later, Peter and Sirius had Floo'd home while Remus napped on the chair opposite James.

Lily dropped her bag next to the fireplace and glanced between the two men with a frown. Both were sleeping soundly, needing the rest after what appeared to be a wild night. They were mussed and sporting bruises and the entire downstairs smelled like a brewery.

Lily toed off her shoes and crouched beside James to gently nudge him awake. He shot forward suddenly, obviously startled, before catching sight of Lily and wincing when he lay back.

"Rough night?"

James threw an arm over his face and nodded.

"You could say that."

Lily considered her options before carefully removing Remus' trainers and throwing a spare afghan over his slumbering form. Next, she helped James off the sofa and started the monumental task of getting him upstairs and into bed.

It would have been easy if he was sober and capable of putting one foot in front of the other. As it was, there was plenty of stumbling and pausing so James could lean against her and get his bearings. Halfway up, when they were almost home free, James stopped completely and tightened the arm that was around her for support.

"I didn't mean to get in a fight, you know."

"Most people don't plan those sorts of things."

"I certainly didn't! I'm sorry, Potter. You having to help me to bed like this-"

Lily laughed when she realized he was calling her Potter instead of referring to her as Evans as he normally did. "Let's just get you up to bed-"

"It's a disgrace. All of it."

Lily was more concerned with getting him to put one foot in front of the other rather than the disgraceful nature of his actions. When they finally made it upstairs, James wobbled and sent them crashing into the doorway of his bedroom. James took the brunt of the impact but immediately began apologizing.

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, Lily. Not just for the door but everything…"

He continued with a stream of apologies as Lily tugged him inside the bedroom, stepping over the bag with his Quidditch gear as she led him to the bed.

"Sit."

James complied and dropped heavily onto the mattress. He was still apologizing when Lily helped him out of his sweater and straightening his undershirt as an afterthought. She balled up the sweater and dropped it into the clothes basket next to his bed with a grimace as the smell of Firewhiskey hit her nose. Shoes came off next, followed by his glasses.

His chatter had stopped by the time she replaced the glasses on his nightstand and told him to rest. She expected him to fall into a heavy sleep instantly. Instead, his hand reached out and ensnared her wrist in a loose grip.

"It's time for bed, Potter."

A hollow silence filled the room, broken when James said, coherently, "Stay."

Lily could have shaken off his grip. It wasn't threateningly tight, meant to keep her from leaving the room. The grip he held on her arm was a question, something meant to be asked and answered in the cover of darkness.

It terrified Lily. Not because James posed any danger in his state or because his words disgusted her. It had more to do with the fact that she was at war with herself about saying yes.

"I…" James closed his eyes, shook his head as if to clear it. "Sorry."

It was Lily's turn to shake her head. She backed away so the contact was broken and stared at her arm in amazement when she began to miss the feeling of his hand encircling her skin.

"Sleep well, Potter."

Amazingly, James was up in time for Quidditch the next morning. Lily wasn't sure how he did it. It was her day off and she was glad to have the chance to sleep in. She lazed in bed until after ten when she got up and started her day with a cozy breakfast in her pajamas.

It wasn't until the afternoon when she gathered up the mail she hadn't had time to sort through, that her day took a turn for the interesting. There was plenty of junk that ended up getting tossed but there was also a dinner invitation from Dorea and Charlus Potter. Lily made a note to send her in-law's an owl accepting the invitation.

At the bottom of the pile, Lily gave pause when she found a small white envelope with her mother's careful script. The letter had been forwarded all the way from Hogwarts and had most likely come by owl days ago. Lily stared at it for several long moments, feeling a familiar twist of nerves.

Finally, she gave in to her curiosity and opened the letter. She scanned the contents first and then went back to the first few sentences to read her mother's invitation to dinner. Without knowing anything about James or the fact that her youngest daughter was married, her mother asked how she was and insisted she come home for a proper meal.

There was no news of Petunia but Lily was glad when she read that her father was in good health.

Lily re-read the letter several times before replacing it. She kept it tucked away, answering the others before returning to it with no idea how to respond.

On Friday evening, Lily and James arrived promptly at seven for dinner with Charlus and Dorea. When the door was thrown open, Lily was engulfed in a crushing hug from Dorea and received a fond smile from Charlus.

They chatted amiably for several minutes before being seated around the dining room table. Dorea kept Lily busy with questions about her new job and how she was enjoying it. Lily answered honestly, admitting that she loved her work and smiling when Dorea gushed and told her that she was a credit to her profession.

Lily was so engrossed with being peppered with questions from her mother-in-law that she almost didn't notice the looks passing between father and son at the table. Lily took a sip of wine, not just so she could take a break from answering Dorea's questions but to look at Charlus and James as they cut up their food while exchanging antagonistic glances.

Curious, Lily tried to catch James' eye but was soon distracted by Dorea.

"I'm glad you've settled in, Lily," Charlus commented once the dinner plates were taken away. "It's not easy work, certainly, but you're just the witch to tackle it."

"It's made easier by the fact that I enjoy it immensely."

"Of course you do. You're not content to sit back and let others work. You obviously have a strong work ethic."

Lily sat in total confusion as Dorea wrung her hands and James shot his father a look that could have frozen water. Before the conversation could continue, Dorea pushed back her chair and gestured for Lily to do the same.

"I'm afraid I didn't remember to prepare a proper desert. Would you like to help me pick out something we have on hand?"

Lily flicked a cautious glance between Charlus and James as she stood and placed her napkin on the table. She wasn't so sure about leaving the pair alone with cutlery in the room but joined her mother-in-law as she hurried into the kitchen.

The two women were debating between chocolate pudding and biscuits when Lily heard the shouts. They were muffled, obviously not coming from the dining room, but intense and piqued her sense of alarm.

Dorea placed a hand on her arm, begging her to stay put, but Lily shook her head apologetically and rushed out of the kitchen. Lily followed the pair of raised voices until she came to a stop outside of Charlus' study, stunned by the intensity of Charlus' words.

"She's a good woman, James. She has her head screwed on right. Meanwhile you-"

"Meanwhile, I what?" James roared in a stunning show of temper.

Lily flinched and took a step back in shock.

"Meanwhile, you play Quidditch and get pissed out of your mind for the entire world to see. Look at you! She's out working and thriving, having been thrust into a new life-"

"And I'm ruining everything, as usual."

"She's thriving and you're acting like a fifth year with no self control," Charlus said with a quietness that perfectly communicated his distaste. "When will you…"

Lily fled the alcove and returned to the kitchen where Dorea was holding a glass of wine with trembling hands. Understanding her anxiety, Lily went to her side and placed an arm around the older witch's shoulders.

They remained that way until the door to the study burst open with a crack and James stormed into the kitchen, looking incensed. He kissed his mother's cheek and swiftly made for the front door without looking back.

"We'll be going now."

Lily gave Dorea a brief but firm hug, whispering, "I'll speak with him."

On her way out of the kitchen she nearly collided with Charlus and not sure of his mood, gave him a brief hug as well.

"Thank you both for dinner!"

Lily rushed through the house, taking her coat from a waiting house elf, and met up with James outside. She was shrugging the coat on over her dress as she approached him slowly. He was breathing heavily and staring out at the road with his hands jammed in his pockets.

"Ready to go?"

Lily nodded and accepted his arm in silence.

**A/N**** Thank you so much to those of you who leave me reviews/messages. (Including my anon's who have been faithfully leaving their thoughts) It means a lot that you're reading and care enough to keep up with the story. **

**Also, School is officially starting so keep the motivation coming!**

**Elizabeth: As far as any Remus/Lily vibes are concerned: Yes, Remus has feelings for Lily. (I feel like I can reveal that at this point. It isn't really a secret or supposed to be a huge shock) However, I didn't want to frame his feelings for her as a huge plot line. To my way of thinking, Remus is so incredibly loyal to the Marauder's that I cannot picture him attempting to act on how he feels once Lily and James were married. You were right about some hint dropping, though! Thanks for the great review. **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** It's been ages. I know! Predictably, school and life have gotten hectic. If you ever want to chat, I spend a fair amount of my down time on tumblr. You can find me at .com where I fangirl over all things HP. I'd love to hear from all of you.

Remember, we left off with Mr. Potter being cross with James. More will be revealed as to why things got so testy between them. On with the chapter!

**Chapter 14: Keep on keeping on **

"**Show me a family without dysfunction and I'll show you that they aren't a real family. What? Just me?"**

**-Diary of Sirius Black, September 1977**

As soon as they arrived home, James started upstairs with an angry jerk of his tie. Lily followed slowly, first stopping off at her room to change into her night clothes and then stopping by his bedroom.

The door was wide open as he had already changed and was tossing his clothes in the basket. Lily rapped lightly as she leaned against the doorframe.

"I'm making tea if you'd like any."

She didn't give him the opportunity to answer but made her way downstairs and into the kitchen. She was sipping from her teacup when he joined her, accepting the cup she poured for him and joining her at the counter.

"Have you seen today's Prophet?"

"No, I haven't."

Without saying anything, James produced a copy and placed it in front of her on the counter. Lily winced at the pictures splashed across the front, featuring all of the Marauders but focusing mostly on James with the caption_: Late Night for Canon's Star; Out of Control or Letting off Steam? _

She skimmed the two page article and cringed at the damning photos that accompanied it. In one, James was shown stumbling and bleary eyed outside of Cotter's Pub with Remus and Sirius supporting him. In another he was bruised and laughing, supposedly after the brawl had occurred.

"My father saw the paper and owled me earlier. Needless to say, he wasn't pleased."

"Ah. That explains your mother dragging me into the kitchen," Lily glanced at James apologetically, "And the yelling."

James looked horrified and dropped his head in his hands. "You heard us?"

"It was pretty muffled, but I heard some."

They finished their tea in silence. Lily was rinsing her cup when James turned off the tap so she would look at him.

"I am sorry, you know. I don't want you to have to deal with any fallout because of the pictures."

"I'm sure I won't."

"Either way, I am sorry."

Before she could think too much about it, Lily dried her hands on a nearby towel and placed her hand on top of his on the counter. Tentatively, she flexed her fingers before loosely twining them with his. She inched closer so their shoulders bumped and ducked her head so she was staring at the floor. The warmth of his hand seeped into hers as the kitchen was blanketed in complete silence.

"It's forgotten."

* * *

From her first shift, Lily made it a priority to set aside as much time as possible to visit with William Healy. She wasn't sure when he would be going home and would stop by his room to say goodnight, just in case he was discharged the next morning. When she made the switch to afternoon shift she would stop after dinner and before his bedtime.

He was a quiet boy by nature. Each night when Lily sat on the edge of his bed and offered him a sweet she would listen about his family and the little boys and girls he played with near his home. What he lacked in boisterous nature, William made up for with a keen intelligence and sense of adventure.

It went without saying that Lily fell a little bit in love with the boy the more she spoke with him.

Lily was running late during her afternoon shift and brought her dinner with her into William's room. He was reading one of his adventure books, his light head bent over the text, when she walked in and seated herself at his bedside.

He finished the page and marked it with a scrap of paper before addressing Lily.

"Hello, Healer Evans."

"Hello, William. How is your book?"

William's eyes shone with excitement and Lily chuckled as she reached into her bag for her sandwich. "It's wonderful. Mum used to read it to me but I've read it on my own loads of times."

"You must really like it."

"I do. I've never seen a dragon before, mum says they're dangerous. But they have pictures."

Lily glanced at the page he held up for her to see, watching as the dragon tossed its head and breathed a stream of fire toward the reader. "They're quite large. You aren't afraid of them?"

"No," William said the book aside and folded his hands in his lap with a serene smile. "Mum and dad say dragons are wicked dangerous but I want to work with them when I'm older."

"You do?"

"Yes. I can, too, once I'm done with school."

"You'll certainly never be bored," Lily selected a lolly out of her pocket at random and passed it off to William as she tucked into her food.

"What flavor is it?"

Lily shrugged. "You'll have to taste it and see."

William peeled the wrapper away slowly and took a testing lick.

"Banana crème!"

"I've certainly had worse."

"Me too," William looked thoughtful. "Won't you have one?"

"I have to finish my dinner first."

"Well, I haven't had mine yet. How come I can have one?"

"Adventurers need sweets to keep up their strength. I'm no adventurer, William."

William seemed pleased by her answer and settled back in bed with his treat.

* * *

Lily was dressing for dinner when a thought struck her and managed to send her into a complete panic. She struggled with the zipper on her dress, cursing as it gave her trouble as she flew down the hall.

She came to stop in front of James' room, watching while he flicked the last button of his dress shirt into place. She said nothing as he smoothed the shirt, made sure it was tucked in properly. There was a look of concentration on his face, the eyes behind his glasses narrowed with razor sharp focus as he briefly studied himself in the mirror. Lily smiled as he took inventory and she was smiling when he caught her gaze in the mirror and laughed.

"Spying on me?"

"Maybe."

Lily entered the room, stepping over his Quidditch gear as she went to take a seat on the edge of his bed. She tucked her dress beneath her body to keep it from wrinkling as she beckoned for him to join her.

"What's on your mind, Evans?"

Instead of answering directly, Lily took a steadying breath and reached for James' hand. He said nothing as she tugged him forward with halting steps until he stood directly in front of her. She looked up at him, pausing at the uncertainty she read in his gaze.

"I'm scared."

The look cleared and a smile overtook James' features. Lily found some comfort in that smile and the mischief she saw there. It was familiar and gave her no small amount of confidence when he squeezed her hand in his.

"You have no reason to be afraid."

"I know I shouldn't be. It's my family and I love them…"

James dropped onto the bed next to her, nudging her shoulder when she didn't continue right away.

"I love them but they don't know me anymore, haven't for some time."

"Maybe tonight will go toward fixing that."

"Maybe."

Still holding hands, James stood and helped Lily to her feet. He dropped a friendly kiss on her temple as he led her toward the door.

"Stop worrying, Evans. There's no way it can be as bad as you think."

* * *

Lily chose the restaurant in Muggle London. She arrived with James precisely at seven, surprised to find that her family was already seated.

Lily halted and considered bolting through the door. She could see her father's hair, grayer than she remembered. Her mum was smiling while Petunia appeared to be sighing over whatever her male companion was saying.

It would have been easy to bolt. She could always send a letter telling them that she'd fallen ill at the last minute. They could reschedule, do all of this another time.

Lily was already mentally out the door and dry heaving in the parking lot when James lifted her hand and settled it firmly in the crook of his arm. He smiled down at her, gently patting the arm laced with his as he guided her to the table without comment.

"There you are!"

"Lily, you look lovely."

Introductions were made quickly with much rambling chatter and polite smiles. Lily was seated next to her mum and looked across the table as James settled in between Vernon and Petunia. Drinks were ordered and menus passed around.

It wasn't until drinks were in hand that conversation turned to the personal.

James was ready for it, knew all along it would happen eventually. He answered questions about his work, doing his best to explain that he was an athlete who brought in a reasonable salary. Mr. and Mrs. Evans were polite and asked questions about his family, but James could detect more than a little skepticism and mistrust coming from Petunia and Vernon.

He wasn't sure what it was they had to be skeptical about, but for his part he mostly ignored the undercurrent of hostility and enjoyed the company and his drink.

Lily seemed to settle in somewhat once the food arrived. Things were mostly going well and she seemed to let out her pent up tension and even managed to smile at him a handful of times.

Perhaps, James admitted later, he would have sensed the impending catastrophe if he had been paying closer attention. As it was, he was too busy memorizing each look that Lily sent his way to notice the murderous expression that took up residence on Petunia Evans' face when Mr. Evans commented on Lily's wedding ring.

It was an easy mistake, all things considered. It was the soft light and Lily's smile. The way she would laugh and catch his eye; the laugh softening and his eyes taking in the way her dress flowed over her body like it had been painted on.

He was unprepared when Mr. Evans took Lily's hand in his own. A swift look passed between father and daughter, in which Lily's face lost some of its color and Mr. Evans' face reddened considerably.

"Flower, what's that on your hand?"

Mrs. Evans glanced over and gasped at the same time that Petunia's mouth fell open and Vernon sneered into his entrée. James sat up straighter in his chair and tried to catch Lily's eye, tried to let her know that it would be okay, but she resolutely kept her eyes elsewhere.

"I was trying to figure out the best way to tell you. I wanted it to be a s-surpise," Lily swiped her napkin over her lips before continuing, "James and I were married recently."

Mrs. Evans didn't appear angry so much as shocked as her eyes filled and the hand she placed over her mouth trembled."Oh, Lily."

"It was small," Lily lied smoothly. "We just wanted to have something intimate. We didn't want to wait."

The table fell silent and James took the opportunity to locate Lily's leg beneath the table and give it a quick bump. She looked at him then, still shaken but doing her best to smile as her family struggled to process the news.

James smiled back, secretly itching for another drink. The need increased when Mr. Evans turned away from Lily to zero in on him. Years of fatherly disappointment had prepared him for this moment. James was used to his own father's disapproval when it came to his antics; it wouldn't be surprising in the least if Mr. Evans gave him a piece of his mind.

"You love her."

James didn't as much as breathe. He wasn't sure if anyone else was staring at him, but he could feel the exact spot on his face where Lily's eyes were fixated. His skin burned as if she was touching him, and it was all he could do not to shout for another drink or run as fast as his legs would carry him from the restaurant.

"Yes."

James saw the look of pain flash across Mr. Evans' face; the realization that his youngest girl was married and had already hurtled into adulthood without allowing him to properly prepare. James felt for the man and would have said something, anything to make the situation easier, if Mrs. Evans hadn't immediately started in on asking more questions.

James slumped back in his chair when Mr. Evans' gaze shifted to Lily. He saw the older man reach to take her hand in his own. She smiled brilliantly then, completely at ease, as she gazed adoringly at her misty eyed father.

When conversation slowed some time later, Mrs. Evans cleared her throat and commented, "I remember Petunia saying she has something to discuss with us as well. What a night for it!"

"It's not important."

James raised an eyebrow as he sipped from his drink; amused at the eldest Evans and her gift for sulking.

"Nonsense, dear. It's a night for good news. Your father and I are all ears."

Petunia slapped her napkin down on the table and glared pointedly at Lily. "Not that it matters, but Vernon's asked me to marry him."

"Petunia…" Every trace of Lily's smile vanished as she sat forward in her chair, as if reaching out to her sister without the proper words to do so.

"I said yes," Petunia continued with a cruel twist of her mouth. "We'll be married later this year. Not that it matters since Lily's already gone and gotten married straight out of school."

"Petunia, really-"

"We haven't heard a word from you in ages and suddenly you come to dinner with some bloke no one's heard of and expect us to be pleased that you've married him?"

"I don't," Lily shook her head miserably, "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

"Did he knock you up?" Petunia hissed. Vernon looked properly scandalized and began finishing off his drink at an alarming rate. "You'll have freaky kids who go to that freaky school. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Mr. and Mrs. Evans each looked pained, resigned to the tension between their girls. James saw Lily flinch and struggle helplessly against her sister's cruelty.

"Lily isn't pregnant." James smiled at Petunia's obvious embarrassment at being addressed by him. "We're not really thinking along the lines of kids and nappies yet. A bit young, still have things to do before that. I was lucky your sister said yes when I asked her. She made me work for it, to be sure. But I won her over in the end."

"It's a wonder anyone wanted her, with all that talk of magic." Vernon remarked snidely.

"It's unnatural," Petunia's voice became shrill as she spoke. "Should have known she'd marry one of her lot."

"Petunia, that's enough." Mr. Evans said with an edge of steel in his voice.

"Hold on, what's this about "her lot"?" James demanded.

"Freaks," Petunia spat, ignoring her father. "The lot of you."

"Freaky magic nonsense." Vernon mumbled.

"That's rich coming from a Muggle-"

"What did you call her?" Vernon demanded. "I don't appreciate your tone, boy."

"Boy?" James snorted and sat back in his chair, enjoying the way the man's face turned an alarming shade of purple. "You must be, what, three year older than me?"

"James, don't bother-"

"I will not have my fiancé disrespected by the likes of _you_!"

It was at this point that Lily appeared to give up entirely on the situation. She kissed her father's cheek out of habit and scraped her chair back from the table.

"This is ridiculous. We're leaving."

"As you wish, love."

When he took a last look at the table, his hand hovering over Lily's back as they walked away, James caught sight of Petunia whispering furiously with her mother as Vernon glared at their exit and Mr. Evans shook his head sadly.

It wasn't until they were out of the restaurant and had stepped into the cold, rainy evening that Lily began to laugh. She pressed her face into his shoulder, muffling the sound as his arm came around her. He wasn't sure how long they stood that way. He only knew that suddenly his shirt was damp from more than just rainwater and Lily was holding onto him tightly.

James felt a pang in his chest as he swept a hand over her flaming hair, absorbing each of her shuddering breaths.

"Okay. Let's get you home."

* * *

Lily wasn't sure whose idea it had been to bring out the Firewhiskey. In the grand scheme of things, it didn't really matter whose idea it was.

The rest of the night passed in a tangle of images. The record player was always in the background, strains of music keeping them company as they changed into pajamas and came back downstairs to finish off the last of the pudding. They lounged on the floor of the living room, ignoring the perfectly good sofa so they could stretch out fully and take turns filling their bellies with sweets as they sipped from the same bottle.

At one point, Lily remembered stretching out with her head at James' feet. Her stomach was full from the alcohol as well as the dessert and despite the disastrous dinner, she felt a swell of contentment that defied explanation.

"What's that smile for?"

"I have no idea."

"Come off it, Evans. No one smiles without having a perfectly good reason."

"How it must feel to be so suspicious of smiles."

James snorted and Lily laughed into her hand. She rolled onto her side, feeling a persistent ache in her back from the unforgiving floor.

"I love her you know. She was awful tonight but we can all be that way."

_Silence_.

"I love her."

"I know."

* * *

Lily woke up as James was mounting the stairs. Her face was pressed into his chest so she could smell his soap from the shower and the laundry soap from his shirt. His arms were tight around her, keeping her steady as they ascended.

She wasn't even afraid of falling when he held her that way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Onward **

"**There's nothing quite like a Bludger to the gut. It takes the wind out of you, makes your head spin from the force of it. Then again, maybe you can compare a Bludger to snogging, if it's done properly."**

**-Diary of James Potter, September 1977**

* * *

"Prongs."

"No."

"I didn't even finish was I was going to-"

James rolled over, bringing the pillow with him in order to drown out Sirius' voice. It was early, he knew that much. The sun wasn't up and a steady rain was tapping against the roof, making it easy to close his eyes and fall back to-

"You can't fall back to sleep, mate. Do you smell that?"

"I don't want to smell anything. I want to _sleep_-"

"Evans is making breakfast."

James groaned at the thought of a warm meal. He was so close to shutting his eyes and falling back asleep but the temptation of breakfast was enough to have him attempting to sit up.

"Merlin, how much did we drink last night?"

Sirius swam into focus. He was cradling a mug of something warm, taking a few healthy sips every so often as if it was a lifeline. With James' question he appeared thoughtful and frowned as he considered the events of the night before.

"I'm not entirely sure."

"Is Moony still here?"

"I believe he popped into the loo for a shower."

"Too early-"

"James, are you aware of today's date?"

"Why should I…" James trailed off as his mind went to work in an attempt to process such basic information. At first he came up blank. He was tired and still a little drunk. His stomach was growling and he needed a shower.

And then the date slammed into him and he rocketed out of bed.

"Bugger-"

"Your first match is in exactly two hours and you're just remembering. Honestly, Prongs, where are your priorities?"

"I think I was looking for them at the bottom of a bottle of Firewhiskey last night."

"And did you locate them?" James couldn't be sure, as he was dragging a shirt over his head while they spoke, but Sirius sounded entirely too amused.

"Apparently not."

* * *

"You've got your gear?"

"Of course," James patted the bag slung over his shoulder with a grin.

"Right. And you remembered to have your broom checked-"

"They checked my broom. Everything is in working order."

"Of course," Lily fiddled with the strap of her purse as players streamed past them into the locker room.

It was silly, she knew, but her stomach was in knots. She wasn't sure how the other family members were doing it, but she was having the hardest time saying goodbye and letting James get on with things. He still had to change and warm up. The stands were already full but instead of feeling a rush of excitement like the others, the roar of the crowd only served to make her stomach rebel further.

"Well, I-"

"I'm sure-"

They spoke at the same time. Flustered, Lily dropped her gaze to the grimy tiled floor and shook her head as a smile fought its way onto her lips.

"Go ahead."

"You first."

"I was just going to say, I'm sure you'll do fine."

"Of course I will. I've been training for this match for ages."

Lily's hand tightened on her bag until she felt a larger hand settle over hers. Behind his glasses, James' eyes had softened as he suddenly understood her hesitation to leave. He shifted slightly closer and dipped his head so they wouldn't be overheard.

"You're worrying. Stop it."

Lily blew out a breath that ended on a laugh. "I'll try."

"Good." He removed his hand and stepped back, cocky smile back in place as he gave her a cheeky salute and disappeared into the locker room.

Lily made her way back to the box where the Marauder's were settling in with food and drinks all around. Despite the fact that it was cold and rainy, the box had a cozy heating charm and oversized chairs for the family members to curl up in while they watched the game.

Peter offered her a glass of champagne but Lily refused and settled for a lukewarm cup of tea that one of the elves delivered. She sat in silence, laughing along with the others but mostly tuning out to what was going on around her. When Peter and Remus left the box to chat with other fans, Lily was left with her tea and an inquisitive Sirius Black.

"Evans, you might hurt yourself if you keep staring that way."

"I appreciate your concern."

The pair lapsed into a steady silence that neither was willing to break. Lily continued looking out at the pitch for any sign of movement, aware of Sirius' stormy gaze on her face. She wasn't sure what he was looking at and was even more curious as to what it was that he was seeing.

It wasn't so noticeable when Remus and Peter were around but there was a strange uneasiness that accompanied her interactions with Sirius whenever they were alone. They got along well enough, mostly, but there were times when it felt as though he was watching her, waiting for her next move. As if she it was only a matter of time before she made an unforgiveable misstep.

"Black?" Lily glanced away from the field, catching him openly staring. She was unnerved by the intensity she saw there but held his gaze as the crowd cheered around them.

"Hmm?"

"I'm worried."

"Okay."

"You're not?"

"No," Sirius shook his head and looked away. When he looked back at her, his lips were twisted into a parody of a smile that did nothing to put her at ease. "I have faith in him."

* * *

The match started out innocently enough; as innocently as a Quidditch match could, at any rate.

James was prepared for the driving rain and the way the wind tossed him and his broom around like he was a ragdoll. He was focused and nonverbal communication among the team was excellent.

It was toward the end of the game, when the score was tied up and each team was getting desperate enough to start taking cheap shots. James managed to keep up with the other team, fighting the exhaustion that was taking hold as the Seekers struggled to locate the Snitch.

James should have seen it coming. In fact, it was such a rookie mistake that he would have gladly let the fall kill him so he wouldn't have to face everyone after.

It could have been taken out of a playbook from back at his Hogwarts matches. He was distracted already by the weather and the miserable chill rattling his body, and then he was thrown off guard by their Chaser pulling up short. To compensate, he stopped abruptly and then knew nothing as was thrown forward, falling toward the ground with the horrified sounds of the crowd accompanying him on his way down.

Lily didn't realize she was moving until she was bounding down the stairs and past the stunned crowd, with a narrow determination. She maneuvered around the shocked faces of the spectators, all while searching for the entrance to the medical quarters and trying not to lose her footing on the slick steps. She could hear Remus directly behind her and felt his hand on her back as he grabbed a fistful of her sweater to keep her from losing her balance.

Lily stopped and looked about wildly for any indication that they were headed in the right direction. Over the harsh sounds of her breathing and the steady buzz of the crowd, she heard the heated curses coming from Sirius while Peter rambled nonsense from his place at the rear of the group.

"He was so high up. How could anyone fall from that high and-"

"-to the left. They have a room set up."

"-live? What if he isn't-"

"Pete, I'm going to need you to shut the fuck up or I swear to Merlin-"

"There!" Lily spotted the yellow sign and pushed her way toward it without caring of the Marauder's chose to follow or not.

The man blocking the entrance hardly glanced up as the four drenched Gryffindor's approached and skidded to a halt in front of him. Lily's teeth were chattering, freezing from the rain but mostly numb from the overlapping shock and worry.

"Name?"

"Lily Evans Potter. I need to know where they've taken James Potter-"

"Your relation to Mr. Potter?"

"I'm his wife. We saw what ha-"

"Do you have identification? I'm afraid I can't release any information on Mr. Potter without some form of identification."

Sirius let out a string of cleverly phrased obscenities and Lily might have joined him if she hadn't spotted Dorian Keller deep in conversation with one of the Mediwitches.

Lily flew past the man blocking the door, leaving him to deal with the Marauder's as the captain of the Canons took in her shaken appearance with a frown.

"I was coming to find you-"

"Dorian, have they taken James to St. Mungo's?"

"Merlin, no. Lily, he was picked up by another player before he could hit the ground. It was a close call but-"

"Evans."

James had his glasses off as one of the Mediwitches checked his vision to make sure everything was in working order, but he recognized the blurry flame of Lily's hair and the insistence in her tone as she pressed Dorian for information. He was in the process of fumbling for his glasses when the bed dipped and two chilled hands came to rest on either side of his face.

"You're not dead."

"Fortunately, no."

"I didn't see you right yourself."

"I scared you."

"Yes."

"I didn't mean to."

Her hands left his face as she leaned in, a blur of color that drew closer until he could feel her breath fan across his face. James could have cared less about his glasses when he felt her lean even closer, her chest brushing his arm as her lips settled over his.

He was surprised by how soft she was. A familiar shock settled over him at the softness of her body, and the electricity of her lips touching his. His focus narrowed only to the feel of her and the itch that started in his hands and rushed through his arms to feel more of her.

He might have acted on impulse and hauled her closer for a proper snog if she hadn't pulled away and settled his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He was relieved to see that she was smiling as her hand crept across the sheets to find his.

"No more lazing in bed, Potter. While you were getting your beauty rest, your Seeker managed to catch the Snitch."

"We won?"

"We won. If you're up to it, we have a party to get to."

* * *

They made it back to Godric's Hollow sometime after sunrise. They had spent the evening and much of the night at the house of a perfect stranger who had a music collection that begged for guests to dance, and a constant flow of alcohol.

They wouldn't remember much of it; only a handful of faces and the way their hands brushed and then linked when they staggered inside and made the journey up the stairs.

James wasn't sure what to do with his hands. He stood in the doorway of her bedroom, enchanted by the tidiness and the way it carried the scent of her perfume. Lily laughed and bumped his chin with her nose.

"That wasn't very funny."

"Hmm?"

"What happened today."

"That. I know it wasn't."

"Goodnight, Potter."

"Goodnight, Evans."

Neither of them moved. Lily slapped a hand over her mouth as her laughter spilled into the hallway. James wasn't sure what was so funny but he found himself laughing as he brought a hand up to cradle her head as she rested it against his chest.

"We're supposed to be sleeping, you know. The sun is out."

"I know."

They stayed like that for some time; with his hands smoothing over her hair and her face pressed into his chest, her breathing soft and even.

Their smiles carried them off to separate beds.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Halloween **

"**It's never dull. What of it if we can't remember a few night's here and there? I guess that just means we are having a good time."**

**-Diary of Remus Lupin, October 1977**

* * *

It was going to be the event heard round the Wizarding world. The papers were doing frantic write-ups, salivating over the guest list and already predicting the delicious gossip that would emerge from the hedonistic goings on of a Halloween party being thrown by Sirius Black.

Remus flipped to the second page of the Prophet and chucked it as Sirius sent a particularly lavicious wink in the general direction of the photographer.

"That's not very nice of you."

"My apologies. Should I have saved the clipping and charmed it to the refrigerator?"

Sirius sniffed as he moved about the shabby kitchen, and helped himself to a cup of tea. He shrugged off his coat and joined Remus at the counter, snatching the last biscuit for good measure.

He bit into the biscuit, remarking around a mouthful, "You could have at least waited until I left before you tossed it."

"Speaking of leaving-"

"Rude."

"-I'm heading out. Skip the rubbish and tell me what you wanted to discuss so I can get started on my errands."

"Fine, then. If we're getting directly to the heart of things, I wanted to speak to you about a bird Clover knows."

"What about her?"

"You'll be accompanying her to the party. Her name is Clare. She likes greasy pub food, fashion-"

"I don't bloody well care what she likes!"

"She's a model. No major breaks yet, but Clover has worked with her. She looks like a bit of all right."

Obviously horrified, Remus dropped his head into his hands. Sirius clapped a hand on his shoulder and gathered his coat as he rose.

"See? That didn't take long at all."

"Padfoot, I'm not doing this."

"You are, actually." Sirius adjusted his coat, plucking off invisible lint as Remus swung from abject humiliation to horrible understanding.

"Sirius, it's not necessary."

Sirius' expression sobered as Remus' gaze lowered guiltily to the table.

"It is, mate. You'll give this Clare a chance and be better for it."

"You're going to need to spell out for me why I would ever agree to this."

Sirius was quiet, then, staring out the only window in the kitchen rather than look Remus in the eye. "You're going to do this to forget whatever it is you've been thinking about Lily. You're going to go through with it because you don't want to hurt James, and if he knew what I do, he'd be crushed."

Sirius hated the look on Remus' face, just as he knew there was nothing he could do to change it.

"She'll be outside of the flat at nine. Wear something sexy."

* * *

"Evans, if we don't get a move on, we'll be late. Which would be fine, but then we'll have to listen to Sirius complain-"

"I'm coming! Keep your gear on."

James stopped adjusting the gear in question, and watched his wife come downstairs. She had been adamant in her refusal to show him her costume ahead of time. He had been left to wonder about what in Merlin's name she'd be wearing to Sirius' sexy costume party, and the suspense had been doing wicked things with his imagination.

Now, she came down the stairs and stopped at the very last step to grin at him and do a quick twirl.

"You're a pumpkin," James said with some surprise.

"I'm a pumpkin," Lily confirmed with a huge smile. "I thought I might as well go for it. I've already got the hair."

James was torn between the desire to laugh outright, and the more urgent need to haul her off the last step and taste those smiling lips. There was nothing remotely sexy about the costume. It was large and round, and while Evans was adorable in it, it swallowed most of her torso and legs in orange fabric.

They would make an odd pair, with him wearing his Quidditch uniform as a gag, and Lily in her pumpkin.

"It suits you," James finally said, meaning it.

"Thank you, Potter. I happen to think arrogant Quidditch star was a proper choice on your part," Lily teased as she stepped into the Floo.

The Black flat was already crowded when they arrived. Their ears were assailed with music that inspired dancing; their eyes drawn to spooky ornaments floating throughout the room in order to make the party festive.

Together, they stepped into a sea of people who they hardly recognized in their sexy attire.

"Prongs! Mrs. Prongs, lovely of you to join us."

Lily had to slap a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, as Sirius made his way through the crowd in his costume. It wasn't that he didn't look dashing as a sexy pirate, but it was still a shock to see so much of Sirius Black that it was impossible to keep from laughing.

"Has Mrs. Padfoot seen your costume, mate?"

"She has, indeed. Said I looked good enough to eat."

"Rather not think of that. Thanks for mentioning it."

"Any time," Sirius grinned in Lily's direction as he backed away, "I have to mingle with the rest of the guests, but I'll catch up with you later."

* * *

Remus was outside of Sirius' flat at exactly nine o'clock, out of costume and freezing his bollocks off. He was tired, nothing new there as the moon always seemed to be throwing off his sleep, and more than a little cranky thanks to the situation he found himself in.

He understood the reasoning behind what Sirius was doing. It was unnecessary and intrusive, but he understood it. He knew that Sirius would do anything to keep the Marauder's together, to make sure that their friendship remained solid.

In his eyes, finding Remus a bird was of paramount importance. There was an unspoken agreement that James would never be allowed to know the extent of Remus' feelings for Lily, however jumbled they were. Instead, they would do their best to move Remus on to someone new; someone kind and caring, preferably someone who wasn't married to one of their best friend's.

It was all of those things that kept Remus outside, instead of giving up and going inside to nurse a few drinks in a corner of the room.

"Excuse me. Is this the Black residence?"

"It is," Remus gestured vaguely, longing for a cigarette. "If you have your invitation, press it against the door and you'll be let in."

"Thank you, but I'm waiting for someone."

At her words, Remus halted in his pursuit of locating a stray cigarette in his pocket, in order to really look at the woman fully.

She was shorter than him, just enough so she tilted her head slightly to look into his eyes, and outlandishly pretty. He wasn't sure why, but the fact that she was attractive irritated him to no end. It was most likely due to the way she was looking at him, with a smile that was charmingly crooked smile and friendly vibrancy in her blue eyes.

"You're Clare?"

"I am. Remus?"

"Yes," he said flatly. "Come on in. The party is in full swing."

Clare followed him upstairs, stopping dead in the doorway to gape at the lavish scene.

"Goodness."

"Sirius likes to do things elaborately or not at all."

"I can see that."

Uncomfortable with the entire situation, Remus rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, and tossed his head in the direction of the drink table.

"Can I get you one?"

"Sure. Whatever they have is fine."

"They have a bit of everything, really."

Together, they settled in on one of the couches that had been placed around the room with plump pillows for comfortable lounging. It was difficult to hear over the music, but they made do with the polite introductions and conversation.

After a period of silence, Clare placed a hand on Remus' knee and leaned in to ask, "Would you like to dance?"

"Sure."

She leaned back, studying him intently, before looking away and shaking her head. She finished the rest of her drink, and said nothing as she pulled on her coat.

"What are you doing?"

Clare waved him way. She marched through the throng of guests and back out into the cool night, with Remus on her heels.

"You're leaving?"

When she rounded on him, temper sparking in her eyes, Remus took an automatic step back.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is, and I really don't have any incentive to care, but I'm not going to spend my evening with a man I can tell isn't remotely interested in getting to know me."

"That isn't-"

"It is true. You're lackluster and grumpy, and I should have just come to the party alone."

"I'm sorry for spoiling your evening," Remus said, allowing just enough bitter sarcasm to slip through to allow Clare's anger to shoot to another level.

"Go to hell," she spat, giving him a last scathing look before walking into the night.

Remus watched her go, cursing under his breath. He sent up a prayer that Padfoot wouldn't learn about this little disaster, and immediately went in search of a drink.

* * *

Despite the girth of her costume, Lily found that it was remarkably easy to dance as a pumpkin. She laughed with Frank Longbottom and a host of others from Hogwarts, but ended the evening dancing with James.

They refused to take themselves too seriously. The ebb and flow of the crowd did not touch the Potter's as they kept up a steady stream of chatter and laughed at their missteps.

Even when Lily felt liquid splash over her neck and dribble down below her collar, she laughed and attempted to wipe it away, ineffectively.

"What?" James yelled above the music.

"Someone spilled their drink on me!"

"Here," James linked their hands loosely, "Let's get you to the loo."

They made their way through the crowd together, bypassing the snogging couples and reckless dancers.

When they reached the loo, Lily shut the door behind them, effectively blocking out some of the dance music as she worked to get out of her costume. It was a struggle, and she practically ripped it off in frustration.

One look at James, who was grinning with a damp cloth in hand, had her fighting away a grin.

"I know you're not laughing at me; because, as your wife, I do not find Firewhiskey down the back of my sweater all that funny."

"I wouldn't dream of laughing," James promised through his grin. "Turn around, then, and I'll mop it up."

Lily obliged and scooped her hair off her neck so he could wipe away the Firewhiskey and dry her skin with another cloth. She was grateful for his help, and then she was aware of his hands on her skin and forgot her gratitude.

His hands were warm, gentle as they moved aside the fabric of her sweater to dab at her skin.

Lily shivered out of nowhere.

"Sorry," James said quietly.

Lily released her hair and faced him. She took the cloth he had been using and tossed it into the sink.

"Don't be sorry."

James smirked and fixed the collar of her sweater. "I take it back then."

Lily considered telling him what a prat he was, but pressed her lips against his instead. She shifted closer and then broke the kiss, pulling back fractionally.

"James?"

"Hmm?" His arms were already sliding around her waist as she spoke.

"I'm going to try something. Okay?"

"Okay."

Lily kissed him again. There was nothing quick or testing about it as their bodies collided, shifting in the small space of the loo. As James pulled her closer, Lily felt a thrill start in her toes and work its way through the rest of her.

Her hands found his neck and then her fingers were threading through the hair there, and she was lost. Lily wasn't sure where the sound came from, but she heard a low moan escape her when James' lips strayed to her jaw, and she jerked, startled.

"Wait."

James' eyes were hooded and his fingers tightened around her waist, but he nodded. "Okay."

"Okay."

Lily pressed one hand against his chest, thinking."As far as experiments go, I'd say that was a success." A horrible thought struck Lily and she glanced up sharply, instantly mortified. What if it wasn't a success from James' point of view? What if it was a disaster? Oh, Merlin, and she moaned-

"It was outstanding. As far as experiments go, it was bloody brilliant."

"You aren't just saying that?"

James laughed outright, but sobered quickly. "I wouldn't just say something like that if I didn't mean it, Evans. If you were a lousy kisser, I'd at least have the decency to tell you."

"Me? Who said anything about me being the awful one?"

"I certainly didn't."

Laughingly, Lily gripped his face in her hands and drew him close, until their noses were touching. "Prat."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Little Talks**

"**It was bound to change eventually. Nothing can go along and stay the same forever."**

**-Diary of Lily Evans, November 1977**

Lily was on her second cup of tea by the time James made it down the next morning. She heard the distinct pattern of his footfalls on the stairs and put all her effort into appearing calm.

It was easier said than done due to the fact that she was sporting an admirable case of bed head and still in her pajamas. She cursed herself for not thinking to brush her teeth before she came down and then cursed herself again for thinking that way. What did it matter if she hadn't gotten to it yet?

Unless of course it was because she was thinking about kissing James Potter; kissing him the way she had the night before, as if their lives depended on it.

"Morning, Evans."

"Morning. I made tea."

"Brilliant."

Lily picked up the paper and pretended to read. To her consternation the lines blurred together as she became more aware of the way her husband's bed head defied gravity than whatever headlines made up the news of the day. It was infuriating, watching James calmly drop bread in the toaster and rifle through the fridge to locate jam.

He even had the nerve to smile at her around the slice of toast lodged in his mouth as he approached the table and grabbed the Prophet from her.

"Just need to check the scores from last week's matches."

"Be my guest."

Lily allowed her tea to cool without taking another sip. She picked at the piece of toast that James placed in front of her, too lost in thought to even feign interest in her breakfast. She was entirely absorbed in thoughts about the party, specifically the somewhat drunken kiss that had transpired in the loo of the Black residence.

By the time she carried her dishes to the sink, glaring as she passed James whose nose was still stuck in the paper, she decided that he didn't even remember the encounter. There was no use mentioning it and furthering her embarrassment.

"Do you need to use the loo? I'm going to shower."

"It's all yours," James remarked without bothering to glance up.

Indulging her frustration, Lily poked her tongue out at him on her way out of the kitchen.

Lily went through the motions of preparing for her day. She selected an outfit, something comfortable for her weekly day-off cleaning ritual. She showered, dressed, and started on the heap of laundry with a mechanical detachment that wasn't worth thinking about.

An hour later, when she was still folding the same sock with ridiculous precision, Lily decided that enough was enough. Work normally soothed her by providing a distraction for her thoughts. Today it proved useless in that regard and she was sick to death of replaying what had happened the night before.

If she was being honest with herself, which she tried very hard to be, she admitted that it stung to think that James didn't remember a kiss that rocked the normally steadfast sense of normalcy of her new life. Errant kisses had happened before and would happen again in the world. Lily knew that. But this wasn't just one, tiny slip.

It was a huge leap that as of now, felt certain to end in a crash landing.

Lily abandoned the laundry she had been so fastidiously organizing in favor of locating James. After poking her head in his room and coming up empty, she took the stairs two at a time and found him in the kitchen, taking care of the dishes.

Lily stopped in the doorway and fumed as the sound of his whistling reached her ears. Whistling! The man who hated cleaning up around the house was actually _smiling_ and whistling some ridiculous tune.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking care of the dishes," He replied without bothering to turn around. "What are you up to?"

"I have been folding the same bloody sock for the past hour."

"That's rather odd."

"I'll tell you what's odd. Kissing your wife at a party and then not so much as mentioning it over tea the next morning."

Having captured his attention, James finished the dish he was on and turned as he swiped it dry with a dish towel.

"As far as I know, spouses kiss all the time."

"Of course this is a joke to you," Lily fumed. "Everything is a joke, isn't it?"

James replaced the dish on the counter, far away from Lily and out of throwing range.

"No. I'm sorry but I don't understand what it is you're mad about," He patted the counter where Lily liked to sit sometimes, usually at night with a container of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other, indicating that she should join him for a chat.

Wearily, she crossed the kitchen and hopped up on the counter. Her frown clearly communicated that while she was willing to speak about what was bothering her, she didn't have to be happy about talking through it with him.

"This is about last night," James remarked evenly.

Needing something to do with his hands, he continued tending to the dishes in the sink.

"I didn't think you remembered anything from the party, to be honest."

James raised his eyebrows at that but remained turned away so she could not see his reaction. _Not remember? _As if it was possible to forget the explosive cocktail of surprise and arousal when she grabbed him for the kiss that she shyly proclaimed an "experiment".

"Mrs. Potter, are you suggesting that I don't remember you snogging me in the loo?"

"I wasn't the only one doing the snogging, for the record," Lily clarified. "I seem to remember you getting a bit handsy, _Mr. Potter_."

"I won't deny it."

"Look, it's nothing. I just don't want to waste my time being embarrassed if you didn't even remember it."

"Why would you be embarrassed?"

Lily let out a sigh and dropped her head back against the wall so she wasn't looking at him. James found it oddly adorable.

"I don't know. You certainly aren't embarrassed easily are you?"

"I don't make a habit of being embarrassed by the things I enjoy," James remarked thoughtfully.

At that, Lily dropped her head in her hands and made a low, keening noise to show her aggravation. James laughed; glad that she had cooled down enough so he could do so without the fear of being hexed, and dried his hands before gently prying her fingers away from her face so he could see her flaming cheeks.

"Lil?"

"What?"

"I have a plan."

"Do tell. I can hardly stand the suspense."

"How about this: I kiss you this time, here and now. That way we're even from last night."

"You're ridiculous."

"You're smiling."

Lily wrenched her hands away from him so she could cover her mouth. "Am not."

"Is that a no?"

Lily rolled her eyes but James could see a flicker of apprehension as took one of her hands in his and placed it on his shoulder.

"You can shoot down my plan, you know. I'm used to the rejection."

"You really are a prat," Lily laughed as she took the cotton of his shirt and rolled it between her fingers in what could have easily been a nervous gesture.

"I'm being serious."

"I know."

With that admission, Lily shifted, pulling him fractionally closer. James curved an arm around her midsection in response, his fingers flexing before settling into the softness of her waist. He waited, then, understanding that it wasn't his place to pressure her into whatever happened next. He had waited this long, he needed her to be fully on board with whatever was happening between them.

James was relieved when, finally, her lips curved into a small smile and she nodded. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his shirt as he leaned in to capture her lips. He could feel her smile against his lips and instinctively tightened his hold around her middle. She shifted closer, trailing her fingers upward so they could toy with the hair at the nape of his neck.

James was a goner. He felt chills break out over his skin and couldn't stop the moan that escaped when Lily nipped his lower lip playfully.

"I think…we're more than even," James managed when they broke apart some time later.

"I certainly feel better about the situation."

Lily attempted to keep a straight face but it soon dissolved so the kitchen was ringing with their combined laughter.

* * *

The Marauder's, while not told explicitly about the goings-on in the Potter marriage, knew there had been a change between the fiery couple.

Lily was aware of Sirius, Remus, and Peter watching the way they interacted when the three men arrived for the first of many dinners hosted at Godric's Hollow. Every hand brush and lingering look was seen and then filed away to be discussed later as a group. Under other circumstances, Lily would have resented their watchfulness. She valued privacy when it came to her personal relationships.

But something about the way the Marauder's collectively watched over each other made it less intrusive. They were always looking out for one another and the fact that Lily admired their sense of family instead of considering it an annoyance both surprised and unnerved her.

The dinner went off smoothly. Each of the men brought a dish to pass in an effort to take the burden off of James and Lily. They went through several bottles of wine over the course of the meal and by the time they finished the meal, the entire table seemed to have settled into a uplifted, if sluggish, mood.

Lily went into the kitchen to get the pudding she had prepared for dessert when a strange knocking drew her attention to the back door. They rarely used it as an entrance, certainly their friends didn't. Lily cursed her lack of wand. It was upstairs, useless to her on the nightstand by her bed.

Telling herself that she was silly for being spooked, Lily closed the refrigerator and went to the door so she could haul it open with more bravery than she felt. She wholly expected nothing more than a stray branch knocking against the door or something equally as innocent. She was stunned instead to find a bloodied Clover Brighton Black propped against the doorway.

In an instant, Lily felt the other woman's wand dig into her throat.

"I'm going to place a silencing charm on the room. You're going to take me into the pantry and heal me without any of the men knowing."

Lily opened her mouth to speak and felt the wood dig further into her skin. "Keep quiet. I'm serious about them not knowing I'm here."

Lily nodded, having enough self preservation to keep silent as Clover cast the charm. Once it was in place, Lily batted the wand away from her throat easily enough seeing as Clover could hardly stand.

She hadn't seen the other woman since the afternoon when she walked in on Clover speaking with Snape in her shop. She knew there was no hope in avoiding her former friend forever since their husbands were practically brothers. But she never dreamed that the next time they encountered one another Clover would be covered in blood and looking dead on her feet.

"What happened to you?"

It was a shock to see her in such a state. Clover was always put together, welcoming each day as another performance, using her sense of style as part of the act. She looked like an entirely different woman with her ripped clothing and blood dripping from an abrasion at her hairline.

"Get me into the pantry and I'll tell you what I can."

Together the two women made their way across the kitchen. It was a struggle with Lily supporting Clover and doing her best to hurry the injured woman along when she heard a collective of voices approaching the kitchen.

"Sit," Lily lowered Clover to the floor with as much care as possible given the urgency of the situation. "Let me get them their blasted pudding and I'll be back."

Lily emerged just in time to intercept James. She plastered a smile on her face and went to fetch the forgotten dessert.

"Everything okay in here?"

"Of course," Lily said brightly. "I thought we could use another bottle of wine."

She handed the bottle over to James with a smile and followed him out with the pudding and enough plates to go around. She sat with them for several minutes, even allowing Remus to top off her wine glass, before summoning her wand and stealing away to the pantry.

She set to work immediately, checking over Clover's battered body to locate the worst of the trauma. Eventually, when she was repaired enough to regain the color in her cheeks, Lily sat back against the opposite wall and demanded, "Talk. I want to know what's going on."

Clover peeked one eye open and then the other, measuring Lily in a way that made the red head feel thoroughly unsettled.

"Simply put, you're being recruited, Potter."

"Recruited for what?" Lily demanded.

"You've been reading the papers, haven't you?" Clover said by way of answering.

"You've heard the stories. Families disappearing and shops being destroyed. Do you really think it is an accident that only the Pureblood's haven't been targeted?"

"What does this have to do with me?"

"There is an organization that's been watching you," At Lily's horrified expression, Clover continued, "They need someone who has been trained as a Healer. More than that, they need someone who believes in what they're doing. Someone loyal, who values peace in our world."

"Do I have a choice in all of this?" Lily asked softly.

"Of course. If you're not interested, I'll Obliviate you and this conversation never happened."

Lily stared at Clover for a long moment, assessing what she'd been told and whether or not she should trust what she'd heard.

"And if I'm interested?"

A slow smile spread over Clover's battered face for the first time since she arrived. "In that case, there's a meeting at midnight with your name on it."

* * *

"Ah, Miss Evans. I am glad that you decided to come."

Outside the library at the center of Goddric's Hollow, Lily startled at the sight of her former Headmaster standing beneath the faint glow of a streetlight. His robes shimmered playfully in the light, matching the ever present twinkle in his eyes as he marked her approach.

Lily's hand clenched around her wand, asking, "What did you tell me when Alexander Yaxley called me a Mudblood in my sixth year Charms class?"

"I offered you a Lemon drop and commented that, though Yaxley is considered to come from well established lineage, he couldn't charm his way out of a paper bag," Dumbledore shook his head at the memory and offered his former student a smile. "You are very wise to question my identity, Miss Evans. Ah, excuse me, it's Mrs. Potter now, isn't it?"

"I still respond to Evans, sir."

"I fear I may lapse again over the course of our discussion," Dumbledore admitted, gesturing for her to take a seat at his side.

"Sir,I'd like to know more about why I'm here. Clover mentioned that I was being watched."

"What else did Ms. Brighton tell you?"

"Not much. She mentioned something about the rash of violence and the disappearances. I don't understand what I have to do with any of it."

"You are right to wonder. Recently it has become apparent that certain acts of violence in our world are happening, not as unfortunate accidents but thanks to deliberate planning. There is a group that has been founded with the intention of putting an end to the inclusion of Muggleborn individuals in our society. This group is gaining notoriety and claiming credit for these deeds."

Lily let the information sink in and did her best to quell the questions that sprang to mind. Later, she reminded herself. She would have a chance to ask later. Now was a time to listen, to understand.

"The Order of the Phoenix was formed to combat these ideals and prevent this group from gaining power in our world. If they were to succeed, the consequences would be most dire. We have sought you out because we need strong minds and loyal hearts, and you, my dear, would be most valuable in that regard."

Dumbledore lapsed into silence and Lily was grateful for the chance to sort out her thoughts. She was considering all the angles of what she had been told, aware of the danger but more importantly the need for her services. She trusted her former Headmaster implicitly and if he said she was needed, she believed him.

"What do I have to do?"

The older man beamed at her question and the unofficial pledge of support.

"I will need for you to take this ring," He placed a small gold band in her palm for her to examine. "It has already been sized to fit the middle finger on your right hand. You will have to wear it constantly. When you are being summoned it will heat up and give you a small window of time so you can prepare to be transported to your destination."

"Will it only take me to one place?"

"It will transport you to the location of the person who summons you."

"Do the other members have these rings?"

"Yes, but only a select few have the ability to issue a summons."

Lily digested that helpful bit of information and paused for several beats to fully internalize the ramifications of what she was about to do, before slipping the ring onto her finger.

**A/N Whew! Just as things start to go smoothly for J/L as a married couple, right? :) I am truly sorry for the long wait. Depression has been kicking my butt for awhile now and it's difficult to be productive with that going on.**

**That being said, I do want to thank everyone who reviews for encouraging me to continue. I am going to finish this story. I have a general outline and that helps me come back each time I'm gone for too long. **

**Thanks again so much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Sometimes **

"**I think we were all convinced that our adventures would end once graduation came about. I have no idea why we felt that way except that it seems like time to grow up. None of us want that."**

**-Diary of Remus Lupin, November 1977**

* * *

Over the next few weeks Lily was dismayed by how entirely _normal_ her life still felt.

The ring that Dumbledore gave her remained on her finger. She woke up sometimes in the night fearful that it would heat against her skin and she wouldn't notice until she was being transported, half asleep, to an unfamiliar location.

Those nights passed and eventually her worry lessened so she hardly remembered that it was there until the flash of gold caught her attention throughout the day.

The same could be said about her marriage. There had been an undeniable shift since their encounter in the kitchen. Friendly or inconsequential touches carried a new significance that certainly hadn't been there before. However, at the end of the day they each said goodnight and went to their respective bedrooms. They met in the kitchen each morning and had breakfast together, same as always, except now they sometimes parted ways with a fumbling kiss or prolonged embrace.

Lily hardly expected her daily routine to be thrown off but she did marvel each morning when she looked in the mirror and saw the same face instead of one that had been changed by so many remarkable things in such a short time.

She thought about it more when she arrived home from work and quickly slipped into a dress for the party at her in-law's. The Potter home was full of Ministry workers and celebrities; an interesting mix brought together to honor the birthday of a rather high up Ministry official.

By the time Lily arrived the party was in full swing. House elves were replacing trays of scrumptious finger foods and desserts and tending to guests to make sure drinks were always full. Lily immediately snapped up a small chocolate confection and glass of champagne before seeking out her husband.

After wading through the crowd and meeting enough well known men and women from the Wizarding world to make her face carry a permanent blush Lily found him chatting with a handful of people near one of the many dessert tables.

She decided to hang back, content to watch him interact with a man and woman who he had obviously known for some time as well as another woman who seemed content to remain draped over his arm.

It was funny, really, watching women and more than a few men, she suspected, fawning over her husband; mostly because, while he was an attractive man, none of them ever saw him when he wasn't dressed and ready for the public eye. They missed out on seeing him rake up the leaves in the garden, without magic, in a ratty blazer with two days of growth on his face. They would never see how messy his bedroom was or know how much he hated tidying the kitchen but did it anyway because she hated it too.

They only saw the implacably dressed, affable man who was currently laughing and sipping champagne. Nibbling her chocolate dessert and sipping from her glass, Lily smiled and decided that she felt a bit sorry for all of them.

"Lily, be a dear and fetch Charlus from the study, please. That man would stay holed up with his books forever if I let him…"

Lily felt Dorea Potter's hand on her shoulder, saw the other woman give a pained smile, before melting into the crowd to mingle with her guests. Lily gladly left the crowded area, nipping another treat off the dessert table as she went.

She knocked lightly on the door before entering Charlus Potter's sacred space. Immediately she was comforted by the smell of books and pipe tobacco. The man in question briefly glanced up when she entered before returning to the periodical in front of him.

"Did Dorea send you in already? It's a bit early, isn't it?"

"Your wife is missing you," Lily remarked as she joined him in one of the plush leather chairs. Charlus laughed at her response and accepted the treat she handed him with a fond smile.

"Thank you, Lily. Is it too much to hope that she will let me remain here for the rest of the evening? I've been enjoying an old favorite of mine."

"She just likes showing you off to everyone."

Lily selected the nearest book and began flipping through it. Charlus laughed again and settled back into his own book. Nearly two hours passed before another knock sounded at the door and James poked his head in the study.

"I'm here to steal away my wife. She's been missing for some time."

Lily sighed good-naturedly, sharing a matching look from one book lover to another with Charlus, before meeting James at the door. Immediately she was hauled into the empty hall, eliciting an undignified yelp from Lily as James pulled her flush against him and closed the door to the study.

"That's where you've been hiding away?"

"You can hardly blame me. Have you _seen_ all the books he has in there?"

James laughed and lightly brushed his lips against hers, enjoying the way she leaned in to the sensation.

"Seduced by the books. A bloke can't compete."

Lily laughed nervously and began to toy with his tie to avoid looking him in the eye.

"I wouldn't say that…"

* * *

The first time the ring activated, Lily happened to be enjoying a soak in the tub. It was the weekend after the party at the Potter's and she was indulging in some much needed relaxation after a shift from hell. There was some sort of attack in Hogsmeade, a strike that had yet to be claimed but certainly appeared to be an orchestrated attack on one of the shops while students were visiting from Hogwarts.

Lily had gone from eating her dinner in the break room to running back onto the floor and immersing herself in the damage. She spent the rest of her shift directing traffic in the overflowing halls between popping in and out of rooms to assess injuries. Upon arriving home, aching and exhausted, she stripped and filled the tub without a word to James.

Her body was just starting to find relief in the scalding water when the ring scorched her, heating nearly to the point of pain before cooling and heating once more.

Lily was out of the tub instantly. She drew a towel tightly around her body and flew into her room to collect the bag that she packed per Dumbledore's instructions. She threw the bag on her bed as she hurriedly changed into clothes and used a drying spell on her hair.

She had just slipped on her trainers when she felt her bedroom fall away as she was swept up and drawn to another location. She landed in complete darkness, surrounded by a field and what appeared to be forest. Lily grabbed her bag from where it had fallen in the chaos of her landing, fingers clutching at the strap nervously as she made her way toward the house that lay ahead.

It was eerily quiet when she mounted the steps and entered through the unlocked door. It wasn't until she closed the door behind her that she broke through the silencing charm and heard the startling chaos around her.

She took several tentative steps into the next room and nearly gasped at the sight before her. She thought she escaped the worst of the carnage when she left the hospital. Here, without the glare of fluorescent lighting and sterile smell that clung to her robes, she saw bodies laid out in a row; some moving, contorting with the agony of their injuries, while others lay too still.

"Is there another Healer here?" She called over the din.

"No. You're all we've got," A woman called from across the room as she tried and failed to save the person she was working on.

"Start tagging each of them. Use red to indicate the very critical and I'll work on them first. Use blue for stable and black for dead," Lily ordered the others who were clumsily working to save their fallen comrades.

"Are there more of the injured?"

"In the next room."

"Right, I'll tell them to do the same and be back. From now on we'll use the tagging system."

They worked in some semblance of order for another hour. It was overwhelming, trying to instruct the others with no training while patching up the Order members who could be saved. In the end, out of the twenty three body count, only four survived.

Lily had no idea what happened to the ones who weren't. She wondered whose job it was to notify the families. Somewhere out there, was there a wife or boyfriend waiting for them to return? How would they know what happened to them? Would it be marked up as an accident or would their service to the Order be recognized?

She had no idea. Lily was dismissed once her patients were stabilized and could be treated by the others. She returned home, dropping her bag and quickly changing out of her clothes. She didn't have the strength to shower or draw another bath. She merely cast a quick cleaning spell and fell into bed in her coziest pajamas.

With the covers drawn up to her chin she turned on her side and stared at the wall. She wanted to fall asleep more than anything but found that each time she closed her eyes, she saw scenes from the hospital and the house in the middle of nowhere blended together.

Sometime later, James knocked lightly from the hall.

"Come in," Lily called out quietly.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Sure."

"I heard about what happened in Hogsmeade. Must have been rough at the hospital."

"Yeah. I just have a headache."

"I can make tea…"

"No. I think I just need sleep."

"Let me know if you need anything."

Lily didn't answer. She remained facing the wall as the door closed with a soft creak. It was only when she was sure she was alone that Lily moved to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

* * *

It was a new kind of agony, waiting to be summoned. Lily tried to relax. She knew that it would happen when she was needed and there was no use preparing for it but it became difficult to adjust to the apprehension that she might be called away without being able to explain her absence.

She did her best to maintain her normal routine; she continued showing her support at James' matches and even managed to make several of the after parties. Another dinner was held at their house, this time with all of the wives present.

Lily was just grateful that she managed to fetch the pudding without anyone crashing through their back door.

* * *

"Potter, I need you!"

Lily jumped to attention having been glancing at a patient's chart and fighting off a yawn from lack of sleep. Her body was heavy with fatigue but she perked up when Healer Connery barked out her name in his usual no-nonsense manner. She replaced the chart she was working on and located him in a room across the hall. He was already working on the recently discharged William Healy, the young boy with lycanthrope that she had befriended early in her service.

"What happened?"

"He has self-inflicted wounds from last night's moon. His father informed us that he's been recovering from a respiratory infection and was too weak for the transformation. They couldn't safely get to him until after he changed back this morning."

Lily approached the bed and struggled against the pain that tore through her at the sight of the normally spirited boy as he struggled to breathe. His small chest rose and fell rapidly and his hand, scraped raw from self-inflicted injuries in wolf form, reached for her when he realized who she was.

Lily took the smaller hand in hers and even managed a smile as she smoothed a hand over his hair.

"Let's get you fixed up then, hmm?"

They worked in silence as William's breathing steadily became more labored and his body lost more blood. The boy went in and out of lucidity and cried out as he became more confused and scared.

"Where is he with that blood replenishing potion?" Lily demanded.

"I don't know, idiots the lot of them." Healer Connery muttered.

When William's eyes rolled back in his head, Lily ran out of the room to locate the trainee responsible for gathering potions. Lily found the man at the Healer's station, chatting with another trainee as if he had all the time in the world.

"Howell! I asked you not three minutes ago to get me a blood replenishing potion. And since I'm already writing you up, you might as well get it for me before I really get angry."

The man sneered and secured himself an enemy in Lily Evans Potter.

"Healer Potter, the hospital has no responsibility to treat half-breeds. It's just a waste of a perfectly good potion."

Lily instinctively went for her wand and she would have hexed the man in the middle of the hallway if she hadn't left it in the room. As it was, she approached Howell, getting close enough that his smirk faded when she snarled, "If that boy doesn't make it, I'm coming for you personally. Count on it."

Lily would have loved to tear him apart then and there but ran to the med room instead and grabbed a cocktail of potions for the boy. When she arrived back in the room, William's eyes were closed and Healer Connery was jotting notes into his chart.

"I had an idea after nearly killing Howell. If we mix the replenishing and pain potions we'll be able to…"

"Potter, it's over."

Lily looked at William and shook her head in disbelief. She set aside the bottles in her arms and approached the bedside so she could stroke his matted hair in an effort to soothe.

"No. It will work. We stopped the bleeding-"

"There was too much internal bleeding and with his immune system already compromised it was too much. He's gone, Lily."

"But…the potions. He can't…"

"I already called it. We have the time of death. I'll notify the parents," Healer Connery said briskly.

Lily remained stationed at the boy's bedside until his parents arrived. She held William's hand, remembering the way he reached for her when he was desperate for comfort and relief from the pain. She would have stayed at his bedside for the rest of the day and into the night if they would have let her. She wanted to be there so the ten year old adventurer wouldn't be scared ever again.

Inevitably the parents arrived and she let go of his hand, reluctantly arranging it so it was folded across his abdomen. She even managed to look into their stunned faces when they arrived, the mother already beginning to cry silently as she told them how sorry she was. That she wished he could have been saved.

Lily fled the room then and spent the remainder of her shift in the basement level where trainees often took their lunch to get away from the Healer's. She was left alone that way, able to cry and not feel ridiculous for doing so.

She was content to be left alone and mourn the little boy, the first death in her profession that she truly felt, until lunch time when a group of trainee's arrived and claimed a table at the other end of the room.

Lily heard Howell's voice and didn't register it until a wave of anger overwhelmed her, prompting her to reach for her wand as she made her way from one end of the room to the other in a matter of seconds.

"Healer Potter?"

Her focus narrowed on Howell, Lily didn't see the others back away; far enough so they wouldn't be in her path but still close enough to see and hear what was happening. Howell recoiled at the dark look on her face, recalling her words earlier and seeing his fate sealed in one look.

"Healer Potter, Lily-"

"Never use my first name again, Howell. Do you understand?" Lily kicked the chair next to him so it toppled over with a bang.

Howell flinched and nodded contritely.

"R-right. I'm sorry-"

"Sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. I want you to ask me about that _half-breed_ you refused to work on earlier. Ask me if he's still alive despite your unwillingness to treat him."

"I don't t-think-"

"Ask me, Howell or I swear to Merlin you'll regret the moment you were born."

"What h-happened to the boy?"

Lily grabbed Howell by his shirtfront, too far gone to rein herself in. She felt as if she was being choked by rage, finding it hard to get the words past her lips when she said, "He died this morning. A ten year old boy that loved to read and wanted to grow up to work with dragons, a boy much better than you'll ever be, died because of your arrogance!"

"I'm s-sorry-"

"You're sorry? You're pathetic."

Lily released him and would have left the basement entirely if she didn't catch Howell mutter the words _crazy bitch_ under his breath. It was his mistake that his friend's didn't laugh and an enraged Lily Evans Potter went for his throat.

Howell went from sitting to flat on his back in an instant. When he opened his eyes he saw Lily Potter standing over him with her wand carefully trained on his chest.

"That was a mistake, Howell."

"Healer Potter!"

Lily watched the other trainee's flee when Healer Connery barked at them to find another lunch spot. He even helped Howell to his feet, practically shoving the other man through the exit before Lily could get to him. Once he was gone she lowered her wand and tucked it into her robes as she fumbled to take a seat at the table.

"What were you going to do, kill him?"

"No. Not right away, at least."

"Do you want to keep your job or not?" Healer Connery demanded.

"Why are you yelling at me?" Lily felt the anger diminish, leaving her close to tears. "I'm not one of your trainee's to terrify. Go scowl at one of them because I certainly don't need it right now!"

With a sigh, Healer Connery took a seat next to her. Lily could feel him watching her as she battled with tears that threatened to fall.

"He was so young."

"I know."

Lily glanced at him in amazement. She was used to his bluster not the quiet empathy that was offered without reserve.

"He reminds me of one of my friends," Lily admitted. "He was bitten when he was a child."

"He was one of the lucky ones then, having survived," The Healer commented.

"Yes."

"There will be others, Potter. I know it stings now but you won't feel it eventually."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Lily admitted quietly.

* * *

**A/N Thanks to all the love you all are sending my way, I managed to get another update out! Thanks for much for the encouragement. I really thrive off of what you have to say.**

**Also! I have been thinking of giving this story an M rating for darker scenes (Order related) and potentially explicit material (ahem, love scenes). Please let me know what you think! **


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: A Beautiful Mess

"_It feels like being torn between two worlds again. I haven't felt this way since I prepared for Hogwarts, only this time it's not so clear what I'm leaving behind."_

-Diary of Lily Evans Potter November 1977

* * *

James couldn't be sure whether the ground was shifting beneath his trainers or if he was pissed out of his mind. When he had trouble gripping the doorknob, what with there being two, he decided it had to be the latter.

James laughed at his clumsiness and, finally managing to haul open the front door, dropped his bag of gear in the doorway with a grin. He was floating on the success of practice and the free drinks that had flowed at the local bar near the training facility. Despite the fact that the Canon's were still recovering from their stint as the laughingstock of the league the barkeep had been an old fan and wasted no time setting the team up with drinks.

It wasn't easy to remember the rest of his afternoon. James defied law and reason when he managed to make it home without splinching himself. He was not fortunate enough to make it in the house without attracting attention to himself thanks to nearly breaking his neck on the stairs.

"James?"

"Shite buggering arsehole."

"Are you alright?"

Lily emerged from her bedroom in time to watch him right himself. He offered a wide smile and brushed his shirt front off with what he thought was perfect dignity.

"Fine. Perfect. Perfectly fine."

"We have dinner with your parents in an hour and…" Lily peered at James with a look of disbelief flashing over her features, "Are you drunk? James, they'll be here any time now and we don't have anything to sober you up-"

"I don't need a potion. I had a few after practice but I'm fine."

Lily appeared to have her doubts about that but James merely smiled and dropped a kiss on her forehead on his way to the bathroom.

"Let me grab a shower and I'll be down to help you."

"James…"

"Ten minutes, tops."

James took his time, keeping his head under the spray and enjoying the beat of the water as it washed the grime from his skin. He wouldn't have minded staying in a bit longer but shut the water off anyway and toweled off so he could change into something nice for dinner.

In all honesty he had forgotten about having dinner with his parents. It was marked on the calendar Lily kept hanging over the radio. The yellow one filled with her neat scribbling in an attempt to keep their separate and demanding schedules in check. Of course it _would_ work better if he checked it regularly the way she did.

"James! There you are."

James smiled weakly and met his mum at the end of the stairs. He gave her a quick squeeze, acknowledged his father with a nod, and sailed into the kitchen where Lily was pulling dinner out of the oven. James placed his hand at the small of her back so he could guide her out of the kitchen in the direction of his parents.

"I'll serve if you can get them to the table."

"Deal."

James was content to sit passively throughout dinner. He enjoyed Lily's roast and idly considered how fetching she looked in her jumper. Admittedly he spent more time in his own head than paying attention to the conversation.

He did manage to tune back in when his mother dabbed her lips with a napkin and turned her attention on him, saying, "James, your father mentioned earlier that we should come see one of your matches."

Lily looked pleased by the idea and beamed at Charlus who nodded succinctly before returning to his vegetables. If James could have done things differently he would have done his best to hold back the snort that came out of him. The noise seemed to fill the dining room until silence reigned and he found everyone looking at him in surprise.

"He didn't say that."

"James!" His mother said sharply.

"Dorea, let the boy have his say," Charlus remarked softly.

"The _boy_ would just like to point out that dad never said any such thing. We've had quite a few years together and I know for a fact that he'd rather cut off his own arm than attend one of my matches."

"What makes you think that?"

James scoffed in disbelief. "Maybe it's because you haven't so much as congratulated me on making the team. Mum was the one who made a fuss over it. Your nose is so far inside your books I'm surprised you've noticed a bloody thing all these years."

"James, please," Lily begged from across the table.

James pushed back from the table and flung his napkin down on his way out of the room.

"Excuse me. I'm not hungry anymore."

* * *

"What happened to you?"

James collapsed on the tattered sofa in Remus' sitting room. He was itching for another drink but settled for a cup of tea and a reproachful look from his werewolf friend.

"I drank too much after practice and ended up yelling at my father at the dinner table," James admitted.

"How very fourteen-year-old-James of you," Remus commented dryly.

"I didn't mean for it to come out! I think I had just enough alcohol to loosen things."

"How did Charlus react?"

"Quietly. How else would he?"

"I see."

James groaned and closed his eyes.

"Remus, I didn't come here to be judged. Not that I don't deserve it but if I wanted that I would have just gone straight to my parent's house."

"Why didn't you head over to Padfoot's? He's always been a supporter of your outbursts."

"Sirius is busy shagging the skirt off Clover. Younger sis is out of the house and whatnot."

"Ah."

"And you always manage to put me in my place. I need that sort of influence, Moony."

Remus laughed as he removed he biscuit tin from the top of the fridge and tossed it to him. James caught the tin easily and selected a sugary treat with obvious delight.

"Padfoot mentioned that you had a date on Halloween. How come I didn't know about it until now?"

"It wasn't a big deal."

"Did it go well?"

"Sure."

"Are you seeing her again?"

"I don't know."

James nodded, understanding that they were done with that particular topic for the time being. They moved on to other things while passing the biscuits back and forth, content with periodic conversation and sweets until it was time for James to return home in his sober state.

* * *

Most of the lights were out when James returned home. After a bit of wandering around he found Lily in the kitchen. She was in her pajamas, seated on the counter with a carton of ice cream in her lap.

James felt the corners of his mouth twitch at the sight of her.

"I don't suppose you managed to obliviate my parents on the way out, did you?"

"Not a chance."

James scuffed his trainer against the floor, finding it easier to stare at his feet than face his wife.

"I'm sorry about tonight. I should have remembered they were coming and avoided Firewhiskey at all costs."

"That probably would have been a good idea. Although, seeing as my family takes dysfunction to new levels I don't suppose I'm one to judge."

"You're not mad?"

"Not especially. I would have rather things go off smoothly but they're your parents, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

Lily patted the space next to her with a smile and said, "Come here."

James hopped up and stared at the melting lump of green on the spoon she stuck in front of his mouth.

"What flavor is it?"

"Mint, of course. Open up or I'm taking it all for myself."

James laughed and Lily took the opportunity to stick the spoon in his mouth, successfully depositing the cold, minty glob. James swallowed it and immediately wrestled the carton away from her, delighting in her shrieking laughter. The container fell into the sink, forgotten as their limbs became entangled, their bodies seeking each other out in the awkward space.

"Won't even let me have ice cream in peace," Lily remarked between kisses.

"Fine. No more mint kisses."

When James made to pull away, Lily grabbed his shirtfront so their lips collided on a laugh.

"I don't think so."

* * *

Several days later, after the Canons' last match of the month, Lily awoke to a roaring headache and the perfect view of snow falling beyond the bedroom window.

Although she was positioned in a rather odd angle with her feet dangling off the bed and her head pillowed by James' chest and a wad of tangled blankets, she was content to simply lie back and watch the snow fall.

It wasn't until her eyes began drifting closed that a thought struck her that had her sitting up in bed.

"James!"

A hand appeared from beneath the blanket pile and began patting the air in order to locate the source of noise and quiet it. Lily shoved his hand aside and ripped the blankets away so his clothed form was exposed. He was still wearing his suit from the after party the night before. Several buttons had been loosened and his tie had mysteriously vanished, just as her dress was twisted around her legs in a manner that had Lily blushing as she smoothed it down.

"James it's already noon. You missed your morning practice," When he didn't so much as open his eyes, Lily clutched his shoulders in a frantic effort to wake him, "Coach Keller is going to murder you!"

"It's the first practice I've missed. And for the love of everything please stop shouting, Evans."

"You have to owl him. Tell him you overslept and it will never happen-"

"Alright, alright! I'm up."

Lily settled back against the headboard as James stumbled from the room and headed downstairs. She smoothed the party dress around her legs as she pondered the events of the night before. She clearly remembered the details of the match, beginning with the overwhelming pride that flooded her when they took to the pitch and ending with the raucous cheers that erupted around her when the Canon's caught the snitch.

She remembered rushing through the crowds of people, already celebrating with their flasks and victory chants, until she spotted James standing off to the side from his teammates. His face lighting up with laughter as she threw herself into his arms and held on tight.

Coming home after a night of dancing, she must have danced with each member of the team at least twice, wasn't as clear. She remembered carrying a bottle of champagne upstairs with them. When they would normally split at the top of the stairs Lily chose instead to follow James into his room. She remembered laughing as they fell into bed together and then closing her eyes when his blankets settled over her.

She fell asleep with his weight shifting at her side and the distinct scent of soap and James' skin settling around her.

"What's got you smiling that way, Evans?"

Unaware that James had been watching her from the doorway, Lily startled. Her cheeks heated but she managed to brush past James without making a complete fool of herself.

"Nothing in particular. How about breakfast?"

"Nothing, indeed," James teased, following her downstairs.

* * *

It became habit for Lily, on the nights she was called away for Order business, to change back into pajamas and make her way silently down the hall. She would poke her head in first, checking to see if he had changed his mind and didn't want her occupying the other half of his bed.

Each night she found him facing the wall, leaving more than enough for her to crawl in beside him. Most night's she was able to settle in and find sleep within minutes. Exhaustion gripped her and it was the easiest thing in the world to close her eyes and find rest.

The night after the Canon's victory was different. She climbed into bed beside James and slipped under the blankets so she could feel the heat his body was throwing off. Still, she shivered. Her mind was clogged with images from the meeting and the confusion of being called away after another _incident_ took place outside of Muggle London. She closed her eyes and saw the wounded crying out for her attention. She opened them and the images followed so she was replaying them over again like a nightmarish film that she couldn't escape.

Instinctively, Lily reached out and looped her arms around James' sleeping form. She moved close to him so her chest was pressed against his back, her fingers gripping the edges of his shirt. She was able to close her eyes.

Finally, placing her hand over his chest, feeling the solid rhythm beneath her fingers, she slept.

* * *

**A/N Once again, you all are blowing me away with your reviews! Thank you so much. I adore each and every one.**

**This chapter was a transition of sorts. Important things happened here but they won't come into play right away. (So I made sure to give you lots of cute Jily moments to compensate!) **

**Thanks for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20

_"I had the strangest visit from Lily today…"_

-Diary of Remus Lupin, December 1977

Chapter 20: Lust for Life

* * *

"The last one was a total cock up."

"You'll get no argument from me. We're lucky to make it out alive anymore…"

Lily heard snippets of conversation taking place around her, mostly hushed words traded between friends before the meeting was set to begin, but faded in and out of what was being said. She rested her head on the solid oak table, slipping in and out of sleep as fellow Order members took their places around the table.

It had been a long week and Lily was feeling it in every part of her body. She was exhausted from balancing work and Order obligations as well as putting her appearance in with James, in the name of keeping up positive publicity for the team.

On top of that, she was spending more of her free time with Frank and Alice Longbottom, and even Clover. She enjoyed having the occasional dinner with the Marauder's and seeing Remus for lunch, but she needed time with her fellow Order members. She needed to be around people who understood the challenge of living two quite separate lives.

Keeping track of it all was wearing on her, making it nearly impossible to stay awake at their Thursday night meeting.

"All right, Lily?"

When she lifted her head, Marlene McKinnon was standing next to her with a look of concern. The ache in her body had spread since she lowered her head for a rest. Her vision was swimming and she had a chill despite heat radiating from her body.

"You look like you could use a strong cuppa."

Lily nodded weakly and pinched the bridge of her nose to chase away the migraine that was brewing behind her eyes.

"Thank you, Marlene."

The blonde waved her away and forced a steaming cup into her hands.

"Drink up. It's bound to be a long one tonight."

Lily sipped from the strong brew, glancing at the other woman over the rim of her cup.

"Why do you say that?"

"I heard from Dorcas that Dumbledore is looking for more support for the Order. People are getting nervous, don't want to get involved or make waves. Rubbish, if you ask me. Something has to be done."

"Right," Lily agreed.

The headache that started off as a dull ache turned into a sick, blinding pain as the meeting progressed. Lily clutched her cup of tea long after it cooled, finding a certain comfort in having something to hold as Minerva McGonagall relayed the Headmaster's message.

"Elphias and Dedalus have been asked to begin looking for recruits. For now we expect the rest of you to be on your guard," The older woman surveyed the faces staring back at her, most of them years younger than her, with a tight smile. "That will be all this evening."

Lily was more than ready to apparate home and crawl into bed. She wanted to strip off her work clothes and drag the duvet over her head for the remainder of the week but her plan was interrupted when the deputy headmistress caught her eye on the way out.

"Mrs. Potter, a word?"

Lily squeezed Alice's arm and said a quick goodbye before joining Minerva at the head of the room.

"My dear are you feeling quite alright?" The older woman asked quietly. "You don't look well."

"I think I have a touch of the flu, but I'll be fine."

"If you're certain. I have special instructions from Albus. He couldn't be here tonight but he wished for me to speak to you about recruiting someone who I believe is an acquaintance of yours."

Minerva paused, pouring herself a fresh cup of tea before continuing, "Albus believes it would be in the best interest of the Order to have Remus Lupin working for us. Given his…monthly change, he could reach certain groups of interest to our cause."

Despite her aches and previous grogginess, Lily felt a jolt at the deputy headmistress' words that had her feeling much more alert.

"There's no one else? Surely there is another way, a safer way, to go about this."

Minerva's gaze softened at the younger woman's words.

"I'm sorry, dear. Albus wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

Lily arrived home shortly after her conversation with Minerva. She tried to push the other woman's words out of her mind, tried forgetting her task for the night, in favor of much needed rest.

It wasn't long before James located her. She was rifling through her drawers for the coziest pair of pajamas that she owned, when he appeared in her doorway.

"How was the meeting?"

Lily flinched but recovered quickly by moving on to the next drawer. James had no idea where she went each week for meetings. She told him that it was a mandatory work thing and he never questioned her lie. Now, exhausted and aching, she wanted to tell him everything.

"It was boring for the most part. I think I'm going to turn in, though."

"You okay?"

Lily would have gone to him, placed her head on his shoulder and shut her eyes, if she wasn't afraid of giving him what she had. Instead, she smiled weakly and ordered him to turn around so she could change.

When he obliged, she began peeling off her clothes, hurrying to avoid worsening her chill and explained, "I think it's the flu that's been going around. Patients at work are starting to come in with it."

"Do you need anything? I can make tea."

Lily gave him the all clear and he turned around, looking concerned.

"I loaded up on tea earlier. I think I'll just get some rest."

"What about a goodnight kiss, then?"

Lily shook her head and scrambled away to put more distance between them.

"You'll get sick!"

"I'll risk it," He vowed, pushing off from the door frame and coming to stand in front of her.

Despite her concerns, Lily closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest. She felt James' hand come up and begin stroking her hair, lulling her toward sleep.

"Get into bed, love." James pulled away to press his lips to her temple, finding her skin feverish to the touch.

Lily had no problem falling into bed and pulling every available blanket over her chilled body. James wandered into the hall before coming back with a vial of brown liquid.

"This should help the fever."

"Thank you," Lily accepted the vial but gripped James' hand before he could pull away. She smiled and gave it a tender squeeze before falling back against her pillows and drinking its contents with a grimace.

"I'll be up for awhile if you need anything."

"I'll be okay, but thank you, Mr. Potter."

"Any time, Mrs. Potter," James murmured, finding Lily already half-asleep when he switched off the lights and let himself out quietly.

* * *

It took another few days in bed until Lily felt more like herself. She drank endless cups of tea and drifted in and out of sleep while, outside her window, snow covered the garden. It was during this time, with the gentle snow fall and ordered time off from the Order while she recovered, that Lily worked up the nerve to ask her husband out on what would be their first date.

She waited for him to return home from practice, pacing the length of the living room as she wrestled with the absurdity of the situation. She had asked out men before. It wasn't a new experience or one she should feel nervous about, and yet there she was, a newlywed having jitters about inviting her husband for a night out.

It was absurd. Still, when the door opened and James dropped his bag at the foot of the stairs, Lily was forced to bury her nerves as she approached her husband.

"You're feeling better, I see."

"All rested up," Lily agreed. "In fact, I was wondering if you'd like to, that is if you don't have anything else to do tonight, if you want to go out…with me."

James kicked off his trainers, unaware that Lily was twisting her hands while his back was turned.

"What did you have in mind?"

"We could have dinner, somewhere quiet so we're not followed. Then I thought we could find a Muggle cinema. We could see a talking picture."

"I don't have anything going tonight. Let me change and we can head out."

"Brill," Lily said as he retreated upstairs. Relieved, she sat on the bottom step and dropped her head into her hands, smiling.

"It's a date," James called without looking back.

* * *

The Potter's managed some semblance of normalcy up until the desert course.

They ate a small, unremarkable restaurant. Another restaurant nearby was celebrating its grand opening, allowing them a good deal of privacy. Lily bribed the wait staff with a tidy sum and autographed menus from James, to ensure that they would be seated at a secluded table.

They spent well over an hour, mostly ignoring their meal and talking instead about what the other had done over the course of their day. Somehow, over the course of the conversation, their hands met in the middle of the table. Lily glanced down at her fingers, tangled with his, and smiled.

She could feel her cheeks heat, having nothing to do with her recent sickness, and everything to do with the way James was looking back at her from across the table. She rarely saw him look so serious. No matter what task was at hand, even on those dreaded mornings when practice got him out of bed before the sun, he was able to smile and tease. He wasn't laughing now, not even smiling. His face was composed as he stared at her as if she was a collection of puzzle pieces that needed a certain amount of study before they could be arranged.

"What is it?"

"I'm glad you suggested we come out tonight."

"I thought we might as well do something nice now. Soon we'll turn into those old married's who never get out and cover all the furniture in plastic," Lily teased.

"The horror!"

"We'll eat dinner at three o'clock-"

"-in bed by seven."

They were still laughing when the first picture was taken. The flash went off and they sprang apart, almost guiltily, as their small dining area was filled with the sounds of light, grating laughter.

"What a lovely moment! I don't think I've ever seen the pair of you looking so happy together-"

The chattering blonde tucked the photo away in her bag before Lily could lunge for it. She even had the gall to throw a wink at Lily, as if it was a secret between friends.

"What paper are you with?" James demanded furiously.

"Oh, dear. I didn't introduce myself. How silly of me," The woman extended two business cards to the pair, "I'm from Witch Weekly. My name is Rita Skeeter and if you'd like your story told right, I'd be more than willing to help."

Lily frowned at the business card and dropped it onto her dish of melting ice cream in a dismissive gesture. Rita Skeeter, not perturbed in the least, merely adjusted her glasses with a smile.

"Everyone is dying to know about the pair of you. James, you don't mind if I call you James, do you? You're a much more open book than this one," Rita jerked her head in Lily's direction and James visibly tensed.

"We're leaving," He dropped a handful of coins on the table, more than enough to cover the bill, and took Lily's hand. "Ready?"

Lily frowned at the woman, this Rita, who had plucked a quill from her hair and was scribbling notes, not paying them the slightest bit of attention.

"Absolutely."

One of the staff members showed them a back exit and they made their way quickly from the restaurant to a Muggle theater several blocks away. When James would have walked inside, Lily stopped him by placing a hand on his chest.

"What-"

Beneath the faint glow of the street light, Lily threaded her arms around his neck and kissed him. They remained that way, outside the theater until their jackets were dusted with snow and they were shivering from more than just the chilly night.

"The movie is starting soon," James tightened his hold around her waist and she dropped her head so her laughter was muffled into his shoulder.

"I have a better idea-"

"We're not going home," Lily told him before he could suggest it. "After all, that was just a warm up."

James' eyebrows shut up to his hairline.

"A warm up for what?"

Lily leaned close, enjoying his warmth and the way his body tensed when she leaned into him.

"When the lights go down in the theater."

Her laugh rang through the street when James wasted no time in linking their hands and hauling her into the theater to purchase their tickets.

* * *

James was accompanying Sirius to get a part for his motorbike when Lily finally plucked up the nerve to visit Remus. She baked a batch of biscuits, taking her time, waiting for them to cool and then placing them in a tin.

Lily knew she was stalling. It would be better to just head over and tell him what Professor Dumbledore had in mind. It was simple, a matter of laying out the facts and then owling Minerva with his response. She realized it wasn't the fear that he would say no that worried her so much as the idea of Remus saying yes to what they had in mind.

Finally, after plenty of stalling, she grabbed the biscuit tin and used the Floo to enter his flat. He had built a fire, making the normally drafty home cozy. Lily deposited her tin on the coffee table and called out, "Remus?"

"In the kitchen! Just pouring the tea."

Lily sat down heavily on the couch, managing a smile that was strained around the edges when Remus emerged from the tiny kitchen.

"I brought biscuits, fresh from the oven."

"Chocolate?"

"Of course."

They settled in with their tea, and Lily listened while Remus recounted his experience looking for a new job. Since graduation he had been having a hard time keeping jobs. Most employers never contacted him after the interview, and the ones who did take him on almost always let him go soon after. There was too much pressure in their world for many employers to have werewolves as employees; even if they were bright and hard working.

They passed the tin between them, making their way through over half of the cookies before they came to the reason of her visit.

"You look like you have a secret," Remus commented.

Silence stretched between them. Lily dusted crumbs off her sweater, keeping her eyes on her trainers as she said, "I have something I'm supposed to tell you."

"Go on."

His gentle encouragement only made her feel worse. Lily cleared her throat, forcing her gaze to meet his.

"I'm part of…a group," Lily began tentatively.

She told him everything she could, keeping the more confidential details to herself. She explained what the Order was doing, who was in charge, and finally what they wanted from Remus. He listened without interruption, so engrossed that he abandoned his tea to cool on the coffee table.

When she was finished, Lily fell back against the couch, eyeing her friend carefully. His expression was unreadable. He appeared lost in thought, but there was no telling whether he was leaning one way or the other in his answer.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity in which Lily was awaiting his reply, he said, "When do I start?"

* * *

**A/N: Another installment! Wooo. **

**Anyway, I can't thank all of you enough for your reviews. I read and love every single one. **

**I know some of you are wondering about James and the Order, to be clear: He doesn't know about the Order as of right now. The members are pretty strict about keeping things quiet for their safety and that of their friends, family, etc. BUT now that Remus is involved, you can see how things might progress for James to find out. **

**So, hang in there! Any other questions, let me know.**

**And if you're interested in chatting, you can head to my HP tumblr where I spend a great deal of time and ocassionally post Marriage Diaries stuff: just look up jacknsallygal and you'll find me :) **


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Together

"_I never realized how easy it is to go from hating someone on principle to trusting them implicitly. I guess being in the Order has changes more than a few things." _

Diary of Marlene McKinnon, December 1977

* * *

_An explosion shook the ground before Lily's eyes had adjusted properly to the darkness._

_She was disoriented at first by the lack of lightdarkness, and then her eyes closed as the clearing filled with a blinding light. The force of it threw her until her back collided sharply with a tree trunk._

_Lily wasn't sure how long she was out, but she came to with the smell of smoke heavy in the air. A fire was blazing not far from where she was sprawled in the snow. Screams pierced the air as the fire spread. _

_The roof of the house went and the screams stopped._

"…_have to get up. Lily!"_

_Alice's face swam before Lily's unsteady vision. Her friend reached for her, sliding her arms beneath her armpits and hauling her away from the blaze. _

"_No. We have to get them out. Moody said-"_

_Lily tried to drag her feet, to keep them from advancing further into the forest and away from the Muggle home. It didn't deter Alice. She merely tugged harder until they were both far enough away to be considered out of danger._

"_It's too late for that."_

Lily awoke gasping. She could still smell the smoke and even as she shook off the rest of the memory, the screams of the family chased her back into reality.

"Whatisit?" James slurred.

His hold tightened around her middle and Lily was grateful for the contact. In the darkness of his bedroom, she fumbled before gripping one of his hands tightly in her own.

"Bad dream," She mumbled, "Go back to sleep."

His breath ruffled the hair at her neck as he leaned forward to plant a kiss there. Lily gave his hand a squeeze and lay back, listening to the sounds of his breath evening out as he slipped into a restful slumber without her.

* * *

The next day, Lily Floo'd to Remus' flat. She waited as long as she could, first going to work and then picking up groceries for dinner, before changing out of her robes and heading over to his place.

She wanted to give him ample time to rest before stopping by. By now he was as used to his monthly transformation as one could be, given the horror his body was put through, but she knew his body still required a certain window of time to recover.

Lily paused in the living room, knocking lightly on the wall to announce her presence.

"Remus?"

"In here."

Lily followed the weak rasping sound and stopped in the doorway of his bedroom. Her arms were full of the soup she had made after work, but she quickly set the dish aside and went to her friend. Remus was curled in the center of the bed, the sheets and blankets twisted around his limbs. As she drew closer, Lily tried to observe the raw scrapes and bite marks on his back with the clinical detachment of a Healer, and failed miserably.

She took a seat on the edge of the bed. Reaching carefully, she tucked the blankets around his waist so he was properly covered.

"I'm sorry," Remus said quietly. "I didn't realize I wasn't-"

"Don't worry about it. Would you like me to take a look at those spots on your back?"

"Sure."

Lily worked in silence, waving her wand over his back to make sure nothing was broken or fractured. When she was satisfied with her survey, she conjured a basin of warm water and several soft rags.

"I'm going to clean you up a bit and then we'll have dinner. Sound alright?"

"Yes," Remus remarked listlessly.

She worked quickly, gently washing the bites and using her wand to seal them to avoid infection. Some of the deeper bites required bandaging, but Remus didn't make a sound as she worked with quiet efficiency. When she was done, she fetched a shirt from the wardrobe and left him to dress himself after he assured her that he could at least do that much.

He appeared in the kitchen several minutes later and Lily forced a smile that belied her worry. He was abnormally pale, with deep circles etched beneath his eyes and bits of twigs and grass in his sandy hair. He sat down across the table from her, wincing slightly as he did so, and Lily immediately started in on ladling soup and slicing the homemade bread she brought for the visit.

"Eat up, but save room for desert. I brought sweets."

"You don't have to bribe me, Lily. Minerva already ordered me to debrief with you."

Wounded by his tone, Lily set aside her spoon and stared at the table instead of her longtime friend.

"Okay."

She heard his sigh and glanced up to find Remus pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't-"

"No, I am. I'm being a right bastard when you've not only brought me something to eat but cleaned me up as well."

"Last night was pretty rough, yeah?"

"It was…interesting. I met up with a pack that practices very old magic."

Remus paused to enjoy several small sips of soup, smiling contentedly as the broth seemed to soothe his body.

"I'm not sure how they do it, but from what I gathered, they are able to remain in their wolf form for weeks at a time."

Lily's eyes widened and she shook her head in amazement.

"How do they manage that? I didn't think it was possible."

"I don't know enough about it to say. I remember reading about those who utilize their transformation in times of war, using their strength and tenacity to fight, but I had no idea anyone could sustain that form for more than a night."

"They're preparing for war?" Lily asked hollowly.

"They know something is happening," Remus agreed. "They were wary of me, rightfully so. Before they would allow me near the females, they attacked and had me submit to their alpha. At least I won't be going through that again anytime soon," He commented with a wry grin.

Lily pushed aside her dinner and reached for her friend's hand. She squeezed it gently to get his attention.

"Thank you for what you're doing."

"You're worried."

"Yes."

Remus let go of her hand, using it to scrub at his face wearily.

"It's not as dangerous as you might think, Lily. Remember, when I'm in that form, I'm evenly matched with them. As long as they trust me, and I believe they do now, I won't be harmed."

"I know that, logically."

"You know, what I'm doing isn't nearly as dangerous as the missions you're going on," Concern shone in his eyes as he seemed to appraise her. "How are you holding up on that end?"

"I'm surviving," Lily said lightly. "For now, that's enough."

* * *

The small home in Godric's Hollow became a hub of activity as the holidays approached.

Against their better judgment, the young Potter's prepared for their first holiday party as a married couple. The guest list was small, allowing it to be an intimate gathering of friends rather than inviting spectators into their home to gawk at them, and splash their picture across the Prophet.

James handled the invitations while Lily ordered the food and enlisted him to help her tidy the house. They spent most of their free time adding decorations to the house, blending traditional Muggle and magic elements so the house came alive with their twist on Christmas.

James was standing before the mantle, smiling fondly at the tiny Santa that laughed and patted his robust stomach, when Lily came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He felt her head rest against his back and his smile grew.

"Was that yours as a boy?"

"Yes. My father gave him to me for my first Christmas. After that, I was in charge of putting him on the mantle each year."

Lily released him and came to stand at his side, watching the Santa with a smile of her own. They stood like that for some time, until Lily reached for his hand and broke the silence.

"Speaking of Charlus…"

James groaned but when he would have pulled away, Lily held on.

"James, your mum owled me."

"What did she want?"

"Two guesses."

James flung himself onto the couch, tugging Lily's hand so she fell with him. She curled into his side, like she had been doing it for ages instead of recently getting used to the idea of belonging there.

He liked it.

"What did she say exactly?"

"Your father would like to speak with you. Dorea said he would have owled but he figured you wouldn't accept his letters."

"Bloody hell."

"Will you consider it?" Lily toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck, and at the moment he would have agreed to just about anything.

"Are you doing that on purpose?"

Lily stopped her ministration, looking perplexed.

"What?"

"Nevermind."

Lily's laugh rang out as she quickly went from sitting at his side to being hauled half on top of him so their lips could meet.

* * *

On Christmas Eve, the house was filled with the sounds of company. Music was playing in the kitchen while the table was heaped with food and drink.

They congregated in the living room with a roaring fire, and presents stacked beneath the table.

Remus lingered around the dessert table, snacking on chocolate pastries while in conversation with Marlene and Peter. Sirius was speaking with James and Frank Longbottom with his gaze flicking between the mound of presents and where Clover stood with Lily and Alice Longbottom.

"Your husband is watching you like you're something off the dessert table," Lily commented with an amused look in her friend's direction.

Clover didn't bother looking. She sipped champagne and shrugged inelegantly, hardly bothered by the news.

"It's nothing. He is still…_adapting_ to our new situation."

Despite her firm and fast rule not to give in to idle gossip, Alice appeared interested, asking, "New situation?"

Clover gazed briefly in her husband's direction. She found his attention still focused on her, his eyes boring into her from across the room, and lifted her glass in a mocking salute.

"He's gotten suspicious," Clover admitted. "I was called away while we were shagging. I told him it was work-related and we ended up rowing when I got back."

Lily felt her stomach drop as Clover continued.

"He said he had a right to know why I kept running out at all hours. I reminded him that while we are married in name, we can hardly be considered husband and wife in practice."

"I'm gathering he didn't take that too well."

"Of course not. He's pouting because there are things in my life that he doesn't have access to. I don't know when shagging someone gave them rights to your entire life, but apparently he is under the false impression that it does."

"Harsh," Lily remarked, saying what she and Alice were thinking, but Alice would not say because she had not known the other woman as long as Lily had.

"Perhaps. Or maybe I value my safety more than my husband's hurt feelings."

"You have to. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for them not to know," Alice said, including Lily in her quiet sympathy.

Dread settled in Lily's stomach. She caught sight of James, laughing at something ridiculous Sirius had said, and the feeling intensified. She turned back to her two friends and shared a look with Clover. The other witch seemed to understand her torment, saying only, "He will know eventually. For now, he cannot."

"I know."

Clover inclined her head.

"Just as I know how difficult it must be to keep something so dangerous from the man you are in love with."

Lily had nothing to say to that.

* * *

Later, after presents had been opened and the floor was littered with paper, a heavy snow began falling outside.

Lily watched the snow fall in clumps, dusting the already snow covered ground in the fine powder. She set aside her champagne and rose unsteadily to her feet. The others paid her no mind as she went to the closet and began dressing; pulling on her coat and then digging through the clutter until she located mittens and a scarf.

"I'm going out," she announced to the room.

Eight heads turned at once to stare at her.

"Where to? It's almost eleven." Remus asked, sounding amused as she swayed on her feet.

"You'll freeze!" Alice added.

"I'm going to build a snowman," Lily declared. "You lot do not have to come with me, but I am going to do it." When they continued to stare at her in silence, Lily sniffed. "And he will be majestic."

She threw the front door open and marched outside, stumbling slightly against the onslaught of wind and snow. Lily made her way to the snow piled near the street; dropping to her knees she began using it to roll out what would be the bottom of her snowman.

She was giddy, drunk on champagne and such a simple, childlike task. For now the approaching war was far away. The screaming nightmares, the torment of secrets and death. All of it might as well be ages away for all she cared. She had her snow falling merrily around her, and the task of shaping it into something so simple, so delightful.

She had just started on her snowman's middle when the front door opened and light spilled out onto the lawn. She watched the three figures approach, waddle mostly, in their heavy winter gear. Lily heard them giggling, Marlene, Clover, and Alice, and began to laugh as well.

By the time they reached her, Lily was already abandoning her snowman. She saw Clover pick up a handful of snow, and bolted away from them, laughing when they caught up and began firing snowballs with abandon.

The Marauder's and Frank watched from the front window as the four women laughed and heaped snow on one another.

It was Sirius who finally spoke.

"I'm telling you, something's going on."

Remus and Frank stiffened, not even daring to glance at one another. James and Peter merely laughed at Sirius' sober expression.

"Padfoot, you're being ridiculous," Peter said dismissively.

"I'm not! Do you remember how horribly Marlene and Lily got on when she first married Pete?"

"People change," Frank said simply. _Priorities_ change, he amended silently.

The five men lapsed into silence, their thoughts scattering in wildly different directions.

* * *

**A/N Hello, again! **

**A few things:**

**First, I have been asked if James and Lily are having sex. As of now, they are not. They do share a bed and they are affectionate with one another. They have intimacy without being intimate as of yet. You will be reading about their first time together in the next chapter, in which we will earn our M rating. **

**Secondly, some of you have been very anxious about James knowing about the Order. That's coming too. Promise. I'm not going to give away his reaction or any other plot points, but you should know that this will not be a linear love story. Lily and James are such interesting, passionate people, and I have too much faith in them as a couple to take it easy on them. Their relationship will be tested. But trust me, okay? **

**They can take it. **

**Until next time! JNSG **


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22: Stay

**_"I will never look at Paris the same way again. What a glorious city."_**

**-Diary of Lily Evans, January 1978**

A/N Lemons and fluff, on the house! Not too much in the way of plot (New Years Eve, and then a trip to Paris for Quidditch stuff) so if lemons weird you out, you can skip it. Enjoy.

* * *

New Years Eve was spent at the sprawling home of Charlus and Dorea Potter. Although the outburst during dinner was not forgotten, Dorea had extended the olive branch in the form of a party invitation, and Lily had accepted.

Neither woman had any intention of forcing the pair to interact with each other. They simply let the issue go, placing more importance on spending the evening with family and friends than mending the troubled relationship between father and son.

For the most part, the Potter men seemed content to ignore one another. They stayed on opposite ends of the room, carefully making the rounds so they would never have to meet up unexpectedly and be forced into polite conversation.

"Thank you for getting him to agree, Lily."

Lily smiled at her mother-in-law and touched her arm lightly. The other woman looked forlorn as she watched her men avoid each other skillfully and Lily couldn't felt the stab of pain she felt on her behalf.

"It didn't take much convincing at all," she admitted. "James wanted to see you."

Dorea sighed, torn between being thrilled to have her son under her roof, and wanting to throw hexes at the both of them for being so bloody stubborn. Lily understood her dilemma.

Lily spent much of her night speaking with friends and admiring celebrities of the Wizarding world from afar. As midnight neared, she excused herself from the group she had been speaking with and went off in search of her husband. The last time she saw him, not long ago, he was quitting the room. He exited and seemed to take the path that led to the toilet.

Lily left her drink and followed the path he took, until the music and laughter grew faint and she reached the toilet at the end of the hall. She heard the sound of water running and pulled the door open, stepping inside quickly and shutting the door behind her.

"Oi!" James turned at the opening and closing of the door, but relaxed upon realizing that it was his wife, and not some drunken git, who joined him.

"Scared you?"

"Little bit."

Lily smiled and, keeping her eyes locked with his, flicked her fingers over the lock so they wouldn't be interrupted. James' eyebrows rose with her actions.

When midnight struck, the Potter mansion erupted in cheers. Friends exchanged cordial kisses. Champagne was opened, glasses refilled.

The cheering was not registered by James and Lily, who were tugging at each other's clothes, desperate for the smallest amount of skin to skin contact. Lily nearly snarled as she worked at the buttons of his shirt, until she finally gave up and slipped her hands under the fabric so she could feel the tensing of his body as she explored it.

James groaned at the sensation of her hands sliding over his skin and quickly took her mouth in a frenzied kiss. He had lifted her so she was perched on the sink, the straps of her dress tugged down so his mouth could skim her shoulders, when a knock sounded on the door.

"Bollocks!"

Lily fell back in surprise. In the process her bum nudged the handles and water exploded out of the tap and drenched her backside.

"Fucking hell!"

The sound of her cursing was muffled against James' hand when he pressed it against her mouth as she struggled to reach the handles. When the water was off and the room was perfectly silent, they both listened carefully, startled when another knock sounded.

"Stay here," he ordered.

Lily glared at him. _Where else am I going to go?_ her look demanded.

He removed his hand and quickly stepped out of the loo, leaving her to dry her back without a wand.

"It's not working properly. Why don't I show you to another loo, Minister?"

In the bathroom, Lily's eyes widened and she dropped her head in her hands, imagining James politely escorting the leader of their world to another toilet.

When she was sure that no one was lurking outside the loo, she exited hastily with every intention of rejoining the party. Instead, a strong pair of arms ensnared her waist and dragged her back into the dark corridor. Lily would have hexed the person doing the grabbing into oblivion, had she not heard James' laughter as he dropped his head into the curve of her neck to muffle the sound.

Lily easily broke his hold on her and spun around so she had him pinned to the wall with her body. His laughter died as she took both his hands in hers and leaned in close, closer still, so he could smell her perfume and the powder she used after her bath, to nip his lower lip.

"Think that was funny do you?"

The light, teasing look in her eyes belied her serious tone.

"Hysterical," he managed, finding it difficult to breathe evenly when she shifted her body against his.

Lily dropped any pretense of being angry and threw her arms around his neck. A grin overtook her features when James tugged her further into the recesses of the corridor to ring in the New Year with a proper snogging.

* * *

After their encounter on New Year's Eve it was an all out war between the young couple.

They went on with their lives as they had before. Except now there were stolen, fevered touches that drove both of them nearly mad. At the ribbon cutting for a new wing in St. Mungo's, an after party to celebrate a Canon's victory, hands and mouths were used mercilessly to drive the other to a point of unbearable frustration.

They continued to share a bed at night. Each prepared for bed and then met up in his room, but instead of curling against one another as they once did, they each took a side of the bed and stuck to it. It was another tactic in their war, wondering how long they could go on this way, teasing, frustrating each other by refusing even the smallest touches in bed, before the other broke and crossed the invisible line.

The only time Lily wasn't aware of James, thinking endlessly of his smirking mouth and the way it could ignite her skin, was when she was called on by the Order. It had been difficult in the beginning to dump everything from her mind and focus on whatever it was that she needed to do. Eventually she mastered it so by the time she was being swept away to whatever awaited her, her mind was perfectly blank.

She treated the injured, some dying in her arms, others holding on by the thinnest thread, and then returned home to a place that was devoid of death, a place where battles elicited no casualties.

It was a relief when James left on a wintry Friday to meet his team in Paris for a press event. They said their goodbye's, lingered over them, before he grabbed his bags and left.

Lily was grateful to have the day to herself even if it meant spending it at work before she met him in Paris that night. She needed the separation, feeling like it was the first time she could breathe properly in weeks. She met with patients, attended meetings to sort out treatment plans, all while blessedly free from thoughts of James Potter.

She had been in love before. Adam wasn't her first boyfriend, but he was her most serious up until her marriage, and she had loved him. It shouldn't be surprising that it was different with James, the love she felt more complex, more stunning because of their history.

And still she was surprised by how often she thought of him when they weren't together. She was even more surprised by how right things felt when they were.

It was distracting, and horrifying, and lovely all at once.

It wasn't until she was packing; more like throwing things into a bag without thought that she was allowed to think about him again. She wondered how his day had gone, whether the press had played nice. By the time she changed and met him in the lobby, she was relieved to see his smile as he held out a hand for her to take.

"How was it?"

"It's been fine here. For the most part they stuck to asking about Quidditch instead of asking whether or not you're carrying Padfoot's love child."

Lily groaned even as James laughed and led her into the banquet room.

"Please tell me no one asked you that."

"No one asked me that," he lied.

"Oh, Merlin."

They were in for a much tamer meal than Lily expected. She was grateful that the press had left the premises and she could avoid being asked about any _love children_, of all things. She genuinely enjoyed sharing a meal with James' teammates and their wives. They were all welcoming, even teasing gently about the events of the day.

"I thought James was about to fall off his chair, poor sod," A player by the name of Alec Jones remarked cheerfully.

His wife, a tiny woman who was almost comically round with their second child, jabbed him in the side.

"Can you blame him? They're downright vicious, the lot of them."

Finally, when dinner was cleared and conversation drifted, the Potter's begged off. James had an early morning and many of the other players were turning in early as well.

It was only after the door was shut behind them and James moved to loosen his tie, that Lily realized that sleep was the furthest thing from her mind.

"I'm going to shower," she said slowly.

"Alright."

James continued undressing without glancing at her. Lily moved into the bathroom, but instead of closing the door, she left it open and began working on removing her shoes and stockings. She was working on the zipper of her dress when James glanced back, realizing there was no barrier between them as she changed.

"Do you want me to get the door?" he asked carefully.

Lily's fingers closed around the zipper. With a light tug it lowered until the dress loosened and then fell so it pooled around her feet.

"No."

She heard the hitch in his breathing, felt her skin prickle against the cool air as she released the clasps of her bra. She shrugged the garment off, dropping it carelessly on the tile floor.

James looked as if he was rooted to the spot just beyond the bathroom. His fingers had stilled as they worked on the buttons of his shirt and now they dropped by his sides as his attention snapped to her every movement.

"Lily, if you want me to shut the door, tell me now."

"Why would I want that?"

One moment he was standing near the doorway, frozen in place and the next he had joined her in the bathroom. Her breath left her then as he crushed her against him, skin against fabric, and their lips crashed together. She moaned, a low, desperate sound, as his hand skimmed over her side, up and up further still until it tangled in her hair.

He pulled away and Lily clutched his arms dizzily, wanting to pull him back.

"You're killing me," he rasped.

And then it was her turn to move. Lily pulled him, fully clothed, into the shower with her. She flicked on the water so steam curled around their bodies as she worked to rid him of his clothes. Once again she was cursing the buttons of his shirt, yanking everything off until he stood in just his trousers, watching her with hooded eyes.

Taking her time, Lily pulled the zipper down, dragging the process out until his pants were tossed halfway across the room and she could cup the heaviness there. James' groan filled the room and then it was his turn to hook his fingers into her knickers and slide them down her legs.

For several long moments they stood under the spray, gazing at one another, taking their fill of the others body.

Lily started at his eyes, eyes that looked at her with such fondness, and traveled lower, down the expanse of his lean chest and strong thighs. She felt him do the same, watching her, taking in the rise and fall of her breasts as she struggled to regulate her breathing.

Later they would never remember who moved first. Lily's back met the cold tile as James planted his feet and lifted her so she could twine her legs around him. She shivered despite the heat radiating from him and clutched his shoulders, her fingers curling into the skin there as rivulets of water dripped from his unruly hair and slid over her skin.

Their lips met again, tongues seeking, as their bodies pressed together, slick and fevered in the small space. Lily held on, reveling in the strength of James, in the sleekness of his body, and the desperation with which he kissed her.

Eventually he released her, her feet touching the ground, their bodies parting only so he could reach for the lone towel and rip it off the rack.

He lifted her leg first, starting at the tips of her toes and working up her leg until he reached her thighs. He paid special attention to them, enjoying the way they tensed with his touch, and then moved to dry the part of her that was aching to be joined with him.

Lily inhaled sharply at the contact and James moved on to dry the rest of her. He handed over the towel when he was finished and though it wasn't quite as effective at drying him off, Lily used it to torment him in kind. She used the towel and her lips, brushing light kisses to various parts of him, laughing when he grabbed the towel and threw it aside so he could haul her out of the tub and into his arms.

They exploded into the bedroom, falling into bed together and immediately scrambling up to touch each other more, always more. Lily pushed him back into the pillows and straddled his waist. Her hands streaked over his chest, as he leaned up and took her breast into his mouth.

Lily gasped and gripped his shoulders, needing to hold some part of him in order to remain anchored to the bed. She was afraid, as he moved onto the other breast and her fingers danced over him, that if she let go she would simply float away and be lost forever.

Finally, their combined breathing sounding as if they had done laps around a Quidditch pitch, James pushed her back onto the bed. Moving over her, he pressed his forehead to hers briefly before their lips came together again.

Shuddering beneath him, Lily broke away and began guiding his body towards hers.

"Now, Potter."

His fingers traced a pattern along her thighs before skirting along the most sensitive part of her, eliciting a sharp cry from her lips.

"I need you."

Needing no more encouragement than her strangled cries, James dropped a kiss on her forehead, eyes, her cheeks, before she pressed her lips against his and he pressed into her. Lily moved her hips up to meet him, and their mingled moans filled the room.

Instead of moving within her, James held perfectly still, staring down at her with something akin to wonder. Lily felt her throat tighten, and she couldn't say anything as she reached up to cup his cheek.

James closed his eyes against the contact, the sweetness of it undoing him as he began to move.

"Evans," he breathed. "I can't…"

He wanted to say more, to say everything, to tell her how much this meant, how hard he was trying to keep from embarrassing himself and ending things before they started.

How much he loved her.

He couldn't find the words. She seemed to understand as she smiled up at him, moving her hand so she could cling to him; their bodies impossibly close, as they set a rhythm.

It wasn't long before he felt his body tightening. Using one hand, he reached between them, teasing the swollen flesh between her legs until his finger flicked over her clit. He repeated the process, loving the sound of her broken gasps until her body stilled and an orgasm swept through her, causing her body to tighten around him.

James let go then, his body shaking with the force of it. She pulled him against her fully and absorbed the spasms as they held onto each other tightly.

They lay like that for some time. Lily could tell he was doing his best not to crush her but she wanted his weight, welcomed the feel of him against her fully. James laughed softly when she pulled him down fully, and he could feel her smile in return.

"We should come to Paris more often."

"If this only happened because we're in Paris, I'll book a suite here every weekend. No, I'll buy us a house here."

Lily laughed delightedly and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. She lingered there and he thought his eyes might roll back in his head at the sensation, combined with the feel of her body pressed with his.

"Would you?"

James tugged on a strand of her hair in a fond gesture that made her heart beat a little faster.

"Yeah, I would."

* * *

They slept off and on for the remainder of the night.

Periodically they awoke and sought the other out in the darkness, longing for the feeling of skin on skin and the new thrill of being so deeply connected. By the end of the night the blankets were twisted around them at the foot of the bed and they were too exhausted, too wrapped up in each other, to do a thing about it.

Lily awoke instantly when the bed shifted. She sat up on her elbows groggily and watched as James sat on the edge of the bed, her eyes taking in the width of his shoulders and the strength of his back, before he grabbed his glasses from the nightstand and caught sight of her sitting up in bed.

"Hey, go back to sleep."

Lily lay back and he tucked the covers around her, despite the fact that it hid the body that he'd never tire of looking at. Lily caught his hand when he would have moved away and squeezed it lightly.

"Good morning."

"Morning."

He kissed her fingers before moving away to locate another towel for his shower. Lily followed his movements, and sighed quietly in contentment when he disappeared from view.

"Do you know when you'll be back?" she called as he switched on the shower.

"I should be around in time for lunch. Why don't you get some sleep and we'll go out later tonight?"

Lily took his advice, settling back against the pillows with the sound of running water lulling her, and drifted into a dreamless, restful sleep.

* * *

**A/N Well. Here we are. This chapter turned out to be completely jily-centric.**

**Finally, right?**

**We had a break from a lot of the Order business this chapter and I know some of you are eager to figure out what is going on and why Dumbledore invited certain people into the Order. A lot of issues will be brought up next chapter. I put a lot of time into what I wanted to happen and a lot of thought about how characters might work together to make the Order what it is, so please know that things are unfolding deliberately and there is a lot happening behind the scenes that will need to be revealed. The Order isn't something I just threw together on a whim and I hope that shows when certain things are revealed. Stick around. **


	23. Chapter 23

_"I knew something was wrong when the sun climbed higher and I was still on the forest floor. It turned out to be one of the longest night's of my life so far."_

_-Diary of Remus Lupin, January 1978_

**Chapter 23: Twisted threads**

* * *

For the most part life returned to normal when the couple returned to Godric's Hollow. They kept up appearances in public, still attending functions together and enduring the press. But once they were in the privacy of their own home, everything seemed to soften.

James arrived home from a day of meetings and paperwork. He deposited his bag by the door and tried to fight off the headache behind his eyes. He felt the weight of Lily's stare, watching him as he shrugged out of his coat and placed it on the hook, before he actually saw her. When he did locate her, perched on the counter with a heaping bowl of chocolate ice cream, she held the cold confection out in front of her preemptively.

"I'm eating."

"I can see that."

Lily laughed, the sound going straight through him and only further igniting the ache that started as soon as he walked through the door.

"I know that look," she admonished. "You're going to haul me upstairs and shag the daylights out of me."

"You're opposed to a good shagging before dinner?"

"No, it is your turn to cook, too. I am opposed to not being able to finish my ice cream first. I earned this ice cream," Lily added. "I had the worst sort of day."

James came to stand in front of her. He stood between her parted thighs and snagged a bite of her coveted ice cream. He knew very well that there was no chance of them going upstairs while there was dessert to be had.

"What happened?"

"We were understaffed. The mediwizards are renewing their contract and the board refused to consider a pay raise."

"Uh-oh."

"Exactly. They refuse to work until the negotiations are over."

"Which places an extra burden on you," James surmised.

"On all of us, really. It made for an incredibly long day."

They shared the remainder of her dessert until she was scraping the spoon against the sides to get the last of it.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm done with the ice cream."

She barely had time to set aside the dish before James lifted her into his arms, kissing every bit of skin in reach, and carried her upstairs. It wasn't much of a feat, really, to haul her around with him. He loved the way she delighted in it, clinging to him as he took the stairs as quickly as possible.

A little over an hour later, they were dozing lightly in bed. Lily was sprawled over his chest, her leg hooked around his, when a loud popping noise sounded downstairs.

"What was that?"

Lily sat up, going from lethargic to alert in a matter of seconds. James saw the panicked look she aimed at him and mirrored her movements. He threw off the covers and joined her in scrambling to throw on clothes, all while watching her expression for a clue as to what she knew that he didn't.

"Stay here," she ordered, an instant before summoning her wand.

"What the hell is going on?"

"James, please."

He heard the moaning, an agonized, pained sound, that had him hot on Lily's heels as she practically flew down the stairs. The sight that greeted him in the living room stopped him dead, even as she rushed forward and dropped to her knees to check Remus Lupin's vital signs, James stood staring at the crumpled figure of his friend.

"What," James saw the blood leaking onto the carpet and found it hard to continue. "What happened?"

"Accio black bag!"

A sizeable black bag sailed by his head, and James watched, stunned, as Lily began rifling through it for a set of healing cloths and a handful of bottles. Remus was rapidly losing blood and his body shook from head to toe, his teeth chattering wildly as he reached to circle Lily's wrist with thin fingers.

"The p-portkey w-was wrong."

"Shh," Lily soothed. "We'll talk about it later. Right now I need you to stay with me, okay? I know you're tired, Remus."

James snapped into motion then. He joined her, kneeling beside Remus and taking his mate's hand.

"What can I do?"

"Grab blankets from the hall closet and cask a heating charm on them," Lily instructed as she levitated Remus onto the couch, mindful of injuring him further.

She worked efficiently, quickly removing his wet clothing with a flick of her wand. Another flick and his wounds were cleaned so she could tuck the warm fabric quickly around his shaking body. He looked better already, the blue tint gone from his lips and his shivering wasn't as violent as it was before. Indeed, he was well enough to look James fully in the eye and wince, appearing apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Prongs."

"Rubbish, Moony," James insisted, unsure of what he was forgiving. "Rest, yeah?"

"Yeah," Remus murmured, eyelids drooping.

"Is it okay for him to sleep?"

"Yes. He's been healed properly and he's already fought sleep for too long. He's stable but he'll need monitoring."

She wouldn't look at him. Lily remained focused on Remus, observing the rise and fall of his chest, so jerky when they found him; his breathing was now smooth as he rested. James wasn't sure what was happening or why a Portkey brought Remus into their living room, but he was sure he wasn't going to like it, judging by the way his wife expertly avoided his eye.

Before he could question her further, she moved to the hall closet to fetch her coat. She was fastening the buttons when he found his voice again.

"You're _leaving_? Remus-"

"Won't wake up," she assured him."And if he does, send an owl and I'll come right back."

"Fuck's sake, Lily. Where are you going?"

He caught the steel glint in her emerald gaze, marveled at the anger he saw there, as she stepped into the fireplace.

"I need to speak with Professor Dumbledore."

* * *

Hogwarts was wonderfully familiar as Lily apparated at the designated point just beyond the grounds. It was always at its most splendid in the winter, when the grounds were covered in snow and allow students to play when they finished their classes.

The students were inside now. The Great Hall was filled to the brim with students and staff as they finished the last of their hearty meal. She could hear the sounds of their conversations, their laughter creating an unexpected ache in her chest, as she stormed the castle in the direction of the Headmaster's office.

"Mrs. Potter!" Professor McGonagall met her in the hall, aware of her presence thanks to the wards that monitored the coming and going of inhabitants and visitors.

"Take me to Professor Dumbledore."

"The headmaster is in a meeting. I have no idea what has brought you here in such a mood, but he must not be disturbed."

"That's not good enough for me."

The older woman bristled and Lily moved past her, determined to see the Headmaster come hell or high water. She could practically feel the anger singing in her veins, moving her forward. She thought of Remus, half dead as he landed in their living room. Then James, the questions he would ask and the answers she couldn't give without the permission of one man.

The entire situation was a cock up and she wouldn't stop until she found out why everything had blown up in their faces.

"Surely, you know-"

"Minerva, I will see the headmaster even if I have to tear Hogwarts apart stone by stone to do so. Either you take me to him or I start tearing into the castle."

She brandished her wand and aimed it at the wall in front of her. Professor McGonagall looked as if she might disarm the young woman before sighing and motioning Lily to follow her.

"Put your wand away and I'll take you to see him."

They burst into his office, startling the Ministry official who was seated across from the Headmaster. The intrusion hardly seemed to bother Professor Dumbledore who smiled apologetically at the other man, the damnable twinkle still present behind his spectacles.

"Ah, I am sorry Mr. Wilder, but we will need to cut our meeting short. It appears that Mrs. Potter wishes to speak with me."

The other man left the room in a hurry, nodding briefly in Lily's direction but otherwise avoiding her ire.

"Minerva, thank you for escorting Mrs. Potter. You may return to dinner."

After Professor McGonagall left, Dumbledore rose to his feet and gestured for her to sit in the chair across from him.

"What is it I can do for you, Mrs. Potter?"

"I want to know what it is you're playing at, Professor."

Despite the heat in her tone, the wizard hardly looked ruffled as he surveyed her. Her anger was a palpable thing in the overflowing office, hardly something he could miss. And yet he looked entirely too calm as if he had been expecting this conversation and her anger for some time.

"Pardon an old man for his confusion, Mrs. Potter, but I require further explanation. What is it that is troubling you?"

"I want to know why Remus Lupin's Portkey malfunctioned. He was supposed to be sent to his home last night to recover from his transformation. Somehow he ended up in my living room."

"Ah, you are right, in so much that the timing of the Portkey was off. I intended for Remus to be treated sooner. It was meant to send Remus much earlier than it did, I'm afraid."

"You meant for him to come to my home?"

Lily could hardly make sense of what he was saying. She dropped into the chair in front of him, mostly to support her suddenly weak legs rather than to appease his courteous offering.

"No, that doesn't make sense. Surely he could have been sent somewhere else. Professor, you said so yourself that no one must know about my activities with the Order, including James. You said it would be difficult but I could do it, and I have."

Lily stared at him in confusion as more questions tumbled into her mind. She didn't give voice to them; instead she studied the headmaster, wary at the sudden shift in his expression. If she didn't know any better she would say he looked guilty, the twinkle dimming in his eyes.

Realization dawned and she looked at him in amazement.

"You wanted James to find out, didn't you? But you could have asked him yourself! You could have asked me to bring him to a meeting. Instead you sacrificed Remus."

"What happened to Mr. Lupin was most unfortunate. Please believe me, it was never my intention for any harm to come to him."

"He could have died, Professor!"

They both knew there was a silent _and it would have been your fault_ tacked on to the end of her sentence. The headmaster acknowledged her charge and inclined his head. He looked pained as he rose to his feet to retrieve a metal dish and place it before her on the desk.

"I believe, Mrs. Potter, that I will need the aid of this Pensieve to explain everything to your satisfaction."

Lily eyed the swirling silver liquid warily and then watched as the Headmaster held the tip of his wand to his temple and selected a memory for her to view.

"I understand your anger. In fact, I am the first to admit that it is not misplaced. And yet I will ask you to view my memories, to understand the desperation that has made me act in this manner."

* * *

Lily was in the Potter home. She felt at ease among the books and the smell of tobacco in Charlus' study. She wanted to curl up in one of the chairs as she had done so many times before and let time drift away from her, to forget the events that had led her to this memory.

Instead she stood and focused at the conversation taking place between Charlus Potter and the headmaster, as the headmaster's memory unfurled around her.

"Surely you know why I'm here, Charlus," the headmaster said with an urgency that surprised her. "You must have heard about the attack in Hogsmeade."

"Of course I have, Albus. What is it you expect me to do? I've been out of the game for some time."

"Quite right. I am not asking for anything more than you can give. However, I am in need of your contacts."

Charlus waited for him to continue, appearing ill at ease as the headmaster continued.

"I have called together a group of like minded individuals, those who wish to combat the darkness that appears to be overtaking our world. They have agreed to be soldiers in this war, but I need resources, Charlus, the kind of resources that a man such as you has amassed over the years."

After several long moments of silence, Charlus nodded.

"I can put you in contact with anyone you need," he said slowly. "On one condition."

"Name it."

"The soldiers you mentioned. James cannot be one of them. If I give you the access you ask for, you must promise not to ask James or Sirius to take part. James will surely charge straight into danger if Sirius involves himself."

Lily felt a stab of pain at the truth in his words. Her entire chest ached with the thought of James, loyal to a fault and willing to put himself in danger for those he loved. She knew now what the headmaster had been getting at. He had fulfilled the request of Charlus Potter, keeping his son out of danger for as long as possible, until he had no choice but to come up with another way to secure his involvement.

By asking Lily and then Remus, who Charlus had not mentioned, Dumbledore was securing James' decision to join. She knew of the recent deaths among her fellow members, she knew that they were always constantly looking for more bodies to help them fight.

Dumbledore had started looking past what was good for the individual and toward the good of their world. It was clear that he wouldn't pass up the chance to have James Potter and Sirius Black in the Order even if it meant bending his promise to Charlus.

"As you wish, Charlus. I will not speak with either of them about it."

"Thank you."

The image of Charlus, so relieved and assured of the safety of his son was seared into her mind before she was dragged from the memory and back into the office of the headmaster. Lily stumbled, feeling off balance, she looked to the headmaster who caught her arm to keep her from falling.

"What do I do?"

She didn't realize she was crying until the headmaster offered her his handkerchief. She didn't use it to wipe away the wetness. Instead, she curled her hand into a fist and let him see her grief.

"You will return home and present your husband with two choices. He can take the oath and join the Order. If he refuses, you will use a Memory Charm to ensure his safety and yours."

"And Sirius? What about Sirius and Peter?"

"Their wives have both been alerted. They will do the same."

Dumbledore watched her, his eyes glowing with sadness as she prepared to take her leave. His words stopped her just before she reached the door.

"The Order needs more capable witches and wizards. We cannot continue with such low numbers. You must know, Lily, I would never ask this of my former students if it wasn't vital to the survival of our world," his voice softened as he continued. "Dear girl, you must know, it was never my intent to torment you this way."

Lily didn't respond. She merely deposited the handkerchief on a table near the door and continued on her way.

* * *

Remus slept through that night and into the next.

Lily kept watch the entire time. She curled up in one of the chairs in their living room and alternated between watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, to looking outside as the sun rose and lowered in the sky. She sent an owl to work, telling them that an emergency had come up and she would be off work for several days. She received a reply letting her know that her time off was granted only because the strike was over and they were no longer short staffed.

In that time she did not speak to James.

He had been full of questions as soon as she returned home but he sensed her mood, the profound sadness that haunted her, and took her into his arms instead. He made no demands but bided his time until Remus left and they were alone with his questions.

Lily was grateful for the time to think. She hardly moved except to stir Remus in order to administer a nourishing potion or check his dressings, and then she returned to thinking, her thoughts wildly out of control as she prepared for her conversation with James.

She had known from the beginning that they would have to talk about it. She couldn't be whisked away and thrown into battle at all hours without it coming up. What she hadn't counted on was the fact that the Order would need him, and the others. She thought, however naively, that he would be safe. She knew she had been enlisted for her capability as a Healer and she had agreed to join with the idea that James would be safe from being asked to join.

Lily never dreamed that the Order would be in a bad enough way for her small family to fall prey to the expert manipulation that Albus had orchestrated.

They worked together to get Remus home and tucked into bed. Lily left him a stack of books should he get bored and need entertainment and promised to be back later to eat with him, before taking her leave with James.

"I have a plan," Lily said when they arrived back at Godric's Hollow. She could see his impatience and steeled her voice into some version of calm.

"I'm listening."

Lily told him everything, per instruction. She talked about being asked to join and the evenings when he slept and she was out fighting for her life and the lives of the other Order members. She saw his face twist into a look of pain when she mentioned the failed Portkey and his father's plea to keep him out of the brewing war.

She wanted to comfort and seek comfort but she wouldn't touch him. She stayed rooted to her side of the couch, twisting her hands in her lap.

She told him everything, her words halting and ending with a promise.

"You can be safe. All you have to do is say no and I'll-"

"You'll what? Obliviate me?"

"Yes, but it will be your choice."

"You would ask me to do that? I never realized you took me for a coward."

James left her then, going to the window to stare out at the snow covered garden rather than look at her. Lily looked at the tense set of his shoulders and couldn't help herself. She bit down on the sob thickening her throat and dropped her head in her hands. Her eyes welled and tears spilled down her cheeks.

For the most part she was relieved that James knew and didn't hate her for keeping it from him. At the same time she was terrified of him getting involved and being injured, or worse. She was also unspeakably angry that the headmaster had forced her to keep James unaware of her activities when he planned on having him find out the entire time.

She felt James move so he was in front of her, kneeling, he peeled her hands away from her face and took her into his arms. She clung to him, her tears falling freely as she wrapped her arms around his neck and held on.

"I don't want to lose you."

The words were spoken so quietly he might have missed them. His hands went to her hair, soothing her fear and the pain that nearly took his breath away. He could practically feel her panic, hear it even as her sobs quieted and she made no move to loosen her hold around his neck.

"You won't lose me. You have to know that I'd fight like hell to come home to you."

He could still feel her tears soaking his shirt but her voice was strong, if thick, when she lifted her head, saying, "Don't ask me not to worry. I love you too much not to."

He stared back at her, into the emerald depths of the delightful, foolish witch in his arms.

"And I love you too much to let you take on the entire Wizarding world by yourself."

* * *

**A/n F****or the record? The Pensieve takes place before James was married. I just didn't have a good way to work that into their conversation, so I'm stating it here.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: Family**

_"I was unconscious for it, but I would have liked to see the pair of them acting that way so I could have told them to cut it out. We're family, like it or not. Without each other, I doubt we'll get through this thing alive."_

_-Diary of Remus Lupin, January 1_

The couple arrived together that evening to check in on Remus. He was still recovering from the moon and the exhaustion from the failed Order transport. Lily brought enough soup to last him a week. As James wandered into the bedroom to check on Remus, she ladled it into a bowl and used a quick heating charm.

She was slicing thick chunks of homemade bread when she heard the Floo roar to life. In the cramped living room, Sirius stepped out first, followed closely by a panic stricken Marlene.

Lily looked closely between the two, her hand going automatically to her wand at the look of pure anger Sirius aimed in her direction.

"Sirius, this isn't the time. Remus is still recovering-"

"This is the perfect time," Sirius snarled. His wand was already brandished, aimed carefully at the center of Lily's chest.

From the corner of her eye, Lily watched James approach. He moved carefully from the bedroom doorway, a look of disbelief on his face at the sight of the drawn wands.

"For fuck's sake, Padfoot. What are you doing?"

"I want to know what the bloody hell Evans was thinking, dragging Moony into this Order business."

James came to stand next to Lily and she drew comfort in the feeling of solidarity. She almost winced when Sirius looked between them, noting the closeness of their bodies and the way James placed himself subtly between them.

"So that's the way of it."

Sirius lowered his wand with a derisive scoff.

"I don't know what you're on about, but if it wasn't for my wife, Remus would be dead."

"Your wife is the reason he was almost killed! She got him into the mess to begin with!"

"Sirius-" Lily tried to interject, feeling tears clog her throat at the truth of his words.

Sirius continued on, determined to ignore her, he focused on James and took his shot.

"I suppose now that the pair of you are shagging, you'll ignore the fact that she almost got Moony killed."

All at once, the air seemed to rush out of the room. Marlene dropped her head and studied a spot on the floor with keen interest while James turned a deep shade of red. Lily dropped her wand, let it slip through her fingers so it dropped onto the floor and rolled away from her. It was the only sound in the room.

Sirius kept his wand trained on her, not caring that she was no longer armed. He didn't care about anything other than the fact that she was directly responsible for bringing harm to a member of his family. He recognized that she wouldn't fight him on this, but his anger refused to let him lower his wand.

It was James who moved first. He was across the room in an instant, grabbing a fistful of Sirius' shirt as he dragged him toward the door.

"Outside. Now." James bit out.

The door closed with a bang that shook the entire flat. Paying no mind to her audience, Lily dropped heavily into one of the battered chairs. Her entire body felt heavier. It was a feeling she felt creeping up on her over the past few weeks. She mostly attributed it to the increasing chaos that was invading her life. However, now she knew that the heaviness was the feeling of everything and everyone changing around her.

Eventually, Marlene pulled up a chair across from her. Lily wasn't in the mood for conversation but offered up a weak smile.

Sensing the red head's mood, Marlene merely smiled back and kicked the leg of the other woman's chair, lightly.

"So. You and Potter are shagging, are you?"

Lily's laugh was sudden and bright in the shabby room.

* * *

"Temper, James." Sirius drawled mockingly. When James released him, he moved to smooth his shirt but James batted his hands aside and gave him one swift shove so he stumbled back into the wall. Sirius felt his back connect with the brick and winced. He recovered quickly and shot a knowing look in James' direction.

"You going to hit me now, too?"

James was breathing heavily. He could feel the anger tightening his chest, ready to erupt at the look of amusement on Sirius' face.

"Don't ever pull your wand on her again."

"In case you missed it back there, I wasn't the only one who had their wand out. She's a big girl, prongs-"

"She's my wife!" James exploded. "You pulled your fucking wand on my wife, Sirius. You're lucky she didn't knock you on your arse, or worse."

Sirius looked completely affronted by such a suggestion.

"What's that supposed to mean? I think I could hold my own against _Evans_."

"She's been training to defend herself against Death Eater's. I'm sure she'd have no problem giving you a run for your money."

"So, what? She's fighting the bad guys and you're shagging her, so that excuses her from recruiting Remus into her little club and nearly getting him killed?"

"She would never put Remus in danger, intentionally. Lily's torn up about it as it is-"

"Torn up about it?" Sirius snarled. "Bugger that. He almost died-"

"Do you think I don't know how serious his injuries were? I do! That doesn't give you the right to draw on Lily," James' voice lowered with emotion, "Pad, she's family."

"Remus is my family! What about that?" Sirius said with heat. "I'm gad you and Evans are having a good time playing house, but Moony is my family," Sirius clenched his jaw and looked away. "The way I see it, she put him in danger and she doesn't get off for that just because she bats her lashes and says sorry."

They lapsed into silence, neither having anything else to say on the matter.

The silence stretched out until Sirius pushed off from the wall.

"Tell Remus I'll be back tonight, once you and Mrs. Potter clear out for the night."

Without looking at James, he walked away from the flat and, with a faint pop, disappeared from sight.

* * *

Peter arrived not long after Sirius left. He ate and visited with Remus and James, and Lily left them to it. She ate with Marlene, serving the other woman a bowl of soup and settling into the living room with her. She welcomed their aimless conversation. They chatted about nothing of importance, content to enjoy their meal and the company rather than focus on the events of the afternoon or the reprocussions.

It wasn't until everyone else had cleared out, and James was cleaning up the kitchen, that Lily took her turn sitting with Remus. She gave him a quick look-over, using several spells to check the state of his recovery. He was healing well with no sign of infection and stirred when she took a seat next to the bed.

"Lily."

"You should go back to sleep," She gently admonished.

His voice was quiet, barely carrying enough so she could hear him.

"I heard about what happened. With Sirius."

"It was nothing."

"He has a temper, and occasionally he acts without thinking it through first."

"Sirius Black, impulsive? Never," Lily's smile was genuine and Remus laughed.

"And he's overprotective to a fault. They told me that he blames you for what happened."

"They shouldn't be bothering you with any of that. Your job is to rest right now."

"Don't," Remus said firmly. He struggled to sit up against his pillows, waving away Lily's offer to assist him. "They were right to tell me. I joined the Order because I wanted to, because I believe I'm doing the right thing. A mistake was made, but it wasn't your fault. He isn't right to blame you, and you can't blame yourself."

Lily heard what he was saying. She appreciated his words, but guilt still churned in her gut. They chatted for a few minutes more, until, in the middle of conversation, Remus fell back into a deep sleep.

* * *

Late that night, James was still awake and staring at the ceiling. The other side of the bed, usually occupied by Lily's sleeping form, was empty. He felt her absence in the strangest way. The bed was practically overflowing with space, without her. He wouldn't have noticed it before, but now the emptiness was all too apparent.

Eventually, he went looking for her. He searched downstairs, thinking she might be snacking on a large bowl of her coveted ice cream, or polishing off a bottle of wine. It didn't occur to him to check her old bedroom. He found her sleeping at the edge of the bed, against the wall. She was curled up under the comforter, her breathing deep and even.

Satisfied that she was at least safe and resting, James left her to sleep and retreated to the emptiness of his room.

* * *

**A/N Hello! Yes, it's been forever. And each time this happens, I promise I really am sorry.**

**This chapter is a transition. **

**Also, it wasn't really my intention to make anyone choose sides. Like, Team Lily or Team Sirius. You can, of course because you're the reader! But I don't really see a bad guy in this chapter, so I'm interested to hear what you think. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: Growing pains**

"_Nothing ever stays settled with us for too long. Normalcy, wouldn't that be nice?" _

_Diary of Marlene McKinnon, February 1978_

* * *

"James-"

"-no."

"You don't even know what I was going to say!"

James sent a challenging look across the table, indicating that he knew exactly what she was going to say, and that he was having none of it. Lily poked at her dinner, budging the roast with little interest in tasting it.

James settled back in his chair with his glass of Firewhiskey, indicating that she should go on.

"Fine. Let's have it, then."

Lily set aside her fork and began drumming her fingers quietly on the table.

"I think you should consider speaking with Sirius."

"No."

"James!"

"Lily!"

His mock serious expression dissolved and Lily shook her head, laughing as she pushed aside her plate and went around the table to deposit herself in his lap.

"Hear me out, okay?"

James wrapped her in his arms, his chin coming to rest on the top of her head.

"I'm listening."

"It's been weeks since you two have spoken. I know that it's complicated and you're both stubborn, but I think you should try. The world isn't right when you and Sirius aren't plotting."

When she finished her speech, James adjusted her so she was facing him, and gripped her chin gently so she would meet his eyes.

"I'm not okay with what happened between you two."

"I understand. But I'm okay. Sirius is okay. No one was hurt."

"That's not the point."

It was her turn to grip his face. She planted her hands on either side of his face, holding him in place so she could look into his eyes as she said, "It is the point. He was upset with me, and I understand why. I'd rather not solve every issue with an almost-duel, but I get it."

"Why are you pushing this?"

Lily released his face and leaned away from him. She grabbed his glass from the table and finished it off before speaking.

"Frank was injured."

James paled, his grip on her tightening slightly.

"Is he..?"

"No. He's alive. He'll make a full recovery. He was out with Marlene and they stumbled on a bit of trouble," Lily took a deep breath before continuing, "Sirius is on patrol tomorrow night. I just think it would be nice if you two could speak before then."

She settled back into his arms, resting her head against his chest. James stared out the window, not really seeing the falling snow.

"I'll send an owl tonight, love."

* * *

They met at Remus' flat. The werewolf made a full recovery weeks before. He was back to being between jobs, but had takeout waiting when everyone arrived.

Peter was already there when James arrived. He looked around nervously when the door opened and Sirius blew in, shaking off the snow that dusted his coat. Remus hardly looked fazed by the tension that entered the room. He merely kicked back in his chair and settled in with dinner.

"Food's on the stove, Pad."

"Any Firewhiskey on hand?"

"No. We're doing this sober. More fun that way."

Sirius mumbled something under his breath and grabbed a plate. He threw himself into the nearest chair, tucking into dinner without so much as a look in James' direction.

"We're having a family dinner in Godric's Hollow."

James looked directly at Sirius as he spoke.

"If you're not there, I'll Floo over to your place and drag you kicking and screaming. Understood?"

Sirius chewed his bite of food, glancing at James for the first time in several weeks. He swallowed, washing it down with whatever liquid he salvaged from the fridge.

"I'll be there on one condition."

Mouths full, seeing no reason to speak, Remus and Peter exchanged glances. They could only imagine what _condition_ Sirius would come up with.

"What's that?"

"I'll be there if you promise not to cook. Your culinary attempts are downright lethal."

"Prat."

"Git," Sirius shot back good-naturedly.

Both men were grinning, having abandoned their dinners.

"Excellent," Remus commented. "I'm glad that's over with."

Remus made a point of hauling Peter into the kitchen under the pretense of locating something suitable for dessert. In reality, they stood around snacking on biscuits, giving James and Sirius a moment to get whatever else needed saying out of the way.

Sirius' smile dimmed, somewhat, and he cleared his throat.

"Would you tell Evans...tell _Lily_, that I'm sorry?"

"Tell her yourself when you come to dinner."

"Why must you make everything so difficult, Prongs?"

James shrugged and stole a bite from Sirius' plate just to get a rise out of him. He smiled widely when Sirius shoved him away and brought his plate close to his chest protectively.

"Sirius, she's my wife. I love her. But you're my closest friend. I'd rather have the pair of you getting along than cursing one another at holiday gatherings."

Sirius winced.

"Fair point. I'll speak to the misses, okay?"

"Okay. Now, more importantly, I think it's time to raid Moony's cupboards for something sweet."

Sirius set aside his plate with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"He always hides the quality chocolates."

"Bet I can find them before you can," James goaded.

"You're on, stag-boy. Prepare to lose."

* * *

There was nothing like one of Moody's emergency meetings to throw a wrench in Lily's plan for a peaceful night at home with James. They were both working too many hours during the week, and coupled with Order duties, it was a miracle if they were able to spend more than a few hours together during the week.

At night, they were too tired to stay awake and talk or even muster the energy for a roll between the sheets. Instead, they fell into bed together, an exhausted tangle of limbs. They were asleep instantly.

She apparated to this week's headquarters and with a passing hello to the people grouped around the kitchen table, put on the kettle.

"Lily, have you seen Marlene?" Alice asked from the table.

"I just got here, but I didn't see her on the way in."

"I think she took one of the spare rooms to grab a bit of shut eye," Remus remarked. "It might be best if Lily wakes her up. Marlene tends to wake up swinging, and Lily has the best reflexes for the job."

Lily stuck her tongue out at her friend and he laughed, holding up his hands defensively.

"Better you than me, mate!"

Lily waited until the tea was ready. She poured a cup for Marlene, hoping it would sweeten the rude awakening. She went in search of the other woman, poking her head in and out of bedrooms until she reached the last one, tucked away in the back of the house.

Lily opened the door softly, poking her head in she said, "Hey, Mar. Sorry to, shite. Sorry."

She made a hasty retreat into the hallway, having caught site of Marlene and Sirius sleeping soundly in the cramped bed. They were both fully clothed and obviously sleeping, but there was something about their proximity in the bed and the way they were curled toward one another that made her feel like she was intruding.

It was only a minute later that Marlene appeared in the hall, shutting the door behind her.

"Sorry about that," Lily said, just in case it wasn't clear by the way she practically ran from the room.

Lily handed over the cup of tea and Marlene accepted it with a grateful smile.

"Don't be. We were just sleeping."

"Right, of course. I shouldn't have barged in. That's all."

Marlene's laugh was quiet, careful to not wake the person sleeping on the other side of the door, but still highly amused.

"As if I expect any privacy in headquarters. What is it you were coming to tell me?"

"Moody called a meeting. Five minutes."

"I'll wake him," Marlene handed back the empty cup and smiled, appearing uncharacteristically shy. "Thank you for getting me, and the tea."

She turned away and disappeared back into the room, shutting the door quickly behind her.

Lily returned to the kitchen. She settled in with another cup of tea and took a seat between Remus and Alice. James entered the room not long after, throwing her a warm smile. Lily returned the look, watching as he made his way to an open seat at the opposite end of the table.

Marlene came in with a minute to spare. She sat down, looking exhausted and ready to go back to sleep. Lily felt for her. Patrols and missions were exhausting. The last thing she wanted to do after she completed her work was sit through a meeting. It was all she could do to get home, grab a shower, force a meal down her throat, and fall into bed.

Moody entered the room just as the stragglers were finding a place to sit. There was no sign of Sirius. The meeting started. Five minutes went by, then ten. Lily snuck a glance at Marlene, wondering if the other woman had actually bothered to wake him, or what they were playing at.

Nearly fifteen minutes into the meeting, while Moody was berating them for using magic in headquarters, risking being traced, the door flew open and Sirius strutted in. He looked wide awake, freshly showered, and only slightly apologetic about missing the beginning of Moody's lecture.

"Sorry 'bout that. Just got the memo that we were gathering."

Moody merely grunted and continued his lecture while Sirius found a seat as far away from Marlene as possible.

The meeting dragged on as Moody went over assignments and upcoming meetings. More than a few people looked close to nodding off, but no one dared. When it was over, Lily watched Marlene say a quick goodbye to Peter before making a hasty exit from the house.

Meanwhile, Sirius approached Lily, even offering a smile in case anyone was observing them.

"Lily? A word?"

"Sure."

She followed him into the other room, not surprised in the least when he cast a hasty charm to make sure they weren't overhead. They would have hell to pay if Moody found out, but it looked like Sirius was up to taking their chance with his wrath rather than being overheard.

"Marlene mentioned what you saw."

"I didn't see _anything_," Lily said truthfully. "Just two exhausted Order members catching a nap."

Sirius nodded casually, as if they were discussing the weather. "Right.

"Right. I just...I realize that you and I aren't on the friendliest terms. And I'd hate to have anything _untrue_ go around because of that."

Lily felt her cheeks flame with anger.

"I don't hold grudges, Sirius. And if I did? I still have nothing to tell. The pair of you fell asleep. End of story."

Disgusted by his characterization of her, Lily walked away. Leaving him to his thoughts, she went in search of James.

"End of story," Sirius remarked quietly to no one in particular.

* * *

Like most things, the dinner in Godric's Hollow got off to a wonderful start before going completely to hell.

The house was filled to maximum capacity. Lily enlisted Alice and Remus to help her keep things under control in the kitchen. Sirius and Peter prepared drinks, while James and Frank

set up the Muggle record player in the living room. Clover and Marlene watched as they thumbed through Lily's stack of records before settling on Bowie, her favorite.

They ate and drank, starting out at the kitchen table and then spreading out so they could enjoy the music and each others company. Lily settled in with Alice and Marlene, mostly listening to Alice's horror stories about her mother-in-law. The trio was laughing at Alice's particularly ridiculous impression of the older woman when the sound of breaking glass silenced the room, followed by a string of drunken expletives.

"Sirius!"

Marlene abandoned her drink and rushed to the other side of the room, where Peter had knocked Sirius as well as a vase of charmed flowers that James had bought for Lily, to the floor. Peter was on top of Sirius, the tip of his wand digging into the other man's throat as Sirius winced at the broken glass that was digging into the back of his neck.

"Pete-"

"Do you think I don't see the way you look at her?"

Everyone else in the room looked confused. Lily winced and saw Marlene place a shaking hand over her mouth and close her eyes. She touched Marlene's sleeve, gently trying to reassure her as James and Remus moved closer to Peter, trying to sort out how they could intervene without anyone being hurt.

"I'm not daft, Sirius. I see you look at her! And she looks at you, too."

Sirius began nodding. The tip of the wand dug into his neck, but he never looked away from Peter.

"I'm sorry, Peter."

"She never looked at you that way before. And now she d-does!"

All eyes swung to Marlene. She looked between her husband and Sirius, her eyes damp, but her head held high.

"I'm so sorry, Peter."

Looking pained, Peter shoved Sirius back into the floor. He pushed past everyone, snatching his coat from the hook by the door, and storming through the front door without looking back.

"James, he can't apparate in that state. He's too drunk."

James nodded. In an instant, he and Remus had grabbed their coats and burst through the front door. Frank and Clover began straightening the flowers and repairing the vase. Marlene was still standing absolutely still, looking shell-shocked by what had just happened.

That left Lily to extend her hand to Sirius. He took it with a rueful look and grimaced as she helped him off the glass that had been digging into the back of his neck and head.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

She ushered him upstairs and into the loo. Lily had him sit on the edge of the tub as she removed the shards of glass with her wand. She then cleaned and patched him up, working in total silence.

"Peter might have been able to forgive me if we'd just shagged. He wasn't supposed to figure out that I'm in love with her."

Lily finished covering the final cut. She was steady and precise, despite her surprise.

"Does he love her?"

"I don't know. They don't have a marriage like you and James. But they also don't have the type of arrangement that Clover and I have."

"He's drunk, Sirius. You'll be able to actually have a conversation with him once he sobers up."

Sirius nodded, his hand going to the back of his neck where she had bandaged him up.

"Thank you. For cleaning me up, and for not telling anyone."

Lily helped him up, rolling her eyes gently at his lack of faith.

"I told you I wouldn't."

"I know. I didn't think you would. Still," he leaned in quickly so he wouldn't embarrass them both, and kissed her cheek. It was a fleeting, fond gesture that was given and received in the brotherly manner in which it was intended.

"Thank you, Lily."

"You're welcome. Now, let's get you back downstairs."

* * *

James and Remus were back by the time Lily and Sirius came back downstairs. Sirius went to them, first, looking grim as he approached and waited to hear if Peter got home safely.

Frank and Alice were levitating clean dishes into their rightful homes. Lily thanked them and walked them out, promising that they would have another, more serene dinner another time.

After Frank and Alice left, Lily found Marlene and Clover tucked into the corner, chatting quietly. She wanted to leave them to their conversation. She figured they had plenty to discuss, and was surprised when Clover waved her over.

As she drew closer, Lily noticed Marlene's smeared eye makeup and the miserable look she was trying to hide. Clover hardly looked ruffled. She pressed another drink into Marlene's hands and patted the woman's shoulder fondly.

"Lily, I need you to tell Clover how much I actually hate being married."

Marlene sputtered and choked on her drink. Clover thumped her soundly on the back, looking at Lily expectantly. Lily dropped onto the chair across from them and nodded in agreement with Clover's statement.

"It's true."

"Please also inform her that my feelings are not hurt and I don't think she's a horrendous slag. Her words, not mine."

"Clover's feelings are not hurt and-"

"Okay!" Marlene gave a watery laugh. "I get it. I just, I didn't mean for any of this..."

"Of course not. But it did happen," Clover said quietly. "What's happening between you and Sirius is between the pair of you. I've never had any plans to have a real marriage with him. We get along fine, but neither of us had any plans to remain faithful to each other. You'll have to see what happens with you and Peter, but you won't have any problems with me."

"I don't understand how you're so calm through all of this," Marlene said in amazement.

"It's her Slytherin showing," Lily said teasingly. "She could face Voldemort, himself, and be perfectly unruffled."

"I have no reason to be ruffled. You're sleeping with a husband who I was forced to marry, and you and Lily appear to be on friendlier terms than you were before," Clover patted Marlene's hand as she got to her feet. "You'll figure things out with Peter. I would stay longer, but I have an early morning in the shop and patrol tomorrow night."

The three women said their goodbye's. Clover stopped to say goodbye to Remus and James before grabbing a quick word with Sirius in private. Marlene watched as the pair said goodbye and even hugged briefly.

Sirius' eyes found Marlene's. Lily wanted to sink into her chair and disappear when he offered Marlene a hand up. She averted her eyes when Sirius kissed Marlene's forehead, whispering, "I'm sorry" over and over again as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"We'll talk about it later."

* * *

Marlene ended up staying the night. She didn't think it would do any good to try to go to the house she shared with Peter, and she didn't feel right staying with Sirius.

Lily made up the spare bed for her. Transfiguring a pair of pajamas that would fit her, and getting her settled in.

"If you need anything, just let me know."

"Thanks, Lily."

Lily merely smiled and flipped off the light.

"Lily?"

She flipped the light on again to reveal a sheepish Marlene.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry," Marlene blurted. "About the way I acted when you and James were first married."

"That was ages ago, Mar-"

"No. I've known James for ages, and I thought you would be horrible to him, so I was horrible to you. And I'm sorry for that."

"It's forgotten. Really. If I remember correctly, Clover was more than adequate at giving you a hard time in return."

"Very true," Marlene laughed quietly.

"Just get some sleep."

"Okay, goodnight."

"Goodnight, Marlene."

* * *

"The Marauders are an exhausting lot," Lily commented when she finally fell into bed.

James rolled over, opening her arms so she could scoot into them. He kissed the top of her head and cuddled her close.

"At least it never gets boring."

"Mhmm."

"But no alcohol at the next get-together. That decreases the odds of a fight breaking out."

Lily laughed and tucked her head into James' chest, drifting quickly and easily into sleep.

* * *

**A/N Hello again! I'm doing my best to move this story along. Ideally, we have about 8 chapters left. I wanted to capture the first year of Lily and James' marriage. I won't be going into their death. Instead, I want to focus on their relationships with their friends and all the chaos that comes with this time in their life. **


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Alone at last

_"It always feels like the house is full. We have Order members and friends dropping in constantly. You would think it would get tiring, but I actually feel comforted that we're not alone in all this."_

-From the diary of Lily Potter, March 1978

* * *

Marlene stayed with the young couple for several weeks. In that time, Sirius visited once. He came with Remus and stayed for dinner. He and Marlene were polite to one another but didn't spend any time alone or speak privately. After the meal was finished, Sirius left with Remus and Marlene retreated to the guest room for the rest of the evening.

For the most part, Peter kept to himself. Remus and James approached him several times, meeting him for lunch and stopping by the house. He refused to mention Marlene and never asked how she was doing, but he seemed more forgiving of Sirius as the weeks wore on.

Lily enjoyed having Marlene with them. It was nice to have someone in the house to keep her company when James was away for long stretches. The couple had opposite schedules and were hardly seeing each other between work and Order duties. Lily thought it was good that Marlene was there to keep her from becoming too bored or isolated.

At the end of the second week, Marlene decided it was time for her to move into a small, pre-furnished flat. She made the announcement at breakfast, surprising Lily with the news.

"You're sure? You know you're more than welcome to stay in the spare room."

"I know. And I appreciate that. But I don't see myself moving back in with Peter any time soon," she shrugged and stared down at her toast as she picked at the crust. "It's time I find something more permanent."

Lily offered to help, but Marlene would have none of it. She was gone by lunch, already moved into a closet-size flat.

Lily spent the rest of the day tidying the house, running out for errands, and trying not to watch the clock for when she knew James would be home. It wasn't that she had plenty to do. She did. It was her first day off in over a week, and she had plenty to catch up on. But that didn't stop her from missing James. She had grown used to his company, in and out of bed and she was really feeling the lack of time they had together.

When he arrived home at seven that night, she had a heating charm on his dinner. She was going over some of the work she brought home with her when he came through the door and dropped his bag. She glanced up, grinning as he shed his coat and crossed the room to lift her into his arms.

Lily laughed and threw the papers crushed between them back on the table. She pressed her nose into his neck, smelling the cold weather and uniquely James Potter smell. She peppered kisses at the base of his throat and he gave a delighted laugh while pressing her closer.

"Where's Marlene?"

"She's all moved in to her new flat."

James reared back, eyes dancing behind his glasses.

"Is that so?"

Lily tried to hold back a smile, nodding slowly.

"What are you going to do about it, Potter?"

They were upstairs and tumbling into bed in record time. It was a race of fevered hands, each swearing as they tugged at buttons and tossed aside articles of clothing. James nearly fell on his arse in an attempt to rid himself of his trousers. Normally they would have a good laugh about the sight of him hopping from foot to foot, cursing, as Lily tugged her sweater over her head and started for the clasp of her bra.

It had been too long since they had any alone time, and this was no laughing matter. Finally, James threw himself into bed, wrapping an arm around Lily's waist and hauling her on top of his chest. He caught her lips in a desperate, near crazed kiss, and nearly lost it then and there when her hands began roaming over his body. Clever witch that she was, she moved down his hips, grazing his tensed thighs, and ghosted around the one part of him that wanted to feel her touch, most.

"Cheeky, Evans," he gasped.

"Potter," Lily corrected firmly.

Her hand wrapped around him and James had to recite Quidditch stats to keep from ending things too soon. His entire body tensed at the feel of her ministrations, a groan escaped as her lips trailed over his chest, nipping every so often to keep him on his toes.

"Potter," he said a bit breathlessly.

"That's right."

Her words sent a thrill through him. As good as her touch felt, James curled his hand around her wrist, attempting to draw her hand away.

"Lily, if you don't stop..."

She smiled, leaning up to press a kiss to his chin.

"We've got time."

It wasn't long before James threw his head back, his body shuddering as Lily touched him just-so. Her lips were close to his ear, whispering encouragement with the kind of lewd sentiments that made it impossible for him to hold out.

When it was over, he could hardly move. His entire body was exhausted and the most he could manage was tugging Lily half on top of him to plant a kiss on her temple.

"As soon as I can remember my own name, I'm paying you back for that."

"Looking forward to it," Lily teased.

They stayed like that for some time. Initially they spoke quietly about what they had been up to all day and what they had planned for the rest of the week. Eventually they lapsed into silence as James' hand moved from Lily's waist to softly skim her sides. He felt her inhale shakily and grinned into her hair as she released her breath on a sigh. His fingers traced a lazy, random pattern on her abdomen before moving lower, treating her to a similar torment that she had shown him.

"J-James..."

"Hmm?"

"I can't...mmm,"

"I'm sorry, love, I didn't quite catch that."

Lily was saved from swatting him for his cheekiness by a loud, insistent chirping sound that came from downstairs.

"Fuck!" She cried as James immediately stopped what he was doing and sat up.

James winced, appearing guilty at the untimely interruption. He kissed her forehead and rolled away to hunt for his trousers.

"I'll go see what they want."

"Potter!"

He turned and Lily tossed him his wand, just in case. He caught it deftly and threw her a smile before starting downstairs. Lily sighed as she gathered her clothes. She was a bundle of sexual frustration, her body practically vibrating with unspent energy. She dressed quickly, shoving her frustration aside for the moment.

"Lily! I need you!"

Lily finished haphazardly buttoning her sweater. Half of the buttons didn't match up and she was missing a sock, but there was no mistaking the urgency in James' voice. She grabbed her wand from the nightstand and took the stairs two at a time.

There was a small crowd gathered in her living room. James was pacing near the door while Moody eyed him cautiously. She Alice who was slumped in a chair, looking thoroughly miserable and seated between a helpless Remus and mournful Dorcas.

"What's happened?"

No one spoke at first. Lily was a second away from marching over to James and shaking the answer out of him when Remus glanced up and cleared his throat.

"Several of our members are unaccounted for."

Lily felt the familiar, sickening dread settle in her stomach. She hated to ask, but needed to know.

"Who?"

"Black and Longbottom. McKinnon heard that Black was missing and went to find him. We haven't heard from her since," Moody said gruffly.

"There was an incident in Hogsmeade," Clover announced. She emerged from the kitchen to press a steaming cup into Alice's trembling hands. "Several shops were targeted. Sirius and Frank were doing surveillance, completely unrelated to what happened, and were lost in the confusion."

"How long since we've been in contact with them?"

"Hours," Alice said quietly. "Frank was supposed to be home hours ago."

"We're sending a small group to look for them," James said quietly. Speaking directly to Lily, he said, "I want you to come with me."

"Out of the question," Moody barked.

"There's a reason we don't put spouses together. Don't make me repeat myself, Potter."

James looked ready to explode. He stopped pacing long enough to shoot a mutinous glare at Moody.

"Put her with Remus, then. I'll go with Dorcas. Just do something. We have to move _now_."

"James is right," Dorcas said forcefully. "McGonagall is organizing the others, but what good are we just sitting here?"

Moody wasn't so easily swayed. It was another twenty minutes, after communicating with McGonagall and Dumbledore, before Lily, Remus, James, and Dorcas were dispatched. They were given strict instructions to stick to retrieving the two men and then returning with them to Godric's Hollow where they could treat any injuries. Order members weren't to engage the enemy unless absolutely necessary.

"We have Aurors going in who can handle the Death Eater's. Your job is to get Black and Longbottom and get the hell out. Clear?"

"Clear," they echoed in unison.

Right before they were set to apparate, Lily went over to Alice and gathered her friend in a fierce hug.

"Bring him back, Lily," Alice begged quietly. Lily heard the tears thickening her friends voice and hugged her harder.

"I'll bring him home," Lily promised.

There was no time for goodbye's. James caught Lily's eye when he joined Dorcas to apparate. He smiled, winked despite the worry etched into his face, and mouthed 'love you'. Lily barely had time to return the sentiment before he was swept away with Dorcas.

Lily emptied her thoughts so her focus was narrowed on the mission at hand. She had to abandon her concern for James, her prayers that Dorcas would succeed in watching his back, and focus on their part in the retrieval.

When it was their turn, Lily took the arm Remus offered and mustered a smile.

"Ready?"

* * *

A/N Bit of a cliffie. The story is winding down. I initially wanted to write an entire year in their marriage. I've come up with an ending that I think suits this time in their lives and will close things nicely, but I also don't think we're going to go for an entire year. Trust me, okay?


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27: Monsters in the dark**

* * *

Remus and Lily were assigned the exterior of Hogsmeade. They skirted around the perimeter, avoiding the chaos of downtown where Dorcas and James began their sweep for Frank and Sirius. The idea was to cover as much ground as possible before McGonagall was able to assemble reinforcements.

Although none of them said so aloud, they each hoped that they would locate Sirius and Frank long before reinforcements were necessary.

"There are several buildings near here that have been emptied. We could check there first."

Lily merely nodded. Conversation was kept to a minimum to prevent drawing unwanted attention. Remus' starting point was as good as any. She followed him through the thicket of trees, pausing periodically to take cover and avoid being seen by anyone traveling on the road. They didn't want to take their chances with running into Death Eaters or being asked to leave by Aurors.

They had nearly reached the first building when Lily saw movement out of the corner of her eye and lunged for a handful of Remus' jumper.

"Remus, down!"

Jets of light shot over their head as they dropped to the ground. Lily landed roughly, knocking the wind out of her. She was still trying to catch her breath when Remus gripped her under each armpit and hauled her behind a tree.

"Thanks...for that," she wheezed.

"Think nothing of it," he replied with a mocking bow.

Lily grinned and bent at the waist, drawing in deep gasps of air. She steadied herself against the tree and pressed gently against her chest until she was no longer struggling for air.

"Ready?" Remus asked, peering out from behind the tree.

"Ready."

They stepped out on opposite sides of the tree, firing spells and disarming as many of the robed figures as they could before falling back and taking shelter behind another tree. They would have liked to take out the lot of them, but they were each very aware of their mission. The more time they spent engaging Death Eater's, the less time they spent actively looking for their friends.

"Looks like there's about ten of them," Lily said conversationally.

Remus grinned and shook his head at her lack of concern. Everyone had their reputation within the Order. Being paired with Lily Potter was always explained as being an interesting experience. She was calculated, no matter what the situation was, and wasn't prone to panic. Her mind always seemed to race ahead, as if she was trying to figure what the enemy would do and had already found a way to outsmart them by the time they got around to it.

Remus appreciated her skill and could only wonder what his own reputation entailed.

"Give or take."

"One more round ought to do it," she continued. "We can check the buildings and report back if we don't find anything."

"Sounds about right."

They managed to disarm several Death Eaters and cast the Confundus Charm to keep the rest from following them. The rest of their route was clear. They checked several buildings, making sure the exterior was clear before doing a sweep inside. When they reached the final building with no sign of any activity, they were meant to return to Godric's Hollow to report.

Remus felt weighed down with a feeling of helplessness. In an uncharacteristic show of frustration, he closed his eyes and slammed his fist into the side of the building. He kept his eyes closed for several moments, breathing heavily, he tried to organize his panicked thoughts.

When he opened his eyes, Lily was next to him. She didn't look particularly fazed by his actions. She merely cocked her head to one side and said, "We keep going, then."

Remus nodded his agreement.

"We keep going."

Remus was having a hard time speaking. The longer they ventured toward the center of town, the more his panic mounted. He hadn't realized before how much he had counted on finding Sirius and Frank quickly. He had imagined it all, been so sure that they would be found quickly and unharmed. Now that it wasn't working out that way, he was having a hard time imagining what the outcome would be.

"Right. We'll know when they're found because the portkey will activate."

"Exactly," Lily found his hand in the near darkness and gave it a squeeze.

He returned the gesture, grateful for the warmth of the contact on such a chilling night.

* * *

"You okay, Potter?"

James held up a hand, letting Dorcas know that he needed a moment. He had taken a nasty hex and his body was still sending aftershocks. Dorcas, bless her, kept an eye out for trouble but crouched next to him in the snow, rubbing his arms to relieve the sensation.

They sat that way for several minutes. James didn't have the coordination to speak properly yet so Dorcas kept up a steady stream of one-sided conversation. She talked through her strategy, gently reminding him how they would proceed, while his brain slowly bounced back from the effects of the hex.

"We still have three buildings left. We'll do our sweep and then go back through the main road one more time to make sure we haven't missed anything."

Nodding, James tipped his head back and breathed in the heavy scent of smoke. If he tried hard enough, he could pretend to ignore he screams and chaos from the crowds as they herded their families away from danger.

"We can try a few more of the lesser traveled roads, then report back to Moody and see what the situation is. Right?"

"Right," James croaked. He opened his eyes and smiled. Dorcas looked relieved and helped him to his feet.

"Let's do it, then. The sooner we find them, the sooner we can get warm around the fire."

Clearing the three buildings and keeping an eye peeled for any sign of Sirius, Frank, or Marlene was easier said than done. Death Eaters still swarmed the main roads as families and panicked shoppers rushed through the streets, trying to gather their companions and leave before another strike occurred. They were working against the crowd, pushing to get through and head directly into the eye of the storm rather than run from it.

Several times they were almost separated in the confusion. Dorcas managed to find his hand as they were losing sight of one another, or he would find her red jumper and grab the bottom to keep from losing her in the crowd.

They made their way steadily, trying to stay below the radar, while looking for any faces they recognized.

Another explosion rocked the ground beneath them. Dorcas landed hard on the ground, covering her head and forcing herself into the sitting position to keep from getting trampled. James caught himself before he fell and offered her a hand up.

"We have to see," James shouted. He had no idea if Dorcas could hear him. She nodded, though, and seemed to catch his meaning. "We have to see if that's where they are."

They continued forward, toward the flames, where the screams were the loudest and darkness fell over a crowd of swirling black cloaks.

* * *

"Lily!"

The sound almost went unheard over the terrified shrieks and screaming from the crowd. Lily stopped in the center of Hogsmeade, just outside Ollivanders and spun with her wand raised. Remus noticed that she had stopped and mirrored her actions, keeping his wand trained, even as he was unsure of what it was that drew her attention.

Marlene McKinnon was standing atop a bench. She was covered in what appeared to be ash, and as they drew closer, they could smell the stench of smoke radiating off from her clothes.

"What did Prongs say after you were sick on him from drinking too much firewhiskey in fourth year?" Remus demanded over the din, his wand still trained on Marlene.

"He told me I was a bloody disgrace and then passed out snoring," Marlene replied, her lips twisting at the memory.

"Have you found anything out?"

Lily helped her down from the bench. Marlene drew them away from the crowd so they could speak freely.

"Frank is safe. Apparently there was another attack near London. There's no backup coming. Everyone's being sent there to do damage control."

Marlene looked hopefully between Remus and Lily.

"Have you found Sirius?"

"Not yet. We're still looking, though."

"He wasn't with Frank?" Remus asked, alarmed.

"No. They were split up when things went south," Marlene said with an exhausted sigh. "I'll come with the pair of you. I can't leave until we've found him."

The trio took to the streets. They remained close, determined not to get separated even when the ground shook with the force of another explosion. As soon as they righted themselves, they were charging forward, surging on the hope that Sirius would be in the center of things, as he always seemed to be.

The scene they stumbled on was much different than anything they could have anticipated. Lily felt her stomach plummet. The noise of the crowd died away and static filled her ears. She felt like she was walking through mud, her limbs hardly moving at all, when in reality they were running toward the scene as fast as their legs would carry them.

James looked up as they approached. He was kneeling, his wand on the ground in front of him. He could have easily reached it but she knew he wouldn't make a move toward it. Sirius who was being held up by two men was shoved toward them, bleeding and nearly unconscious. Marlene charged forward and opened her arms, pulling him against her and stumbling under his weight rather than letting him fall to the ground.

"It's about time you lot showed up," the man closest to James sneered.

Lily felt her scalp tingle as the other cloaked figures laughed behind their masks. Remus placed his arm on her shoulder in a gesture she couldn't interpret. Was it a warning? They were clearly outnumbered. But he couldn't be asking her to fall back. There was no way any of them would retreat when one of their own, when James, was being held right before their eyes.

It was Marlene who broke the silence.

"What do you want with him?"

"Such a predictable question. I don't suppose you're clever enough to figure it out for yourselves, so we might as well tell you."

Laughter rippled through their ranks and Lily felt her stomach roll.

"James Potter has gathered quite a lot of attention for his success after Hogwarts. Who better to show what happens to traitors who marry Mudbloods than him?"

James winced as a wand tip was pressed into the flesh at his neck. Lily's hand tightened around her wand as her instincts screamed at her to do something.

"They'll pay attention to this one," the man continued. "They'll know what happens to traitors and filthy Mudbloods."

James was hauled to his feet and, without thinking, Lily shrugged off Remus' hand and strode forward.

"Take me, instead. Use me."

"You?"

The group laughed. James struggled against the arms that came around him, keeping him in place. She saw the anguish on his face and had to look away.

"Lily!"

"What use are you?"

"No!" James roared. His entire body struggled with renewed fight. A silencing charm was placed on him and he slumped forward as if her words were causing him physical pain.

"What better way to frighten other Mudbloods than by taking me? I'm his wife and I'm one of them."

The man seemed to consider her words. There was a heavy beat of silence where Remus and Marlene inched closer to Lily, determined to drag her away if they needed to. Before they could intervene, Lily was grabbed. Her wand was taken, snapped in front of everyone watching, as she was hurled into a pair of sturdy arms that would keep her from changing her mind, even if she wanted to.

"Release Potter. He can run along and tell the world what happens to traitors."

The crowd laughed as James was pushed away and fell back before being able to right himself.

"The Mudblood is coming with us."

* * *

Lily's picture made the Prophet the next day. In the photo, her hair was curtaining her face until someone out of the frame jerked her head back, exposing her wide, frightened gaze as it locked on the camera. The image replayed over and over again so it haunted and terrified readers.

Rumors spread that the Prophet had been infiltrated. How else did the image make the front page when none of the staff would admit to taking it, or knowing anything about where the photo came from?

James was at Sirius' bedside in St. Mungo's when he saw the picture. He chucked the paper with trembling hands and made such a commotion that he was sedated for his own safety.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28: The surly stag-boy **

_**"I don't think I would have survived without them. It's a blur, mostly, but I couldn't have braved it alone."**_

**-Diary of James Potter. March 1978**

* * *

"Smile, gorgeous," a female voice taunted.

Lily grimaced against the harsh flash of light and the manic laughter that followed. It took a great deal of effort to open her eyes, first one, then the other. She couldn't be sure, but she vaguely remembered being hit in a way that would suggest one eye was swollen. The left side of her face ached and if her hands were free, she would have felt around the ache to check if anything was broken.

As it was, her hands were bound behind her back. She was without a wand and too tired, sore, and hungry to contemplate her escape. If she could just rest...

"None of that now, ickle Potter. We can't have you falling asleep on the job, can we?"

More flashes of light. Lily bared her teeth at the woman with the mane of black hair. The woman laughed, the sound sending a chill through Lily. She was dressed as if she had a party to go to. Her dress was obviously high quality and generously displayed her figure. She had a face that would have been beautiful had it not been for the cruelty twisting her lips and flaring in her eyes.

The woman jerked Lily's chin and swept aside her hair. Another flash, a picture to capture her injuries and splash them in the papers.

"All done, Mudblood."

The blow to the left side of her face was sharp and the pain was enough to have her crash back against the wall, falling helplessly into unconsciousness.

* * *

The only noise was the delicate crunch of snow and ground beneath his boots. James took a moment to shrink his broom before tucking it into the front pocket of his coat in case he needed it. He was surrounded by open field. He knew that from giving the maps a cursory glance beforehand. There was only a sliver of moonlight, not enough to see by.

There were no trees nearby, he knew, not even a decent boulder or shrub for cover. The wind howled and battered him through his coat. He could have cast a heating charm but he preferred the punishing cold.

It kept him grounded in a way that nothing else could.

"The barn is a bit of a ways from here," Sirius said on his left. "Moony lifted the papers and figured we could save time and do it in form."

"No. I'm going on foot."

Another faint popping sound and Remus appeared. His hands were jammed into the depths of his pockets and he was hunched into his coat.

"Alright?"

"Prongs has gone 'round the bend," Sirius remarked offhandedly. He flicked his cigarette into the snow and covered it with snow, just in case. "Wants to go by foot."

"Out of the question."

James gritted his teeth and started forward.

"We're wasting time."

"Don't be a twat, Potter. If we go on foot, it will take longer and we'll be too tired to save your lady fair."

"As much as it pains me, Sirius is right," Remus remarked from somewhere on James' right side.

"We'll cover more ground if you two change into form. I'll fly overhead and see what there is to see."

James was through arguing. He changed in silence, concentrating on the stillness and the familiarity of the change as Remus produced his broom and flew off into the night to track their progress overhead and make sure they had the all-clear.

Padfoot yipped once in greeting. Prongs shook the snow from his antlers and started forward. They settled into a comfortable pace. The dog lead the way, bounding gleefully through the snow with much more merriment than the stag could manage, even in form.

Prongs felt a tightness around his chest. He comfortably cleared through the snow, following the dog, nudging the dog along when Padfoot lost focus and traveled back to wind around his legs for a play. He normally enjoyed the physicality of the stag. Tonight he couldn't.

All he could think about was the barn and the chance that Lily was there. Prongs pushed their pace, charging forward now, antlers down, hooves beating out a desperate rhythm.

_LilyLilyLily._

They remained in form until Remus landed several paces ahead of them. James changed first, and then Sirius who was always reluctant to come back from being Padfoot.

"The barn is up ahead. No lights on that I can see. Footprints around the door, though."

"I'll take lead," James said quietly.

"Right. Moony, if you would be so kind as to bring up the rear?"

"Always a pleasure," Remus said dryly.

They started forward. Their boots were charmed to clean up any prints they left behind. The wind took care of most of it, but they weren't taking chances. The trio arrived at the barn, staring at it in silence before moving forward.

James went first, approaching the front instead of wasting time by going around the side and inching forward. As Remus reported, there were no lights on. No noise. No anything. The hope that had eased the tightness in his chest began to fade as they approached the door as a unit.

It was James who blasted the double doors off their hinges. When the great thing fell and cleared the way, he moved forward with his wand sweeping the interior. Sirius used his wand to light the inside of the barn and Remus followed up by checking around them to make sure they were still alone.

All at once, the smell hit them.

The barn was warm when they stepped inside, much warmer than the unforgiving winter night. There was a trace of old barn smell, the smell of hay and old tools. It was the sickly sweet smell, however, that disturbed the three men.

"More light!" James barked.

They each used their wands to inspect the inside of the expansive barn. Their light revealed the first body and James felt sick rise in his throat. Remus stumbled back before right himself and bringing his coat up to cover his mouth and nose.

Sirius shook his head in wonder, his eyes hollowing out as he breathed, "Fuck me."

James swallowed thickly and dropped to his knees. Red. He was looking for any red hair among the bodies littering the floor. He was careful not to touch any of them or disrupt the surrounding area. He merely pointed his wand and leaned in close, breathing through his mouth to avoid the smell.

"Prongs, by the smell of things, they've been in here too long. Lily wouldn't-"

"I have to know," James said desperately.

There were eight of them in all. They could have been a family. Mum, dad, six kids of various ages. No red. They had brown hair.

James reared back, disgusted by his sense of relief that he hadn't found Lily among them. Before Remus or Sirius could speak, he quit the barn. He stumbled into the night, dropping down in the snow and emptying the contents of his stomach into the pristine snow.

When James recovered, having nothing left to expel, he saw that Sirius had dropped beside him, breathing heavily and fumbling for his pack of cigarettes. Remus was leaning against the barn, his head tipped back, eyes closed as he shivered beneath his coat.

"We have to let Moody know."

James swiped the back of his hand over his mouth, nodded.

_LilyLilyLily._

* * *

There was hell to pay when they arrived back in Godric's Hollow. Charlus and Dorea Potter were seated in the living room, every light in the house blazing when the trio Floo'd in. James spotted the look on each of their faces and regretted giving them Floo access.

Dorea was on her feet in an instant. She gathered James into her arms, surprisingly tight for such a small woman, before reaching out to include Remus and Sirius in the embrace.

"My boys," she repeated over and over again, touching each of their heads, rubbing their backs as if convincing herself they were really there.

"What were you thinking?" She demanded. "The pair of you leaving St. Mungo's against Healer advice!"

"No sign of her?" Charlus asked quietly.

He hadn't moved from his spot on the couch. James kept an arm around his mum, still comforting, even as he looked his father in the eye and said, "No. Nothing so far."

Charlus nodded and fixed his gaze to the floor. He looked as if he had aged years over the past few days. The grey in his hair stood out more now, having moved from the temples to thread through the rest of his hair. Even the way he was sitting, arms on his knees, hunched forward spoke to the weariness he was feeling since Lily had been taken.

James sat beside his father, unknowingly mirroring his pose.

"I don't think I can do this," he said quietly.

Dorea was speaking to Sirius and Remus, chiding them gently and asking after Peter, allowing James to speak freely with his father. Charlus didn't look up and James was sure that he hadn't heard or wouldn't answer. After a moment, his father rested a hand on his knee, squeezing it gently like he did when James was little.

"You have to, James," Charlus replied gently. "You just have to."

* * *

The sun was making its first appearance in the sky when James attempted to slip out the door, unnoticed. He wasn't sure if he had slept. Behind his glasses, his eyes burned for sleep. The rest of him, body and mind, were thrumming with energy, as if he'd never sleep again.

_LilyLilyLily._

"Whereyougoin?"

"Go back to sleep, Remus."

Narrowing his gaze at James, Remus hauled himself over to the edge of the sofa so he could shove Sirius awake.

"Fuckoffsleeping," Sirius grumbled into his pillow.

"It's Prongs."

Sirius didn't stir, but peeked one eye open. "What'bout'im?"

"He's trying to pull one over on us."

"Queen's English, if you don't mind, Moony."

"James is sneaking off."

James rolled his eyes at their conversation. He made a point of ignoring them as he shrugged on his coat and sat down to pull on his boots. He didn't notice any movement but when he went to approach the door, Sirius was blocking it. Remus was next to him, scowling fiercely. They were almost intimidating if he discounted the ridiculous bedhead.

"Move. I'll be back before you even put the kettle on."

Sirius snorted out a laugh like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard.

"We're not moving," Remus said slowly.

"If you don't move then you two will take twenty years to dress and finish your breakfast. I can check this place out a lot faster on my own."

"I'm sorry. Remus, did you just hear the stag-boy say that he wants to go into enemy territory without back up? Because that's almost too foolish to believe."

"I'm afraid you heard right. It seems he's gone completely mad."

When Peter arrived an hour later, they were still brawling. Sirius had James in a headlock, keeping him tucked securely under his arm. James was flailing uselessly until he freed himself. He made a break for the door where Peter was standing with breakfast, but Sirius dropped to the floor and grabbed his ankle.

James went down fast and Remus took the opportunity to sit on his back, effectively preventing him from moving.

"I don't suppose anyone put the kettle on."

"We've been a little busy, Pete," Sirius said from the floor.

"What's gotten into Prongs?"

"He tried to run out on his own this morning."

Peter tsked and carried breakfast into the kitchen where he began plating the food.

"Prongs, if Remus lets you up, do you promise to behave like a good stag-boy?"

James' response was an expletive. Sirius and Remus took up residence on his back, drinking their tea and picking at breakfast from their perch. They discussed Quidditch stats, a relatively safe topic, and then moved to the weather and how crap Peter was at picking out quality breakfast spots.

"Oy! I deliver to you lazy sods and you complain about quality? Where's the gratitude?"

"He has a point."

"No, he doesn't. The toast is rubbish."

For the most part, James didn't move. He put up a fight every so often before remaining still and pressing his face into the floor. He was sure they would have been content to sit on him for the rest of the morning if the doorbell hadn't prompted movement.

"Pete, you're dressed and sharp looking. Get the door."

"Twats," Peter muttered but did as Sirius said.

James pressed his face into the floor once more. He was unconcerned about company. Unconcerned about lots of things, really. He didn't have the energy to fight them anymore. He accepted the bits of toast they passed down to him, thinking about his stops for the day and then the places he would visit under the cover of darkness.

There were several spots left to check for Lily and then he'd have to do some more investigating...

"J-James? James!"

The alarm in Peter's voice had James bucking off Remus and Sirius, who fell to the floor in a heap with their breakfast plates. James scrambled up and bolted to the door where Peter stood, shell-shocked and pointing at the small figure huddled on the doorstep.

"Lily?"

His knees went weak. James couldn't have walked if he wanted to. Instead, he dropped to the floor and shuffled over to her broken frame. Gently, he pushed the wall of red hair out of her face so she could see him. One eye was swollen shut and the rest of her face was littered with scrapes, the skin turning a nasty shade of yellow-green as bruises formed.

She was trembling, her arms locked around her legs, filthy and, as James drew closer, he saw that she was biting her lip to keep from crying.

"Evans," he breathed.

He opened his arms, close enough for her to crawl into them and situate herself in his lap. She pressed her head against his chest and cried out, racking sobs that James felt through his entire body. Her trembling intensified as she gripped a handful of his shirt, anchoring herself in his arms.

It was another hour before James relocated them. He scooped her into his arms, accepting a blanket from Remus, and kicked the front door shut behind him. He seated them on the couch, keeping her pressed against him. He rested his cheek against her head, running a soothing hand lightly over her arms.

"You're home, love. I've got you."

* * *

Lily didn't recognize the man standing over her. He was older, handsome, and dressed in robes that tickled something in her memory.

"Do you know what today's date is?"

"Your eyes are very blue," she said instead of answering. "Conner? Con..."

"Connery. We work together."

"You're being too nice to me," it flooded her mind suddenly and she couldn't stop talking if she wanted to. "Healer Connery. You're never this nice. I must be dying."

That earned an amused laugh from the Healer.

"You're not dying, Potter. You'll have some nasty bruises and I had to heal a break in your arm, but you'll live. I've instructed your doting husband to administer a nutrition supplement on the hour for the next twelve hours. After that you can start with broth and work your way up to solid food."

Only one word really stuck in Lily's mind.

"Doting?"

"He's been pacing the hall for the past ten hours. I suppose I should let him in before he hexes me."

Lily glanced around at her surroundings. The bedding was soft beneath her fingers. There were picture frames on the nightstand and books on a shelf near the window. It was difficult to make out the pictures and titles with her eye still healing, but it didn't look like a hospital to her.

"Am I home?"

"Indeed," Healer Connery said in that same gentle fashion that made her nervous.

"Potter enlisted my services. He didn't want to deal with the press hounding you at St. Mungo's."

"Potter," Lily said softly.

"I'll get him for you. Just a minute."

The door clicked shut behind him. It was only a minute later that the door re-opened and James appeared. He looked tired beyond reason, unshaven and wearing the same clothes he had been wearing when she was dumped on the front stoop.

But he smiled and, though she looked a mess, Lily offered a small smile in return. He perched at the edge of the bed, taking her left hand in his so he could toy with her wedding band.

"I won't be forgiving you for that anytime soon."

"For what?" Lily practically sighed the words. She was tired again, and the warmth of his hand felt as if it were spreading through the rest of her, lulling her to sleep.

"For doing what you did. Asking them to take you."

He threaded his fingers through hers as sleep tugged at her body, more and more insistently.

"It wasn't planned or anything."

She heard James laugh, the sound breaking off as his body shook with something other than laughter. She felt a tear land on her arm and tried to raise it to touch his cheek, to convince him that she was alright.

"You'll be making this one up to me for awhile, alright?"

"Alright," Lily sighed, falling into a peaceful sleep as he curled up next to her in bed.

* * *

**A/N Lily is hooome. Hooray! We're truly winding down. I can't give an approximation, just know that we're tying up loose ends. This story is meant to capture a very specific time-frame in their lives, so it won't be going past this first year of marriage. Stick around and let me know what you thought! **


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29: Home**

"_It was good seeing him. He had his family. They were beautiful, perfect even. And it only made me that much more eager to get back to mine. Nothing could compare to the complete chaos that awaited me at home. I wouldn't change it for anything."_

_-Diary of Lily Evans, August, 1978_

* * *

The sun was up when Lily opened her eyes next. James was still stretched beside her but he was awake with a cup in hand.

"Time for a potion."

Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste and earned a soft laugh from James. He helped her sit up, boosting her head so it would go down easily. Lily drank the entire horrid thing and was grateful when James handed her a cup of water to rinse the taste from her mouth.

"How's the pain?"

"Better."

"Your cheek looks good. And the swelling's down around your eye."

"I can see out of it now. More than before, I mean."

Lily wanted to say more but her tongue felt heavy and her mind was sluggish. The potion had taken care of much of the lingering pain, making it easy to slip back to sleep.

* * *

"How is she?"

James took a seat between Marlene and Alice, gladly accepting a steaming cup of tea. He cradled it in his hands, inhaling the warmth before taking his first sip.

"Better. Sirius and Peter are at the house while she rests."

"It's a shame there's a war on, or you could call off your patrol to sit with her," Marlene remarked in one of her flashes of dark humor. Her grin was slow, tugging gently at her mouth until she was laughing and reaching to top off her cup.

"Too right," Alice agreed. "This war business is really cramping my time with Frank."

"Time with your husband, you say? Bloody war's cutting into my Quidditch practice."

They collapsed into laughter, at that, finding solace in the company and the break from the more serious talk about the state of things.

"Potter!"

James groaned, collapsing into Marlene dramatically who shoved him away with a laugh. Unimpressed by their laughter, Moody approached the group and jerked his head toward the hall.

"A word."

James bit back his laughter as he followed Moody into the kitchen at headquarters. Alice and Marlene were pulling faces behind Moody, but quickly schooled their features when he shot a glare over his shoulder.

"You're dismissed for the afternoon."

"Sir?" James was sure he wasn't hearing correctly.

Call it lack of sleep, or wishful thinking, but Moody was unforgiving when it came to the patrol schedule. The man loved his schedule and nothing, death aside, had gotten anyone relieved yet. The thought struck James and his laughter faded.

"You're bloody useless to me, boy."

James had nothing to say to that.

"Get out of here. Get some sleep. Eat something. And for the love of Merlin, shave that mess on your face. I don't want to see you back here until your next patrol, and you better be in a proper state."

"Absolutely. I...thank you, sir."

James said a hurried goodbye to Alice and Marlene before bolting through the front door, just past the wards, so he could apparate into the garden at Godric's Holllow. He let himself in the back, thrilled when he came through the door and found Lily laughing with Peter and Sirius in the kitchen.

"James," Lily looked surprised, then happy to see him. Her face was still blooming with a nasty bruise but she could smile without pain and she had made it downstairs. All good signs.

"What are you doing back? I thought Moody had his claws into you for the afternoon."

"He told me to get out. Surplus of members lurking about," he lied, "So I was able to come home."

Spotting the lie, Sirius pushed away from the table. He ruffled Lily's hair gently, making her laugh and swat him on the stomach before dropping a noisy kiss on her cheek.

"Well, now that Prongs has things covered, I reckon we can shove off."

"Right," Peter added, catching on. "We'll be round on Saturday for drinks."

"Thank you for Lily-sitting," Lily called as they saw themselves out.

"Any time, Mrs. Potter," Sirius called merrily, throwing a wink at James.

They left with their customary bang, slamming the door cheerfully behind them. James hardly minded the ruckus that signaled their departure. Normally their tendency to bang around the house while making as much noise as possible elicited, at the very least, an eye roll.

He couldn't be bothered today, though, with Lily sitting next to him, looking the healthiest he'd seen her since she'd arrived home.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I'll never have to eat again. Peter made enough breakfast for the entire Order."

"You ate solid food? That's brilliant!"

"And my cheek's healing nicely." Lily appeared thoughtful. "I think I can even stand a proper kiss now that it doesn't feel like I was trampled by a herd of Hippogriffs."

"A proper kiss, eh?"

"Think you're up to it?"

Despite her reassurance, he was gentle not to jostle her the way he normally did. No hauling her into his arms and throwing her over his shoulder as he carried them upstairs. Instead, he took her hand in his, walking her around the table and up the stairs. They took their time, careful of her footing.

He used to love the way she laughed when he dropped her on the bed. He remembered the way she bounced on the mattress and covered her face, overcome with laughter. They would get back to that eventually. For today, she perched herself on the edge of the bed and lifted her shirt clean over her head.

James went cold.

Lily placed her finger under his chin, tipping his head back so he met her eyes.

"The bruises will fade."

"I know."

She reached down and took his hand, guiding in to her abdomen. She placed it over the bruised flesh, even taking the time to smooth out his fingers, tracing each one in the process. She really did love his hands. They were oversized, almost a bit clumsy looking. But they were steady and always felt right when they touched her.

She saw the hesitation in his eyes and would have laughed if it didn't make her throat so tight to see him this way. Lily kissed his cheek, lingering against the skin there.

"You need a shave."

She felt his smile before she saw it.

"Are you offering?"

"Come on, you."

She tugged him into the bathroom, guiding him to the edge of the tub where she instructed him to sit. James looked amused as she prepared the razor and filled the basin with warm, soapy water.

"Arms up." She attempted to sound no-nonsense, but ruined it with a smirk.

James complied and she removed his shirt. She lathered his face and sat down beside him, turning him toward her so she could begin removing the growth.

"You never let it get this long."

"I had other things on my mind."

His fingers went to her leg where he made lazy patterns on her denim clad thigh. Lily shivered before steadying herself and returning to the task at hand. She was careful, working slowly to avoid nicking him. When it came time to do the skin around his chin, she handed the razor back and urged him toward the mirror.

"I don't want to muck it up and have you bleeding out."

"I can do it without a mirror," he insisted, laughing as she pushed him toward the sink.

"Show-off."

He worked in silence. Lily perched herself behind him, peering over his shoulder as he finished. When he was tidying up around the sink, Lily pushed herself flush against his back and brushed her lips against his bare shoulder. She felt the tense of muscle through his back and grinned against the warmth of his skin.

"I could use a shower," she remarked quietly.

"Want some privacy?"

Lily's gaze whipped to the mirror where she saw his reflection grinning back at her.

"Not a chance, Potter."

They undressed on their own. Lily watched him as she unbuttoned her jeans and shoved them over her hips. He watched her in return, taking note of the way she dragged her knickers down over her legs and stepped out of them.

They waited until the bathroom began to steam before stepping under the water. Lily wanted the steam to cover them, to cover everything, including the bruises that littered her abdomen and arms. She wanted to hide in the steam, just her and James. She would propose staying there forever, eventually, when their lips weren't otherwise occupied.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

His lips dragged over her neck and she almost forgot what she wanted to say.

"Be a dear and wash my back?"

James' laughter cut through the steam. It erased the fantasy of remaining tucked away, just wrapped up in each other, forever. His hands found her hips so he could pull her flush against him and she couldn't say that she minded in the least.

* * *

**Summer 1978**

Lily wouldn't have crashed into them if she hadn't been busy consulting her grocery list. As it was, she was concentrating on finding the brand of biscuit Sirius requested, something ridiculous and expensive, the git, when she thumped into a figure rounding the corner.

"Oh!"

"Sorry about that."

They both paused, recovering quickly from the jarring collision, to stare at one another in total silence. It was Lily who spoke first, looking from shocked husband to his wife who looked on curiously as she approached with a sleeping baby in her arms.

"Adam, how are you?"

Adam Bell smiled, his arm going around his wife's shoulders.

"I'm fine, thanks, Lily. Sorry for nearly running you down."

"Not at all," Lily's gaze swung to the other woman. She would be Katherine Bell, then. She was holding the small bundle in her arms almost nervously, as if she wasn't entirely settled into motherhood yet. Even still, motherhood looked as if it agreed with her.

"Hello, Katherine. It's nice to meet you."

"Same to you," Katherine replied with a warm smile. "I...I hope it's not too forward, but I saw, I mean I heard about what happened to you. In the papers. You look well."

Lily understood the other woman's discomfort and offered a smile to put her at ease.

"Yes, thank you. I'm well. Congratulations, by the way. To both of you."

Katherine grinned and Adam glanced fondly at his wife and baby, smiling proudly.

"Thank you. Her name's Kathleen."

"She's lovely. How old is she?"

"Three months next week," Adam was distracted momentarily by the softness of his daughter's cheek. Katherine coughed lightly, bringing his attention back, and his gaze swung to Lily. "How about you? How's Potter? Seems to be doing well on the pitch."

"He does alright. He loves the game but hates all the travel."

An understanding passed between them. It was only a moment, but their shared history reflected briefly in the look they shared. It was Lily who looked away first, her gaze going back to Katherine and the baby.

"I'll let the pair of you go. Hopefully you can get out of here before she wakes up."

"That's the plan, anyway. It was good to meet you, Lily."

"Same to you. Take care, both of you."

"Take care of yourself, Lily." Adam said as the couple wandered down the aisle.

Lily smiled after them, before returning to her list.

They were having a party at Godric's Hollow. Everyone was bringing a dish, even Sirius, bless him. Except Clover who was bringing her latest boyfriend, instead. He was some sort of model, and apparently he was good looking enough for her to get away with not bringing a dish.

Sirius and Marlene would sit together, upholding a firm hands-off policy in front of Peter. Lily made a note to watch Remus and Dorcas. He had mentioned, casually, that he'd be bringing her round for dinner. Lily hoped that it was far from casual. She would consult Clover, Marlene, and Alice about it after dinner.

"Right. Biscuits."

Lily saw the couple on her way out. She gave a little wave, smiled, and wandered out into the brilliant summer sunshine. Back to Godric's Hollow. Back to the family that was waiting for her.

* * *

** A/N And that, as they say, is that.**

**Originally, I intended this to be a much different story. Of course, my original plan was blown when I wrote this story over the course of several years. I could have written this story forever. I love these characters and the direction things are headed. But I needed to end it here because I wanted to capture a very specific time in their lives. I wanted the war and darkness to creep in (as it did!) but not overshadow their friendships and the growing pains they all went through. **

**I have another project in mind that will focus more on the Order and introduce us to characters like Ted and Andromeda Tonks, and some others that I wasn't able to include in here.**

**Thank you to everyone who has followed this story and shared their feedback. You all make this such an awesome experience. If you're interested in checking out my future projects, you can follow me on here or through tumblr under the same name. **

**Best, **

**JNSG**


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